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Why are women so triggered by the friendzone?

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SilverBoltsisWmax
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15 Sep 2017, 1:59 pm

hurtloam wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
And this is the divide. If a man drops the cup it's his fault he will pay for it first response. If a female it's not the same. This divide in thinking is the best way to explain it.

You dropped the cup. Yes startle makes YOU drop the cup, yes he played a part in it by being there in person to startle you because you didn't know he was there. But YOU dropped the cup.

This has NOTHING to do with cheating at all. This is about accountability something women struggle with at its core. YOU dropped the cup.


There are an absolute ton of posts on this forum from men blaming women for how they behave. This forum in itself counters your hypothesis.


Focus. This isn't about others. Can you take responsibility for dropping the cup?


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RandomFox
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15 Sep 2017, 2:14 pm

I really don't understand what's so horrible about the friendzone.
I was friendzoned a few times and two of those times were the beginning of good, solid friendships.
I value friendships as high as romantic relationships, so it wasn't a problem at all.



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15 Sep 2017, 2:19 pm

RandomFox wrote:
I really don't understand what's so horrible about the friendzone.
I was friendzoned a few times and two of those times were the beginning of good, solid friendships.
I value friendships as high as romantic relationships, so it wasn't a problem at all.


The two friendzones I had were not of mutual interaction but parasitic; I was just too much of a sucker to see that I was being exploited. They didn't lead to lasting friendships but ones that left me dry and used up.



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15 Sep 2017, 2:21 pm

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hurtloam
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15 Sep 2017, 2:24 pm

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
And this is the divide. If a man drops the cup it's his fault he will pay for it first response. If a female it's not the same. This divide in thinking is the best way to explain it.

You dropped the cup. Yes startle makes YOU drop the cup, yes he played a part in it by being there in person to startle you because you didn't know he was there. But YOU dropped the cup.

This has NOTHING to do with cheating at all. This is about accountability something women struggle with at its core. YOU dropped the cup.


There are an absolute ton of posts on this forum from men blaming women for how they behave. This forum in itself counters your hypothesis.


Focus. This isn't about others. Can you take responsibility for dropping the cup?


It's an accident. No one is responsible.



SilverBoltsisWmax
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15 Sep 2017, 2:25 pm

RandomFox wrote:
I really don't understand what's so horrible about the friendzone.
I was friendzoned a few times and two of those times were the beginning of good, solid friendships.
I value friendships as high as romantic relationships, so it wasn't a problem at all.


Real friendships, are extremely valuable. I have one in my life with a girl who I know I'm "friendzoned" with. But we both have talked and she knows why I'm friendzoned and I allow myself to be friendzoned. That's the part people cant accept.

If you are friendzoned with someone its because you are allowing yourself to be there due to your actions or inaction or circumstances that you have zero control over.

People can't say this, people can't be honest about this especially women when it comes to this and it's why there is so much frustration.

Example. Girl says "Just be yourself and someone right will come along." = BS sometimes
What girl should say. "Strive to be the best version of yourself and someone will show up."

Point one holds no accountability for the person and leaves their situation up to fate or the straws they drew in life. Point two puts the person responsible for what happens to them and gives them something to WORK towards and for.


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SilverBoltsisWmax
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15 Sep 2017, 2:26 pm

hurtloam wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
And this is the divide. If a man drops the cup it's his fault he will pay for it first response. If a female it's not the same. This divide in thinking is the best way to explain it.

You dropped the cup. Yes startle makes YOU drop the cup, yes he played a part in it by being there in person to startle you because you didn't know he was there. But YOU dropped the cup.

This has NOTHING to do with cheating at all. This is about accountability something women struggle with at its core. YOU dropped the cup.


There are an absolute ton of posts on this forum from men blaming women for how they behave. This forum in itself counters your hypothesis.


Focus. This isn't about others. Can you take responsibility for dropping the cup?


It's an accident. No one is responsible.


And that's why women struggle with accountability. You dropped the cup, it doesn't matter if it was an accident you dropped the cup. lol


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15 Sep 2017, 2:27 pm

And to add: don't APPEAR desperate, even if you happen to be......You're dead in the water if you appear desperate....



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15 Sep 2017, 2:34 pm

RandomFox wrote:
I really don't understand what's so horrible about the friendzone.
I was friendzoned a few times and two of those times were the beginning of good, solid friendships.
I value friendships as high as romantic relationships, so it wasn't a problem at all.


I struggle being friends with people in general, let alone men I have feelings for. Having feelings for them adds an extra dimension of awkwardness to social interaction.



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15 Sep 2017, 2:36 pm

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
And this is the divide. If a man drops the cup it's his fault he will pay for it first response. If a female it's not the same. This divide in thinking is the best way to explain it.

You dropped the cup. Yes startle makes YOU drop the cup, yes he played a part in it by being there in person to startle you because you didn't know he was there. But YOU dropped the cup.

This has NOTHING to do with cheating at all. This is about accountability something women struggle with at its core. YOU dropped the cup.


There are an absolute ton of posts on this forum from men blaming women for how they behave. This forum in itself counters your hypothesis.


Focus. This isn't about others. Can you take responsibility for dropping the cup?


It's an accident. No one is responsible.


And that's why women struggle with accountability. You dropped the cup, it doesn't matter if it was an accident you dropped the cup. lol


Yes I dropped the cup. It fell from my hand. But it was an accident. No one is at fault. Not me, not the man who startled me.

If the cup had been in his hand and he dropped it, it would still have been an accident and I wouldn't say it was his fault. It was still an accident.

This is a weird conversation. I can't believe this is what my Friday nights have come to.
8O 8O 8O 8O



SilverBoltsisWmax
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15 Sep 2017, 2:37 pm

hurtloam wrote:
RandomFox wrote:
I really don't understand what's so horrible about the friendzone.
I was friendzoned a few times and two of those times were the beginning of good, solid friendships.
I value friendships as high as romantic relationships, so it wasn't a problem at all.


I struggle being friends with people in general, let alone men I have feelings for. Having feelings for them adds an extra dimension of awkwardness to social interaction.


It really doesn't. And having feelings for anyone isn't akward as long as you can make sense of what they are. If you like a guy, and he's not a redpill man, nor a man who has game, or an agenda that you have no business liking in the first place then tell him you like him. No man finds it unattractive when a girl is honest with him unless they fit in the above category. I tell my friends this all the f*****g time and they never listen. Then when they do it to one of the above they get mad at me saying it didn't work out because he found that unattractive.


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SilverBoltsisWmax
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15 Sep 2017, 2:37 pm

hurtloam wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
And this is the divide. If a man drops the cup it's his fault he will pay for it first response. If a female it's not the same. This divide in thinking is the best way to explain it.

You dropped the cup. Yes startle makes YOU drop the cup, yes he played a part in it by being there in person to startle you because you didn't know he was there. But YOU dropped the cup.

This has NOTHING to do with cheating at all. This is about accountability something women struggle with at its core. YOU dropped the cup.


There are an absolute ton of posts on this forum from men blaming women for how they behave. This forum in itself counters your hypothesis.


Focus. This isn't about others. Can you take responsibility for dropping the cup?


It's an accident. No one is responsible.


And that's why women struggle with accountability. You dropped the cup, it doesn't matter if it was an accident you dropped the cup. lol


Yes I dropped the cup. It fell from my hand. But it was an accident. No one is at fault. Not me, not the man who startled me.

If the cup had been in his hand and he dropped it, it would still have been an accident and I wouldn't say it was his fault. It was still an accident.

This is a weird conversation. I can't believe this is what my Friday nights have come to.
8O 8O 8O 8O


ok ill try this one instead have you ever heard about the four stages of a woman cheating?


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15 Sep 2017, 2:39 pm

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15 Sep 2017, 2:40 pm

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
That's a stupid analogy he did startle her. She wouldn't have dropped the cup if he hadn't been there.

She didn't drop the cup deliberately. She had no control over dropping the cup. It's what happens when you're startled.


Yup, I believe it is called the startle reflex...lol men cannot control it any better than women.


Or does he mean that cheating is as innate as the startle reflex?


I am really not sure where he was trying to go with that to be honest. Lol also don't understand what is so hard about seeing women as individuals for some people on this forum of autistic individuals. Yes there are female stereotypes, yes there are females who fit a lot of them doesn't mean women who don't fit a given stereotype are mythical creatures that don't exist.

But hey if all the stereotypes about women are true for all women and any women who says she doesn't fit a stereotype is in 'denial' I wonder if that means all the stereotypes about men are true and any man claiming differently is in denial as well. I mean sure I will stop complaining when people express this mentality about women, If men here stop complaining and denying they fit generalizations made about men.


....Men cheat all the f*****g time. But when they do they know they f****d up they deal with that gult and the consequences. No one pushed them to cheat, they cheated their fault. It's not about women being genrealized as bad. It's about women having issues with true accountability for their actions, for them being unable to see that they are human and can actually f**k up and it be there fault. Women say I would never cheat, then they cheat and say he made me feel special.

That doesn't matter how he made you feel. Because cheating is wrong and you did it. At some point this clicks when I have these discussions with girls. I know it will too for you.


Well I have to say cheating isn't something I have given much thinking to. For one I am in a good relationship with my boyfriend and care deeply for him and there is no dissatisfaction in the relationship.

I have dated various guys, and have never cheated or wanted to thus far even when things were questionable then I just considered breaking it off so I could find someone better but not getting with someone without breaking up first.

The thought of some guy other than my boyfriend trying to get romantically close to me, makes me very angry the thought doesn't make me feel special whatsoever. Who are they to decide my relationship is something that can just be tossed into the garbage just like that?


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15 Sep 2017, 2:41 pm

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
RandomFox wrote:
I really don't understand what's so horrible about the friendzone.
I was friendzoned a few times and two of those times were the beginning of good, solid friendships.
I value friendships as high as romantic relationships, so it wasn't a problem at all.


Real friendships, are extremely valuable. I have one in my life with a girl who I know I'm "friendzoned" with. But we both have talked and she knows why I'm friendzoned and I allow myself to be friendzoned. That's the part people cant accept.

If you are friendzoned with someone its because you are allowing yourself to be there due to your actions or inaction or circumstances that you have zero control over.

People can't say this, people can't be honest about this especially women when it comes to this and it's why there is so much frustration.

Example. Girl says "Just be yourself and someone right will come along." = BS sometimes
What girl should say. "Strive to be the best version of yourself and someone will show up."

Point one holds no accountability for the person and leaves their situation up to fate or the straws they drew in life. Point two puts the person responsible for what happens to them and gives them something to WORK towards and for.


Your view of men and women is so skewed. I'm done I give up you are beyond redemption.

Men have been known to say "just be yourself". It's not just women who say things like that. It's an NT type platitude. They don't actually know what to say and can't be bothered to think of something useful because they're not that bothered so they give it'll be ok type statements. Men and women do this.

You'll surely find that women often give loads and loads of advice on what exactly is wrong with you and how to improve it. I and my other female friends find that with advice from other women.



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15 Sep 2017, 2:43 pm

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
And this is the divide. If a man drops the cup it's his fault he will pay for it first response. If a female it's not the same. This divide in thinking is the best way to explain it.

You dropped the cup. Yes startle makes YOU drop the cup, yes he played a part in it by being there in person to startle you because you didn't know he was there. But YOU dropped the cup.

This has NOTHING to do with cheating at all. This is about accountability something women struggle with at its core. YOU dropped the cup.


There are an absolute ton of posts on this forum from men blaming women for how they behave. This forum in itself counters your hypothesis.


Focus. This isn't about others. Can you take responsibility for dropping the cup?


It's an accident. No one is responsible.


And that's why women struggle with accountability. You dropped the cup, it doesn't matter if it was an accident you dropped the cup. lol


Yes I dropped the cup. It fell from my hand. But it was an accident. No one is at fault. Not me, not the man who startled me.

If the cup had been in his hand and he dropped it, it would still have been an accident and I wouldn't say it was his fault. It was still an accident.

This is a weird conversation. I can't believe this is what my Friday nights have come to.
8O 8O 8O 8O


ok ill try this one instead have you ever heard about the four stages of a woman cheating?


Ah ha! I knew this was about people cheating!

People rationalise their actions. It's a fact I can't deny. People like to think they are in the right. It's universal. No one likes to be wrong. Men and women like to justify their actions. It's not just a female thing.