02 Jan 2018, 6:53 pm
03 Jan 2018, 12:53 am
03 Jan 2018, 12:54 am
DW_a_mom wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I remember now that my therapist telling me that the whole constant wishing and hoping for a girlfriend is no different than how I used to constantly pray to God to show me what my "plan" was; I would also just sit around and wait for the "plan" to happen but it never did.
You will have to think about it and decide, but your therapist may have a point. Sometimes we focus on something as a way of avoiding unpleasant and difficult tasks. It's easier to dream and obsess than do the work to make changes in your life. Sometimes we know exactly what we need to do but the tasks to get there are so daunting we will subconsciously find all sorts of reasons to not start.
I think it would be worth your while to do the work it will take to make the difficult change of moving.
Unfortunately, I might lose my therapy soon.
03 Jan 2018, 4:22 am
hale_bopp wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Machine Man wrote:
You are out of your gourd, Sly. Virtually everything you said was wrong. I cannot begin to describe how wrong you are because every individual aspect of what you said is just as wrong as your entire worldview. This is fractal wrongness.
Then how about putting the girlfriend issue aside for now and focusing on getting money and recources to move and then start the search for a partner again in the new location?
How exactly am I misinterpreting that?
If he can’t get the money and resources to move then his search for a gf will be permanently on hold.
The original reply is to fireblsoom so I don’t even get why your replying to me over what someone else lose said.
Just so we're clear: I have not told Markins to give up at any point, I suggested he puts the issue aside until a few other things have been fixed. If Markins was completely unable to fix those things and I knew that, then what I said would've been equal to telling him to give up.
Also, Markins has answered the question and his answer was that he doesn't think it to be impossible even though it'll be hard. So when it comes to him, I consider my advice to be valid. If those things are completely impossible for you then the advice would be invalid had I given it to you, but the thing is that I didn't. I gave the advice to Markins who it might actually work for.
In the past, people would tell me, usually in harsh tones, things like "You don't need a girlfriend!" or even "Girls are trouble!" but it was usually by people already in relationships so that always made me more upset, especially when the depression was truly kicking in. The latter was also a reflection of how sexist the Bible Belt really is and how a lot of men here don't really like women except for sex. They distorted my outlook and made me fearful I would have to become what I didn't want to be. Some would say similar things like what you just told me or to work on myself but my mind always took it wrong before now.
These people sound like 50+ women.
Excuse
me, I'm a 50+ woman, and I don't speak that way. That I know of.
Last edited by DW_a_mom on 03 Jan 2018, 4:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
03 Jan 2018, 4:27 am
Marknis wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I remember now that my therapist telling me that the whole constant wishing and hoping for a girlfriend is no different than how I used to constantly pray to God to show me what my "plan" was; I would also just sit around and wait for the "plan" to happen but it never did.
You will have to think about it and decide, but your therapist may have a point. Sometimes we focus on something as a way of avoiding unpleasant and difficult tasks. It's easier to dream and obsess than do the work to make changes in your life. Sometimes we know exactly what we need to do but the tasks to get there are so daunting we will subconsciously find all sorts of reasons to not start.
I think it would be worth your while to do the work it will take to make the difficult change of moving.
Unfortunately, I might lose my therapy soon.
I hope not.
But if you need us to try and fill in the gaps, let us know. You can send me a pm if you ever want to make sure I see a question or concern specifically, since I'm not on here regularly.
Until then, think about the suggestions I've made.
03 Jan 2018, 11:48 am
DW_a_mom wrote:
Marknis wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I remember now that my therapist telling me that the whole constant wishing and hoping for a girlfriend is no different than how I used to constantly pray to God to show me what my "plan" was; I would also just sit around and wait for the "plan" to happen but it never did.
You will have to think about it and decide, but your therapist may have a point. Sometimes we focus on something as a way of avoiding unpleasant and difficult tasks. It's easier to dream and obsess than do the work to make changes in your life. Sometimes we know exactly what we need to do but the tasks to get there are so daunting we will subconsciously find all sorts of reasons to not start.
I think it would be worth your while to do the work it will take to make the difficult change of moving.
Unfortunately, I might lose my therapy soon.
I hope not.
But if you need us to try and fill in the gaps, let us know. You can send me a pm if you ever want to make sure I see a question or concern specifically, since I'm not on here regularly.
Until then, think about the suggestions I've made.
I didn't think 2018 was going to start off smoothly but I didn't expect it to be this bad.
I feel more and more hopeless.
04 Jan 2018, 1:42 am
Marknis wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
Marknis wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I remember now that my therapist telling me that the whole constant wishing and hoping for a girlfriend is no different than how I used to constantly pray to God to show me what my "plan" was; I would also just sit around and wait for the "plan" to happen but it never did.
You will have to think about it and decide, but your therapist may have a point. Sometimes we focus on something as a way of avoiding unpleasant and difficult tasks. It's easier to dream and obsess than do the work to make changes in your life. Sometimes we know exactly what we need to do but the tasks to get there are so daunting we will subconsciously find all sorts of reasons to not start.
I think it would be worth your while to do the work it will take to make the difficult change of moving.
Unfortunately, I might lose my therapy soon.
I hope not.
But if you need us to try and fill in the gaps, let us know. You can send me a pm if you ever want to make sure I see a question or concern specifically, since I'm not on here regularly.
Until then, think about the suggestions I've made.
I didn't think 2018 was going to start off smoothly but I didn't expect it to be this bad.
I feel more and more hopeless.I am really, really sorry to read this. Life goes up and down, and I hope it will turn to the up soon. I can't really say more because I don't know the specifics of everything that is going on with you, but I do wish you the best. That doesn't mean there won't be negatives, but there should be enough balance for you to feel you can handle it all, and for you to feel you have the ability to affect positive changes when you most want them. You deserve for life to be good. Believe that.
04 Jan 2018, 11:36 am
DW_a_mom wrote:
Marknis wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
Marknis wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I remember now that my therapist telling me that the whole constant wishing and hoping for a girlfriend is no different than how I used to constantly pray to God to show me what my "plan" was; I would also just sit around and wait for the "plan" to happen but it never did.
You will have to think about it and decide, but your therapist may have a point. Sometimes we focus on something as a way of avoiding unpleasant and difficult tasks. It's easier to dream and obsess than do the work to make changes in your life. Sometimes we know exactly what we need to do but the tasks to get there are so daunting we will subconsciously find all sorts of reasons to not start.
I think it would be worth your while to do the work it will take to make the difficult change of moving.
Unfortunately, I might lose my therapy soon.
I hope not.
But if you need us to try and fill in the gaps, let us know. You can send me a pm if you ever want to make sure I see a question or concern specifically, since I'm not on here regularly.
Until then, think about the suggestions I've made.
I didn't think 2018 was going to start off smoothly but I didn't expect it to be this bad.
I feel more and more hopeless.I am really, really sorry to read this. Life goes up and down, and I hope it will turn to the up soon. I can't really say more because I don't know the specifics of everything that is going on with you, but I do wish you the best. That doesn't mean there won't be negatives, but there should be enough balance for you to feel you can handle it all, and for you to feel you have the ability to affect positive changes when you most want them. You deserve for life to be good. Believe that.
It's felt like a perpetual down since the end of 2005. I started to become clinically depressed during that time and it's lasted since then. I realized God's "plan" was not happening and that other guys were getting girlfriends as well as carving out their niches while I didn't even date and nothing was going my way at all. It didn't help that my older brother wasn't nice to me, my father cared more about his mistresses than his children, society was (and still is) pushing me to conform, and everyone else was moving forward while I was stuck.
04 Jan 2018, 7:13 pm
04 Jan 2018, 7:59 pm
I hope everyone here gets a chance to have a woman of their own to abuse. It's only fair!
04 Jan 2018, 8:30 pm
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
I hope everyone here gets a chance to have a woman of their own to abuse. It's only fair!
What the hell? Where did I ever once advocate abuse of any kind in this thread or anywhere on this forum for that matter? The point of my thread is that I don't like how men in the culture I live in are pushed to become aggressive jerks and I hate how some women in the Bible Belt actually have told me they hate "nice guys". I see so much confusing messages in my daily life and trying to be authentic is a struggle because of backwards social expectations.
04 Jan 2018, 8:43 pm
Marknis wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
I hope everyone here gets a chance to have a woman of their own to abuse. It's only fair!
What the hell? Where did I ever once advocate abuse of any kind in this thread or anywhere on this forum for that matter? The point of my thread is that I don't like how men in the culture I live in are pushed to become aggressive jerks and I hate how some women in the Bible Belt actually have told me they hate "nice guys". I see so much confusing messages in my daily life and trying to be authentic is a struggle because of backwards social expectations.
If you want to know what my comment pertains to, look at the comment before it.
04 Jan 2018, 8:58 pm
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Marknis wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
I hope everyone here gets a chance to have a woman of their own to abuse. It's only fair!
What the hell? Where did I ever once advocate abuse of any kind in this thread or anywhere on this forum for that matter? The point of my thread is that I don't like how men in the culture I live in are pushed to become aggressive jerks and I hate how some women in the Bible Belt actually have told me they hate "nice guys". I see so much confusing messages in my daily life and trying to be authentic is a struggle because of backwards social expectations.
If you want to know what my comment pertains to, look at the comment before it.
When you said "everyone here", I thought you were saying everyone who posted in this thread.
I've been under a lot of stress with the new year starting off badly because my therapist told me our sessions might get axed because the state thinks I am not worthy of therapy. A part of me was hoping that this year was going to be better than last year but I fear it won't.
04 Jan 2018, 10:45 pm
Marknis wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Marknis wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
I hope everyone here gets a chance to have a woman of their own to abuse. It's only fair!
What the hell? Where did I ever once advocate abuse of any kind in this thread or anywhere on this forum for that matter? The point of my thread is that I don't like how men in the culture I live in are pushed to become aggressive jerks and I hate how some women in the Bible Belt actually have told me they hate "nice guys". I see so much confusing messages in my daily life and trying to be authentic is a struggle because of backwards social expectations.
If you want to know what my comment pertains to, look at the comment before it.
When you said "everyone here", I thought you were saying everyone who posted in this thread.
I've been under a lot of stress with the new year starting off badly because my therapist told me our sessions might get axed because the state thinks I am not worthy of therapy. A part of me was hoping that this year was going to be better than last year but I fear it won't.
He was quite clearly promoting abusing women, so I made a joke about how I hope you all get the chance to do that. It was my way of pointing out how messed up his comment was.
Sorry to hear you might be losing your therapist. That sucks. I believe everyone is entitled to health care, including mental health care. I wish you lived in a place where people felt the same and those services were available to you. You deserve to be happy and healthy just like anyone else.
04 Jan 2018, 10:55 pm
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
I hope everyone here gets a chance to have a woman of their own to abuse. It's only fair!
Women seem more attracted to abusive men, probably cause abusvie men are dominant by nature and women love dominant men. The abuse is a bad side effect I suppose.
04 Jan 2018, 10:57 pm
Marknis wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Marknis wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
I hope everyone here gets a chance to have a woman of their own to abuse. It's only fair!
What the hell? Where did I ever once advocate abuse of any kind in this thread or anywhere on this forum for that matter? The point of my thread is that I don't like how men in the culture I live in are pushed to become aggressive jerks and I hate how some women in the Bible Belt actually have told me they hate "nice guys". I see so much confusing messages in my daily life and trying to be authentic is a struggle because of backwards social expectations.
If you want to know what my comment pertains to, look at the comment before it.
When you said "everyone here", I thought you were saying everyone who posted in this thread.
I've been under a lot of stress with the new year starting off badly because my therapist told me our sessions might get axed because the state thinks I am not worthy of therapy. A part of me was hoping that this year was going to be better than last year but I fear it won't.
She was just joking and meant all men on wp.
I don’t think most aspie men are capable of abusing others. Aspies are more often the victims of abuse.
I certainly couldn’t even if I wanted to, I’m too submissive I wish I wasn’t. I wish I was dominant
