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Romantic loneliness in men

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Bataar
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31 May 2016, 5:05 pm

Amity wrote:
Bataar wrote:
I'm 37 and have never had any kind of romantic relationship. I wasn't diagnosed with Aspergers until I was 28 and had never even heard of it prior to that so growing up, I had no idea why I was the way I was. I always thought I'd grow out of it. I've never had more than a couple of friends at any given time and have never been a part of a group of friends. I've always been frustrated around some holidays because the friends I do/did have would have a group of friends. So a holiday is coming up and I ask Friend A if he wants to get together and he says he can't because he has plans with his big group of friends, so I ask Friend B and he has the same situation so I'm left alone. I don't really have any friends right now, so my life consists of coming home from work and staying home and watching TV until I go to bed. On Fridays, I go to my brother's after work where we just watch TV or a movie at his place. Not much, but at least it's someone I can talk to.

Its good that you have a brother that you get on well with, though it doesn't leave much scope for romance. Joining a class on an interest topic might help you to connect with more people, and you would have something in common.

I've thought about that, but haven't been able to come up with a subject/topic I've wanted to take class on. A couple of years ago, I signed up for a photography class and was really looking forward to it. But it got canceled due to not enough people signing up. I don't have access to a decent camera anymore so that class is a no go. Typically, my interests are pretty much male centric.



314pe
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01 Jun 2016, 12:06 am

Bataar wrote:
I've thought about that, but haven't been able to come up with a subject/topic I've wanted to take class on. A couple of years ago, I signed up for a photography class and was really looking forward to it. But it got canceled due to not enough people signing up. I don't have access to a decent camera anymore so that class is a no go. Typically, my interests are pretty much male centric.

What are your interests? Maybe we'll think of something.



marshall
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01 Jun 2016, 12:08 pm

androbot01 wrote:
No reason to write them off though. I have been on the same dose of anti-depressants, etc for over two years. I have not had to increase the dose and they still work. They may not work for everyone, but that's no reason not to bother seeing if they do.

If you've only been on an antidepressant for 2 years you're a still newbie. My first anti-depressant stopped working after 8 years or so. At that point I felt worse than I ever did. My psychiatrist then added more and more different types of drugs on top of the SSRI and all I got were horrible side effects. I was nauseous at times and at felt like crawling out of my own skin at other times. I eventually had to slowly get off everything until the side effects subsided. They don't always work for life.



androbot01
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01 Jun 2016, 1:03 pm

marshall wrote:
androbot01 wrote:
No reason to write them off though. I have been on the same dose of anti-depressants, etc for over two years. I have not had to increase the dose and they still work. They may not work for everyone, but that's no reason not to bother seeing if they do.

If you've only been on an antidepressant for 2 years you're a still newbie. My first anti-depressant stopped working after 8 years or so. At that point I felt worse than I ever did. My psychiatrist then added more and more different types of drugs on top of the SSRI and all I got were horrible side effects. I was nauseous at times and at felt like crawling out of my own skin at other times. I eventually had to slowly get off everything until the side effects subsided. They don't always work for life.

Well, I started with Prozac back in the '90s. It helped, but the ones available today are much better. I should say that it's drugs like Seroquel and Abilify that have made a real difference for me. I still take Effexor for depression, but the other two help to combat symptoms such as black/white thinking, paranoia, and even ToM deficiencies.



Bataar
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01 Jun 2016, 1:26 pm

314pe wrote:
Bataar wrote:
I've thought about that, but haven't been able to come up with a subject/topic I've wanted to take class on. A couple of years ago, I signed up for a photography class and was really looking forward to it. But it got canceled due to not enough people signing up. I don't have access to a decent camera anymore so that class is a no go. Typically, my interests are pretty much male centric.

What are your interests? Maybe we'll think of something.

My main ones are strategy board/card games, fishing, watching movies, watching TV, smoking cigars (occasionally) and walking my dog.



Amity
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01 Jun 2016, 6:17 pm

Bataar wrote:
314pe wrote:
Bataar wrote:
I've thought about that, but haven't been able to come up with a subject/topic I've wanted to take class on. A couple of years ago, I signed up for a photography class and was really looking forward to it. But it got canceled due to not enough people signing up. I don't have access to a decent camera anymore so that class is a no go. Typically, my interests are pretty much male centric.

What are your interests? Maybe we'll think of something.

My main ones are strategy board/card games, fishing, watching movies, watching TV, smoking cigars (occasionally) and walking my dog.

What type of dog Bataar? Dogs are a great talking point. Grooming classes, obedience or agility courses? They should have at least a gender mix. Any dog parks nearby?



Bataar
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02 Jun 2016, 10:41 am

Amity wrote:
Bataar wrote:
314pe wrote:
Bataar wrote:
I've thought about that, but haven't been able to come up with a subject/topic I've wanted to take class on. A couple of years ago, I signed up for a photography class and was really looking forward to it. But it got canceled due to not enough people signing up. I don't have access to a decent camera anymore so that class is a no go. Typically, my interests are pretty much male centric.

What are your interests? Maybe we'll think of something.

My main ones are strategy board/card games, fishing, watching movies, watching TV, smoking cigars (occasionally) and walking my dog.

What type of dog Bataar? Dogs are a great talking point. Grooming classes, obedience or agility courses? They should have at least a gender mix. Any dog parks nearby?

He's an old dog who doesn't need obedience classes, because of his age, I don't know how he'd handle agility courses, if there are even any around here (I've honestly never looked). I take him for walks at a local beach park on a leash. Again, I do this by myself as I don't really know anyone to invite. You'd think it would be a good way to meet other people there, but it's really not. Most people are either in groups, look way too young, or are there by themselves just to exercise. They'll be running/jogging/biking with headphones on.



Beau
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02 Jun 2016, 9:54 pm

Bataar wrote:
My main ones are strategy board/card games, fishing, watching movies, watching TV, smoking cigars (occasionally) and walking my dog.


Too bad I don't live in WA; otherwise, I'd play games and go fishing with you.


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