Why are men threatened by a high body count compared to..?

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This was par for the course for urban America in the 70s.

AIDS led to much more caution.

I don't think anyone's number matters so long as they've been safe and respectful.
The only problem I have is when people talk about this number like it matters.
They wave it around like a badge of honour, which is creepy af.
If it's a low number they act ashamed, like it means they're inferior somehow.

it shouldn't matter.

I agree, but then why do they discuss it at all?
It's a non-topic.

It’s this (mostly) false notion that women don’t like “inexperienced” men, and that men are bothered when women are “experienced.”

Women I know don't like men who use terms like "body count", or men who advertise their number like a flag.

Men I respect don't hold double standards.

Well it may have been true for Brooklyn and Queens. I knew quite a few people from there. Few graduated high school as virgins. Much less so where I grew up.

I certainly don’t delve into that crap.

Most people I know are beyond this crap.

I don't brag about my "body count" but am somewhat proud to have had as many partners as I did, because until I was almost 21 it didn't seem as though I'd ever have any. But the irony is that the number is as large as it was mostly because I was in so many failed relationships.

Yeah but how many virgin men are a hit with the ladies and how many women who sleep around are called derogatory slurs behind their backs?

Let's get real here. I would say it's mostly true, not false. I was called a "Choir boy" by a middle aged women behind my back....just for being overly polite. Imagine what this woman must have thought about my sex life, yikes.

Quantity is just not as qualitative as quality.

It’s not the persons I’m talking about. It’s more about the depth of relationships.

One-night stands evoked an empty feeling in me. That wasn’t the fault of the woman, or of me.

... but people here advertise their "number" all the time, like a contest.

People can do or say whatever they want.
I'm not trying to police anyone.
I just think it's creepy af when people of either gender talk about numbers.
It suggests some type of hierarchy.

Maybe a high number means the person was lousy in bed / no one wanted to stay with them.
Maybe it means they didn't care about the other people and used them.
It's all in how you look at it.

I’d rather be thought of as a choirboy than as a creep.

If somebody thinks I’m virginal (which happens often), I become delighted when people are surprised I’m not THAT much of a nerd…..

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 14 Jun 2022, 6:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

I would rather be thought of as a guy known throughout town to "f**k and dump" than a choir boy.

The stigma can be personal to each individual but the stigma is always remains from the perspective of the general public.

Data from the "field":

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/vbq07z/tifu_by_asking_my_partner_whats_her_body_count/

I would certainly NOT ask a woman her “body count.”

I wouldn’t want to get slapped in the face