No prospect of future GF = Get a prostitute instead?

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I don't necessarily disagree with this. But in the context of this thread, it seems like you guys might be suggesting that people shouldn't bother trying to become psychologically healthy, because in some cases, it might not be possible. Or perhaps something else? I'm a bit baffled really.

Sorry for not being clear enough Moog - my comment was out of context actually I don't believe people should stop trying healing and that's why I mentioned learning to function despite severe trauma, maybe I should have also added that great wisdom can be gained from great pain. And I never saw such people as "damaged" or unable/unworthy of having relationships either. I made great friends amongst people who suffered terrible abuse and often found in them a depth not easy to find in those who had a perfectly "normal" or "healthy" existence. I actually only quite recently became aware of the stigma attached to abuse victims and that many people think they should be avoided due to their baggage etc.

I found mv's and emlion's comments interesting and avoided the main subject as I felt this horse has been beaten to death.

I would never pay for a prostitute, not matter how desperate I am. It just is not my style.

A prostitute doesn't have sex with you out of her love for you, she does it because you pay her to do it. If I have sex with a woman, I want her to do it because she loves me and not because she is paid to do it.

I think i'd rather die a virgin than pay to have sex.

It's not the idea that a woman's only worth is that she provides sex, but the extra that goes beyond sex (Such as the opportunity to hear your partner complaining about the dirty laundry sitting for a month) isn't worth the additional effort/money beyond that required of a prostitute, especially the additional effort/money in the case of an average male aspie (Particularly the "searching effort" part, since the ratio of disinterested/interested females is much higher since there's a greater level of interpersonal dissimilarity among the majority of the female population, among other complicating factors like lower-than-average self esteem and social confidence and the like.).

The average NT male does have to invest a lot of effort/money, too, but not nearly as much as the average male aspie and I think the "reward" for aspies is less, too (Relationships in general tend to be less rewarding?). So more effort and less reward for a relationship seems to make prostitution an exceedingly competitive option. (Except for the really horny, because that'd quickly get expensive.)

I have heard somewhere that when men pay for a prostitute, they don't just pay for the sex, they pay for the "uninvolvement". They are paid so that people can get what they want from them, and then they go away. Maybe that is just one take on it...or the take on it from people who pay prostitutes but not out of total necessity, but just because they like variety...I don't have sex with anyone I don't love. But maybe it is the nature of exchange that makes it feel prostitutish...

My "payment" is that I occasionally get the person's company...get the occasional opportunity to hang out in an environment that is not chaotic squallor...and watch cable tv..I don't make waves...I help him with chores...I make no demands and there is no "L" word...and I am only around once in a while...

I don't think I could visit a prostitute. First of all, it's illegal (because Texas law considers any sexual act outside of marriage and not for procreation to be "un-Christian"). Second of all, if I were to enter an actual relationship, a partner would want to know my sexual history, and many people consider a guy who has seen prostitutes (or watched porn, for that matter) to be a potential cheater.

I think I am slightly messed up in the head right now...scratch what I said about a mutual exchange without any obligations or demands blah blah prostitute blah blah...that is dumb....and plus his perspective in the thing os probably entirely different....I have done my best to be a "good" AS girlfriend...I just have "issues"

That's why don't call them a prostitute, you call them a "girlfriend"(for a night). People invented euphemisms for a reason.

It's probably been said already but...

Some people choose to be prostitutes but others are tricked/coerced into it and only stick with it for fear of reprisals if they try to escape.

Jus sayin.

this needs clarification as i cannot tell who you are comparing men and women to... each other? or one gender against itself? or NT vs. Aspie? i can tell you're making a massive generalisation, but i cannot tell what it is about.


you really have no evidence for this. not all aspies are alike, not all NTs are alike. and i don't remember seeing a detailed analysis of how much a man "invests" in a relationship, aspie/NT/otherwise.

how do you judge reward anyway? so many aspie men DO seek and enjoy romantic relationships and indeed benefit from them. i think you are projecting your own personal feelings (and the feelings of a handful of other men) onto an entire group.

it's not a "competitive" option if few men actually want to do it - for most men who have posted it's a last resort, not something that they particularly relish. even amongst the men on this thread who have visited prostitutes, a great deal of them are fully aware that it is a distant second choice to real relationship.

I noticed that the majority of females project their own desires of faithful, committed guys that immensely enjoy the "relationship itself" sans sex onto guys as a group, whereas the reality is kind of the opposite in that the majority of guys aren't really committed. Yes, there's a significant faction, but it's not quite the "everybody but a handful" that so many females wish.

But, just because I'm saying this doesn't mean I'm identifying with one group or the other, as I lack the experience to identify. I've personally just noticed that most females seem like they'd be a pain in the ass to be in a relationship with. But, you know, I haven't encountered many aspie females...

^^ w3r23ok5o3 35t3ekgke 3453 3 b blalbalblabla g3t3t 0,.....whatever...

Did you f**k a hooker already for Ba'al's sake or you'll just keep bumping this thread?

well, so many men seem to be quite happy in relationships, so i think there is very little projection going on. most men choose to marry, and it is more women than men that initiate divorce. so most men do seem reasonably happy with the idea of a committed relationship.


i think that your primary issue is really an interrnal one, but i'm not talking about having Asperger Syndrome... if you really believe that most women are that much trouble... it says a lot more about your own psychological and emotional state than it does about the women. you can try to find justification for your opinions, but at the end of the day... perhaps you have created a negative filter through which you are viewing all women because of your own bad experiences with one (or a small handful).

i have found it to be true that if you assume a group of people is not worth knowing, you will be proven right. really, you're creating your own reality.

Euphemisms are a form of distancing language plus it can be self-deception.
The phrase "girlfriend for a nite" can also be applied to one nite stands.

Yeah well, why would you share that particular detail (visiting prostitutes) anyway? I wouldn't. Porn seems more obvious to hide it though.

meh, I would replace "prostitutes" with "girlfriends", and that's about it, in that case it isn't self-deception, but "deception" towards your partner. I dunno, I think there are women who wouldn't care about that, but depending on the case, that should seem better. On the other hand, I have thought about stating that I'm a virgin, leading to the belief that I have never been with prostitutes.