Friendzone

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@Hopper:


In many western countries, non-monogamy is increasingly common. Even though polygamy isn't legal in the UK that I know of, highly desirable men and women are often in "open relationships" where they are effectively polyamormous. The corollary you are presuming is that there must be 1-to-1 pairing between men and women. Increasing acceptance and prevalence of non-monogamy(as there is in my country) means that people can sleep with multiple people instead of being pressured by society to settle down with one partner.

In societies where polygamy is legal and widespread, like Saudi Arabia, you have a large percentage of the male population that has NO CHANCE of getting a woman because the high status men get all the women. Such a situation really *could* happen in the west if monogamy is completely abrogated. Yes as I ALREADY SAID BEFORE women DO ask men out but very few men get openly asked out IRL.

I wonder if things such as hookup culture might also come into play.

I'll have to find the source but I remember the rate of one'night stands and such in western countries is at an all-time-high among millenials.

Perhaps AR15000 is on the right track and that conflicting interests can influence your opportunity at a monogamous long-term relationship.

Perhaps you want to meet people for an LTR but only come across those interested in casual sex, nothing more.

Perhaps you go on a few dates with someone you met only to find out they want polygamy or an open-relationship or 'nothing serious' in general.

Even those I personally come across who want an LTR usually seem a little desperate, but perhaps that's only because my dating pool consists of other teenagers.

All over the teen dating sites and internet all I see is teens essentially saying 'need girlfriend plz message me, hit me up' etc. yet give absolutely no details of what kind of person they actually are and what type of person they're actually looking for.

Some females my age I've noticed might give 'the basics' (I just want a nice, sweet guy who likes me and we can cuddle on the sofa and just watch movies and lay in bed together type relationship) but otherwise even those interested in an LTR are either too thirsty/dependent sounding for their own good, or vague in the extra details.

Is this thing working at all?

Test test mctest.

Right...

Captcha loop-ate my edit. I'll try again later.

That happens to me too sometimes

I got so mad that lately for long posts I've been writing them in a word processor and then pasting them onto WP.

If you click the back button in your browser a lot a few times, you can often find your original post is still cached within the browser.

If you don't use quotes, dashes, hyphens, and it's less than about 15 lines long, your post won't be Captchured.

Yeah, I C+P every single post now and just paste everytime to spare myself the effort.

Funny story about Captcha - if you ever see me say 'DEATH TO CAPTCHA' in my posts, it's usually what gets me out of a captca loop.

I might have to go through capthca 10 times but as soon as I type 'DEATH TO CAPTCHA' it immediately gets through...

Even WP hates it so much it encourages open criticism of it, it seems.

I smile in amusement whenever I do type DEATH TO CAPTCHA because 90% of the time it'll get through the very first time.

Let's try this time.

DEATH TO CAPTCHA

EDIT: Yep. F*cking WORKED!! !!

Unfortunately, 'going long' is my thing. Gives me room to work through my thinking, as much for my benefit as anyone else's.

I've got to go and get on with my life for a bit now. I guess I'll try again later. Tried restarting browser, restarting laptop. I've got it saved on Wordpad, at least.

DEATH TO CAPTCHA didn't work.

Grrrr!

Yeah seems the longer the post the longer and more tries it takes and I can also put a lot of detail think the longest had to be at least 20 times but I stuck through.

Possibly one of the longest messages ive ever sent on the site so fair enough.

Still though im sure we all hate it I wonder who actualy put it on here as its pointless and bots still get through all the time.

Doesnt matter if it was alex or a mod they should have saw by now that it's not only useless but largely unpopular and honestly if the mod is as bad at programming a good captcha as they at running other parts of the site they should be sacked...hopefully they compensate for their service to the site in other ways.

Anyway off-topic but I ignored a llot of the big debates the grew so I'll have to get back to them before getting back on tpoc to contribute.

Still, no one has much to say on me and AR's view that perhaps it's just conflicting interests than can stand in the way?

From my perspective I tend to not be interested in messaging teens my age on dating sites because they stink of desperation and other then their profile give no detials of what kind of person they are (and in fact many are completely or near empty profiles) and not what they want out of a relationship.

It seems teens are far too apathetic about their dating life and just simply want to 'chat' with someone.

Something i've never understood seems the popular consenous is just 'chatting' with others and making small talk to make friends with relationship coming in second place. A lot of the teen girls essentially say they're looking for 'friends, that could possibly lead to something more.'

Can't wait to be 18 so I can leave the kiddies behind and get on an adult site. A site where people actually take the time to work on their profile and make it as detailed and polished as their resume.

What's funny is how they say women aren't interested in men who are 'just nice guys' as it's a 'basic' trait that anyone can have and you deserve no reward 'just for being nice'.

Honestly I can now see what they mean. I am not attracted to almost transparent females with little to no personality who essentially jus say 'I'm a nice girl, like hanging out with friends, like listening to music, and just want a nice, sweet guy who loves and cares about me and just a guy happy with just sitting on the couch/culdding/watching movies in bed together'. Like my god, that's just generic.

EDIT: Didn't even have to SAY death to captcha, just to think it in the back of my mind and it worked! Today must be my lucky day! And in case my luck is about to run out,

DEATH TO CAPTCHA

AR15000 - I wrote a medium length post in response this morning. It posted. I then went to edit it, to clarify something, and Captcha wouldn't let me. It kept looping round to 'edit your post'. So I deleted the post and copy-pasted the edited version into a new one. I haven't been able to get that to post. Captcha seems to have stopped working for me at all now - I get an error message rather than an image and box.

I'll respond properly in time - probably try a more succint rewrite. Right now I'm too annoyed.

Chatting with someone is an ineffective and inefficient way to get to know them, because:

(1) If done on-line, you don't get to see their physical reactions to your questions. You may never see their laughter, their eye rolls, or any gestures or expressions they may produce in reaction to what you have to say. They may also be of the opposite of their declared gender, a completely different age, or heavily married when they've told you they were single.

(2) If done in person, you won't get to know them unless they're in a stressful situation. One measure of a person's character is how they react to surprises, accidents, threats, crowds, crying babies, rush-hour traffic, a flat tire ... et cetera.

(3) Either way, you will only know what they tell you; and if they tell you a lie, you may never know it until it's too late.

Yeah, the chat platform is a poor way to get to know someone, fully. Even taking to someone on the phone isn't an effective way to gauge whether you will have a good chemistry and rapport with an individual. I speak from experience.