Can Men And Women Just Be Friends?

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Makes no sense to me. It seems to imply that you must meet with dating, and that matching interests is a must.



Makes no sense either. People that easily get infatuated must avoid situations that easily lead to non-mutual infatuation, which is typically dating or trying to befriend somebody they like in the romantic sense. No reality check will fix that.



I will simply disagree to that.

If I "put someone on a pedestal," I'd have to TALK to the person, not observe this person from afar. If nothing comes from "talking" so this person, so be it. It just wasn't "meant to be." But the attempt must be made.

I used to do the "admiring the person from afar" thing. It only bought sorrow, and obsessive feelings.

It's better to really get to know the person, so that one could obtain a really decent idea as to the actualities of that person.

I do agree that men/women sometimes put the object of their crushes on a pedestal.

Obsessive feelings make you high.



No, once you know somebody it becomes boring routine. You can never bring back the obsessive state again once you have left it. Therefore, you should extend it as much as possible by going as slow as possible.

I think we covered this before. You get positive feeling from unrequited love interests. This is quite unusual.

Good for you, but this is not something many people relate to. Mostly those feels aren't something pleasant overall. Yes there might be fantasies, where you get positive feeling from however the more reality dawns the less positive the experience is, especially if you can't get over the obsession. Unless you become emotionally numb.

On the other hand for you it is ideal, as you can sit back an enjoy the ride. It is just isn't like that for a lot of people.

My answer : Yes.

There is no theory of everything, even for the human psyche. The ladder theory does not explain everything that goes on here in this world. It is a false assumption that acting like a douche will attract more ladies. I only find about 1% of the woman super attractive. 10~15% are 'meh, i can have sex with them but no feelings and the rest have the attractiveness like a potatoe to me. I believe men and woman behave very similar in this. The way you look instantly places you in one of those categories.

I think the ladder theory states something that is observed in human behaviour, but makes the assumption that all men only want to have sex with every woman, unless he is simply not attracted to a woman or if the person is gay. The ladder theory makes it sound like the unattracted cases dont happen that often, but it is much more likely to happen than finding a woman attractive.

I dont see myself walking in a super market, staring in a pervert way at every woman i see because all i think about is sex. 99% of them are simply invisible to me.

Most of my friends have been of the opposite sex, and i have never had feelings for them. Sadly, nerds and people in select few categories who have a disrupted social communication skill tend to believe the ladder theory and see it as their bible. Those are the ones who pay thousands of euro's or dollars on pickup artists advice.

Never said that. Rather, I've had ONE case of unrequited love early in high school, and it was unpleasant, but it teached me how to not do it. The rest of them were mutual and highly enjoyable.



Not so. The observation method is a safe method that practically never leads to unrequited love. That's because it builds up feelings slowly and through some effort from both parties to meet regularly. Therefore, if it lasts for a while, then it will build an obsession, but that only happens if it is mutual. If the other party is not interested, there will be no game and no feelings.

Dating is completely different. It overloads the emotional system and quickstarts a fast attachment process which often goes unrequited because a majority of dating never leads anywhere. Befriending somebody you like is even worse, and almost always leads to unrequited love that is very hard to get over.

Yes, it is possible. Virtually all my friends are female. I enjoy talking with females much more than men. With females there's no social competition for whatever, and females are better at expressing themselves. Obviously those are stereotypes but they do tend to hold true in my experience.

Yes, had 3 good female friends earlier, one had AS and told me to get a diagnosis.

Yes, I have had several female friends. Relationship/physicality was never an issue.

I've had a couple of female friends. One before I understood reciprocal friendship properly and one since. Others who I'm friendly with.

Yes, but it doesn't continue after the girl gets married. She (the female friend) usually drops communications just after she ties the knot.

At least this was my experience.