Why do women always like to mess with guys?

Post Reply New Topic

god either doesent exist or it is very, very cruel.

Awesome!

KenM it seems a little bit that your problem with "women" seems to be an issue with a woman.
Worlds of difference between the two.
Some women are good and some bad. Some "mess" with guys and some do not. Some are evil incarnate and some are angels.
Tell you one thing though, chances of you finding and being receptive to a good woman is going to be limited if you have an attitude that they are all horrid conniving cows.

You can't control other people and if you are like most of us your ability to second guess people is pretty terrible. What is the only thing you have control of? You.

Oh that crap about understanding why people shoot up women or whatever, that was kind of ridiculous wasn't it. Like really, really ridiculous. Like right up there with being able to understand the mindset of someone who would rape a woman. You ought to not say these types of things if you don't believe them and if you do, go get treatment.

Or he's just leaving our problems to us to work out. How many people follow his word these days?

I have made statements blasting all women. But I know I was wrong about that. I have felt that it was not just that women I mentioned was messing with me. I felt a alot of the women I was involved with have meesed with me. When you think alot of women have done that, you tend to generalize.

i do like how you blame this on ALL women lol as their are bastard men their are bastard women it is not a specific gender that is bad it is the person as soon as this narrow minded gender obsessed society opens its eyes a little more you'll realise this.

And i doubt any women would want to be with some sexist women hater lol. women have just as much trouble finding someone who doesnt want to screw them over so dont think your special in that regard have more patience and try to be more open minded towards people and try finding a better group of friends if you hate being used by them

No -- it's better to start out well, because you get the confidence. You know that no matter what happens, at one point you HAD IT. When you start out without getting the attention and nurturing you need, you either turn out into a sour, bitter person, or one with no confidence (or both). So much of who we are today is based on what we experienced growing up.

Just like the old saying -- better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.

And btw, it's not garbage -- it's pretty well known that women, no matter how they look, can get "intimacy" pretty much at will with a guy (though maybe not the guy they want, or even a decent one).

But do they want it? If they aren't attractive or at least promiscuous does it really work that way? I've heard stories from a female member of another sight of a friend she had who was stunningly attractive, NT social skills but with aspie-ish benefits, never had a man - in her 40's and still single - because she doesn't wear the roll. True, its chaotic, no one can call it, just that there's a lot more that goes into this and a lot of women here and elsewhere who are every bit as lonely as the guys.

Heck, if I was able to utterly drop my standards I could have it anytime too as well as most of the guys here I'd imagine. Not trying to ride you as I know where your coming from and why you think the way you do on this but trust me, the more you talk to the girls around here and even some of the more intelligent out-of-the-way NT's the more you find out that the image your thinking of goes for particular women rather than all or even most.

No problem, it's good to clarify points and make distinctions. No, they probably don't want it as much (not nearly as much as guys that age do), but I think there is still a basic affirmation, even if it is unwanted, that someone wants them. Loneliness is a little bit of a separate issue -- even those who get "intimate" often get lonely. I think guys generally try to fulfill the intimacy issue and take out loneliness at the same time, but they aren't necessarily linked.

I have told a couple men outright I wanted nothing to do with them. This backfired. Many women get pissed off stalkers as a result, and it's pretty f*cking scary. I'm getting to the point where I'm avoiding most men, unless my intuition tells me they're ok. Then, friends it is. Unfortunately, the last guy I told directly I wanted only to be friends has started to take things too far, subconsciously thinking he has a chance, making lewd comments, and generally being very uncomfortable to talk to, and certainly hang out with. It's when this happens that I want nothing to do with them anymore and want to walk away, change my numbers, move to a different city, change my name, and never go online again.

If any woman has gone through this, she's probably going to do the same thing. If she feels the guy is not taking her mate rejection seriously, or if he's resenting her for it, she's probably going to dodge him altogether. Men can be dangerous and women are programmed to evade those potential threats; it goes back a long way in human history.



If you didn't care, why did you ask? This may have been asked already in this thread, I haven't gotten to read it through since it's huge. That's the first question to cross my mind. When guys ask me that, I know they're interested, period. Why else would it matter to them if they're just friends? If it's completely casual, it's generally not so straight forward and it's integrated into an appropriate conversation.

When I've been asked by male acquaintances if I'm 'seeing someone,' I know what they're getting at. They're not asking out of curiosity 99% of the time. I'm afraid to tell them "yes," because they often revoke any friendship we could have had and, even worse, become resentful for my going with someone else. Unless it's a woman I'm with, of course. Then they make lewd remarks and ask if they can watch, or openly admit they'd like to get in on a threesome.

As Hale Bopp said, men aren't saints. Studies strongly suggest the male brain is actually hardwired for jealousy and sexual aggression. These are things I'd prefer to avoid, personally.

lol, when women say they want a guy with confidence it means they want a guy who has the balls to physically escalate amongst other things.

Those of you complaining about getting friend zoned have poor, asexual body language and do not make things physical fast enough (I'm not saying anything overtly sexual, but she has to be comfortable in close proximity to you). Given that you're in the right circumstances, if within a few hours (I say much less, but sometimes circumstances just do not permit) of meeting her is she not touching you in anyway, you've probably screwed up and you should move on.

Wow. That's just disturbing, to say the least, and presumptuous. Following your advice could lead to complaints of harassment in some cases... not wise in my opinion, at all - and assumptive to attempt to tell everyone that you know exactly what their problem is. *shakes head* Do not agree, at all.


M.

You have to use a lot of discretion. For instance, if you're not obviously comfortable with yourself, lack confidence, and stifle your movement, there's no way in hell you should be doing any of that. Before you do anything physical (for instance, just put your hand on her shoulder in a friendly way) you can generally see whether or not she's going to be open to it based purely on how long she holds eye contact with you and the concurrent facial expressions that come along with it. I know that's not information easily detected by those with AS, but it's possible to learn to recognize it when you see it through repeat exposure.

I know I'm painting with broad strokes here, but that was exactly my problem before I started to look into social dynamics.

I was recently rejected, about 2 years ago. We stayed friends for 8 more months after that. She had abruptly cut contact, and I didn't know why. About 6 months after, she finally admitted that she had found someone else, and she was expecting a very nasty reaction.

In reality, I told her that she didn't have to hide it from me, and I apologized for making some errors in judgment on my part. Nothing more.

You're operating under the assumption that one has the ability to interpret social cues accurately; why would you presume that when discussing the issue with those people for whom that is a key component of the difficulties they face? If eye contact is unbearable, then how does one measure how they look at you? How does one decipher an expression that, at best, is a mass of disparate characteristics that make as much sense as an electronics manual written in Japanese, then poorly translated to English before finally being written out in Dutch slang would be to a dog? You do concede the difficulty, but do not provide any explanation how 'repeat exposure' helps with something for which there is no initial context? I had to ask a lot of questions over the years, lost people I considered friends, in order glean enough information to even make basic assumptions... and I still don't feel comfortable with what you suggest. Those I know well enough, I can hug and shake hands, but putting my hand on the shoulder of anyone who I do not have established at least a basis of interest beforehand isn't something I would consider. Just thinking aloud, I suppose.


M.