Following the Weight bandwagon.

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at least you own that instead of relying on the whole 'it's not my fault, i swear.' excuse.

In a lot of cases,
it truly ISN'T someone's fault.

what, at all?

Yup.

I can't think of a thing I've done, or my mother's done, to result in being obese-
some people just have a horrible metabolism.
I've spoken with my grandmother about it (my mom's adopted)
and she says my mom was always the biggest baby at playgroups.

I'm on a couple support forums for people who have trouble losing weight,
and many of them have been that way their entire lives, through no fault of their own.

Last edited by Bethie on 30 Mar 2011, 8:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

I've seen a picture of you, you're not obese.

At least you can see in a lot of cases it is bad diet etc?
Obviously there are exceptions.

If you've seen a picture of me south of my neck, I don't know where you found it...because there aren't any.
I'm quite safely classified as obese, by the BMI, at least. (That's a whole 'nother can o' worms.)

Of course it can be the result of a bad diet. But that's not the case for everyone.
I have yet to meet an obese person who is such because they eat Cheetos and guzzle Coke all day.

Last edited by Bethie on 30 Mar 2011, 8:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

oh don't get me started on BMI.

& no; of course not for everyone.

@Bethie, compulsive overeating - resulting in morbid obesity - is an eating disorder. Compuslive undereating - resulting in the skeletal appearance of anorexia - is an eating disorder. While compulsive overeating may not be the reason for your weight problem, it is the reason for an overwhelming number of people who are obese/morbidly obese. I've known too many people who have suffered from compulsive overeating - and found health and healing - when they accepted they had an eating disorder and sought treatment for it. Please don't spead misinformation because that is not your own personal experience.

You know, I'm really surprised by what I'm hearing, @Erisad. A college-educated woman who has resigned herself to being unable to make her own way - before she's even graduated? So you're looking for a man to support you? I may be kind of old school, but that's not a plan - it's a dodge. I suggest you do what the rest of us "artists" do to pay the bills - get a day job. There are lots of way to use your education to make a living: write requirements, user manuals, documentation; teach English or creative writing, whatever. Take control of your life, or you could be back here complaining that you married a monster you can't afford to leave.

Agreed.

I sometimes struggle with emotional eating. Not to be confused with binging, but both are eating disorders.

"When hungry, eat enough food to satisfy your hunger."

Anyone who has enough food at their disposal but whose eating habits differ from the above rule probably has an eating disorder.

There are people who eat when they aren't hungry, and eat far too much.

Then there are other people who don't eat when they are hungry, and eat far too little.

Both are eating disorders.

I used to be like that. You think I'm whiny about my weight now, I was much worse back then. I know that some of it is genetics and a lot of it is from the antidepressants; 40 pounds gained in 2 years without change in diet or exercise. I've been on the stuff for 5 years so a decent portion of my weight is from that. I also know that I haven't been taking care of myself as much when I first started going to college. Back in high school, I was getting exercise with the marching band for at least 12 hours a week. During band camp it was 12 hours a day. I was still a little chunky but damn I was toned in my calves and arms. >.<

Yeah, BMI can kiss the fattest part of my ass. Granted, I'm considered obese on most of those types of scales. Body Fat %, BMI, Waist to Hip ratio. My waist to hip ratio is about at a .79, which isn't that bad. However, it can be improved and it has improved a lot this past year.

I think that's a very harsh thing to say, given that this is a forum for autistic people, not all of whom are able to function in society, hold down a job, or take care of themselves. Remember that?

I completely identify with Erisad's position and "married a monster" myself, because I was so desperate to have a roof over my head. In the middle of a nervous breakdown my parents were kicking me out and insisting I get a job and support myself. I had no other option but to marry. No one wanted me. No one knew back then that I had AS. They all blamed me for this and that and everything. I was a lazy sponger, apparently. Far from being a lazy sponger, I was an abandoned terrified autistic. I still am.

My monster took care of me for a while, but has since run off with another woman, and I'm back to square one taking care of myself. I'd ask you not to falsely assume that all Aspies are the same. Some have jobs; some don't. Some need carers; some don't. Some can take care of themselves; some can't. Not all men are monsters, and there are some who still retain good old-fashioned values and love nothing better than to provide for their spouse. A woman shouldn't be made to feel ashamed for wanting to adopt a traditional role, just because the rest of the world is shrieking about wanting to be feminist.

The "college-educated woman" that you are referring to is here because she has Asperger's Syndrome, and she's making herself vulnerable by opening up and admitting her real motives for wanting a man.

In her case, finding a man is a necessity, not a luxury. So how about trying to be a bit more kind?

Yeah, I've never been able to hold a job longer than a few months at a time. I've never been fired, I would leave for college and then be asked to not return. :/

I can't drive, I've been trying to learn for a while now and I can't get it. My mom says she's going to send me to driving school but I doubt it. She's said that for years and it's never happened. Something else always comes up, like a designer handbag. She's a shopping addict. I keep telling her that there are better things she can spend her money on and she gets irate about it. I know it's her money but when she wants to help her kids make their way into the world, she kinda needs to reprioritize.

If I was able to keep a job and learn to drive, I would be able to take care of myself but I can't do those things. I process too much while driving and get overwhelmed...even though we were only practicing in an empty parking lot. It might have helped if my mom wants shrieking and stamping on the invisible brake. >.<

Sorry if I'm not enough of a feminist for some of you. I believe in equal rights and all that but I don't have the skills to be self-sufficient at this time. The economy is s**t so who knows if I'll be able to find a job anywhere? I may end up going on welfare until things get better. D:

Erisad, I can't drive either. I can't keep a job, either.

After struggling from job to job for ten years, marrying a monster to escape, and then being left high and dry, I am now on the UK equivalent of welfare.

Don't feel ashamed about it. It's not your fault.

I have only recently found out I have AS, and am now having to deal with all the years of false guilt that have been piled on me by my family yelling at me all the time: "stop asking people for money / take care of yourself / you're an adult/ grow up / face your responsibilities / you're such a lazy failure/ why can't you be more like your sister, etc."

I always felt like I was going mad, because deep down I know perfectly well that I am not lazy.

I now know that there's part of my brain that is not an adult, and cannot deal with being forced to take care of myself in an adult world. I can't do adult things, like driving a car or bringing home a wage. I need taking care of, just like you. It's not our faults.

*hugs*

i need taking care of too.
but it's not really a healthy way to live as an adult.

I was told not to even bother going to college because of my AS so I got pissed off and attended college just to spite that one random psychologist whose name I don't remember.

My family is always on me about learning to drive and "when is that best seller's book coming out?" and my mom's favorite, "when you're a famous writer, aren't you going to build a whole wing onto your house for me?" First off, that's not how being an author works. Most of the money goes to the publishers. You need to get on the Best Seller's List three times in order to make a living off of it. Most writers go their entire careers and never get on the Best Seller's List. Why? Same as why most bands aren't successful. They need to be marketable, current and lucky. So all this pressure they're putting on me isn't helping.

I asked about being put on welfare and my mom completely shut the idea down. "You don't need that. You're a white woman who lives in the suburbs with a degree." As if the degree magically attracts money to it like a magnet (I wish). Despite what my mom thinks, single white women make up the majority of those that are on welfare. D: