I'm tired of this s**t!
John_Browning
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Joined: 22 Mar 2009
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,456
Location: The shooting range
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Have you ever tried any suggestions that people here have given you or do you expect the same old bitching you've done for months to suddenly start working for you? I even offered to help you find where to look for social services and you declined! What exactly do you expect to come from this thread???
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There's a lot of will in him.
I wish I could believe that.
There's a lot of willpower in you, you just haven't realized it yet, you are comparing yourself too much to people in Hollywood magazines and MTV music videos. You need to find acceptance for yourself and stop trying to live up to the expectations of the media.
I compare myself to regular people. You know people who graduate from HS with relative ease, date regularly by my age, as well as driving. People that have friends, can socialize, and are not slow. People that can take care of themselves. You know bathing daily, and living well on their own by my age. You know, simple stuff that comes to "regular" people naturally.
I never compare myself to people in Hollywood or whatever. The truth is that I can't even compare to a person I'd see in a store. It's just how pathetic of a human being I am.
I'm a loser, I'm off somewhat mentally, I'm slow and stupid, I'm poor, and I can't even complete some of the simplest tasks.
It's no wonder why people treat me the way they do. I'm probably not even deserving or worthy of being around them.
OliveOilMom
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Joined: 11 Nov 2011
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There's a lot of will in him.
I wish I could believe that.
Well, I don't know you, but the threads you make here and the way you act are strong indicators that you didn't give up. This is your way of dealing with problems and trying to solve them. It's a horribly unproductive way, but it does show you have an interest of improving your situation. The problem is, you don't do anything productive about it.
I am so so similar to you, MR20 (at least from what I can tell based on your writing). I had/have the same attitude. Passionately hate myself and crippled by my own laziness and inadequacy.
The only thing that has helped is medication. No advice ever helped. I dunno about insurance and Medicare or anything for payment, so you'll have to get that advice from someone else - but maybe you'll feel better on medication.
One thing is that tasks get easier when you don't feel so bad. A common side effect of depression is laziness and inability to concentrate. Now, I am not saying you will meet your ideals if you get on medication - I know I don't - but life and the problems are easier to deal with than before. Maybe you could even summon the motive to take the occasional bath! (I'm up to one a week!)
I'm on 200mg of Lamictal, and currently 30mg of Prozac, but I am still feeling bad so I will ask for more drugs at my next psychiatrist appointment. Some people look down on medication, but drugs are the only thing that have ever helped even slightly.
Think of it this way: you were born with a melancholy disposition. In addition, you are deficient in all valuable human attributes. So you are depressed, and fail alot - and you will probably be that way until you die. So, like a man slowly dying of painful disease, some medication might be helpful in easing your suffering. Except instead of a morphine drip, maybe you could take lots of anti-depressants and psychotropics.
Just some advice from my own experience. Maybe someone on this board can help get you to a psychiatrist and get the government to pay for your medication. It may be cheaper and less self-destructive than alcohol and other fun drugs.
Well whether my advice helps or not I hope you feel better! Since there is no free-will no one "deserves" any more or any less than someone else.
The only thing that has helped is medication. No advice ever helped. I dunno about insurance and Medicare or anything for payment, so you'll have to get that advice from someone else - but maybe you'll feel better on medication.
One thing is that tasks get easier when you don't feel so bad. A common side effect of depression is laziness and inability to concentrate. Now, I am not saying you will meet your ideals if you get on medication - I know I don't - but life and the problems are easier to deal with than before. Maybe you could even summon the motive to take the occasional bath! (I'm up to one a week!)
I'm on 200mg of Lamictal, and currently 30mg of Prozac, but I am still feeling bad so I will ask for more drugs at my next psychiatrist appointment. Some people look down on medication, but drugs are the only thing that have ever helped even slightly.
Think of it this way: you were born with a melancholy disposition. In addition, you are deficient in all valuable human attributes. So you are depressed, and fail alot - and you will probably be that way until you die. So, like a man slowly dying of painful disease, some medication might be helpful in easing your suffering. Except instead of a morphine drip, maybe you could take lots of anti-depressants and psychotropics.
Just some advice from my own experience. Maybe someone on this board can help get you to a psychiatrist and get the government to pay for your medication. It may be cheaper and less self-destructive than alcohol and other fun drugs.
Well whether my advice helps or not I hope you feel better! Since there is no free-will no one "deserves" any more or any less than someone else.
I've been reluctant to take medicine, but ATM it seems I'm running out of options. If it'll make me feel better, then why not I guess.
Ah I am glad to read I may have influenced you. Think of it as better living through chemistry. I'm not very bright myself, so I can't really help you get the medication. Maybe you should make a thread somewhere else on this board asking for advice on contacting a psychiatrist and the insurance stuff. Or maybe goolge it, or your caretaker could maybe help you. Maybe your regular health care physician could get you started.
Sorry I've got nothing better to offer you, but even if medication only makes you feel 10% better, that's still something right?
Good luck in easing your suffering and then working on your goals. We are all the pawns of fate, so maybe something good will happen in the future even if it is unforeseen.
I've been reluctant to take medicine, but ATM it seems I'm running out of options. If it'll make me feel better, then why not I guess.
I was against any medication for years, but recently i've started taking some and things are much better. I know personal anecdotes don't prove anything, but I can understand being totally against them. I promised myself (and my shrink) that i'd try them for 2 months, and if I didn't like them I could stop without him trying to convince me etc. and it was a good compromise and is working well so far.
It's not like you have anything to lose?
MR20, I have every sympathy with you and as far as im concerned everyone else should be giving you the same sympathy as what i do. People like you and me know what its like to be REAL aspie and never find a long-term girlfriend. There are too many faux-aspies and NT's flooding wrongplanet.net and this is the reason for so many unsympathetic replies.
Wow, that is so ignorant to say. Like we don`t have problems in our lives. We do but we dont go posting about it and make everyone that tries to help you look like a fool.
Also, you`re saying that a lot of people here fake being an aspie? Why would they do that? You say there are to much fake aspies and NT`s? And where is the problem in that?
Stop being ignorant, its not like you`re in some kind of special club. everyone has his s**t going on. By the way, did you read his other threads?
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spongy
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A couple of things:
-First: DSM is used to diagnose any mental condition. Ive read my copy of DSM-IV(came with tony attwod´s complete guide to aspergers syndrome) and neither of those things make a reference to the inability of finding a life partner(Attwood does suggest some difficulties but not an inability), can you please provide me a link to the DSM you are using that says that wether an a person has a relationship or not is determinant on their possible diagnosis of aspergers?
(Just so we are clear Im only half serious here because I know there isnt a DSM out there with that criteria and that criteria would make as much sense as your post which Im afraid to say is very little).
-Seconsly.Unsympathetic replies? please feel free to read through MR20´S history of posts and you´ll see that members tried to help him for the first threads but after it was clear he wasnt looking for any help members started being "unsympathetic"(suggesting that he needs to get some aspects of his life sorted out before lookinhg for a partner).
Theres a place for ranting and thats the haven(where everyon is expected to be sympathetic to each other) but if you post a thread elsewhere you have to face the fact that not everyone will agree with you.
-Third nobody is forcing you to use this website and if you have an issue with most members I suggest you try to find a more suitable website.
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You think that all the people who take time out of their lives (time that could be spent doing any one of a thousand more pleasurable things )to try to help with his problems don't feel sympathy for him? 'Cause that's the only reason I bother responding to his posts.
And there are too many people flooding wrongplanet who think that giving up on life and wallowing in self-pity is the only way to prove one's aspieness. As if such a thing needs to be proven to the likes of you anyway.
And "faux-aspies?" Come on, you think people really want this?
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If life's not beautiful without the pain,
well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again.
Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer.
And it feels pretty soft to me.
Modest Mouse - The View
I wish I could say you're being irrational, but you're not. You see your life for what it is and you are reacting to it. I'm 30 and I feel like i've been through everything you've described. There is no joy or happyness left in my life. Every day has been a major dissapointment. I went from college to losing my career and having to start all over again as a residential building superintendant in the worst possible inner-city dump the east coast has to offer cleaning up after disgusting tenants, bagging trash daily, and cleaning up sewage backups pretty regularly, . This last week alone has been hell. a girl i've been seeing on and off for years blocked my phone and my facebook from her because i told her that i'm tired of her standing me up 90% of the time we set up dates together. leaving me with absolutely no one but myself to talk to and think about. She has parents and siblings and friends and i have no one... just me. I feel so hurt... but i realize its probably a result of my own faults.
I see a very lonely future filled with misery and poverty ahead for me and I realize there's very little I can do about it.
At the end of the day it is what it is. I mean what do you tell people with cancer? how do you cheer them up? is there any way to cheer them up? Life has been very brutal to aspies and it probably will be for another hundred years or more... or until aspies get together and start helping eachother
and bytheway... i haven't showered since last week... I wonder how long before i get fired due to that... and then what? who knows... I fantasize about giving up all the time, many of us do... because life is just so plain unfair and painful to us it defeats all purpose
Faux-aspies? Because we have girl/boyfriends? Wow. Last I checked one's romantic status doesn't change a diagnosis. Also, I have plenty of problems in other areas. I obsess over things and worry way too much.
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