Do you find love when you stop looking? Why?

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They might not be female at all.

On topic:
Maybe people find love when they don't go looking for it because the emptiness that once created a void has been filled with something else, like a hobby or project or personal life goal. Perhaps a mix of all 3. At either rate, placing romance as a lower priority. People like opportunity, fulfilment. Someone who is or appears to be already whole can offer that. An empty person cannot.

Furthermore , I don't think potential partners like the idea that they alone are supposed to be the answer to anyone's prayers.
That's a lot of expectations to live up to, and can appear desperate.

(post edited for clarity).

Exactly--if I had encountered someone who thought they could only find happiness in a relationship when I was dating, I would have run in the other direction. What if you start dating them and they get attached to you and then you realise you're not compatible and you break up with them and then they get severely depressed or hurt/kill themselves and blame you? Who would willingly sign up for a risk like that (because it is a risk--it's practically impossible to know in advance which relationships will work in the long term and which won't)? You would feel so much pressure to make the relationship work and fear of leaving if it doesn't. I would be too afraid to date someone that fragile and dependent on me for their happiness, because I could never forgive myself if I left and they hurt themselves and blamed me.

It doesn't help that threatening suicide is something that abusive people do when their significant other that they are abusing tries to get away from them. And sometimes they threaten (or succeed) to take you with them. For example: California Woman Remains in Critical Condition After Being Taken Hostage By Ex-Boyfriend

Whether it is a fulfilled life or empty, I agree with the other user who said this advice is more tailored for women.

For a male, he has to initiate the approach in most of the cases, even at subconscious level and even if romance is not a priority in his life. Yes, an active life would create more opportunities for him, but if he literally stands still then he is likely to miss out all opportunities and won't find love - at the end, he has to talk to someone, he has to text/phone her at some point,, he has to ask her out at some point...otherwise nothing will happen.
Chances that a woman would initiate things with him, like kraftie the old and the wisest says, is something VERY rare in life to happen.

I don't think the person before you and after me said anything to that effect but ok.

I do agree that as guys we are by nature the initiators, but I don't see how having to initiate is linked to a constant lookout for a potential partner.

Because if you literally "stop looking for love" - then you wouldn't do anything that is considered looking: texting her? That's looking, asking her for a coffee? That's looking....the slightest romance interest is looking.

The only why for finding love after you stop looking is when someone else is looking for love, approaching you as a potential and pushing it in that direction.

I got into detail about this in another thread: viewtopic.php?t=308665

Unfortunately, I'm as complete as I can be right now - and still miserably lonely.

So, I won't stop looking for love, I'll never stop looking it I can simulataenously fulfill all other aspects of my life just fine regardless of if I'm looking or not.

I've had this argument with a female friend who told me I'd find someone if I stopped looking and I said what Boo said above, but I still think that if you are a woman you can't actually completely stop either otherwise you'll miss out on someone who is right in front of you due to being too lazy to lift a finger.

Even when you stumble across someone you fancy, what are you gonna do? Just stare at each other forever? Someone has to make a move.

If he asks out unexpectedly and he happens you like him, then we can say that you found love without even looking in prior.

But yeah...that happens only in movies, the typical guy often requires certain signs of interests from the girl before even gathering the courage for that, such gestures and signs from the girl can't be considered "not looking" from her part.

This advice is rubbish and cliché.

Why don't you spend time looking for intrinsic love rather, than some extrinsic love that can be easily torn away?

I think I've been taken too literally.