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Didn’t come as a surprise that he was a virgin!

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Aspie1
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08 Jul 2022, 5:54 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Sometimes they can, sometimes they can't. I've had an occasion where a woman (rather inappropriately) straight up asked me if I'm a virgin. There was another occasion where a woman asked me if I had any kids, so that would suggest she thought I seemed normal enough to have a girlfriend.
Funny story. I remember how a month or two after I lost my virginity to an escort, a woman who clearly thought low of me asked me if I was a virgin in a casual conversation. And I smugly told her: "No!". The look on her face was priceless. 8)



Last edited by Aspie1 on 08 Jul 2022, 5:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

The Grand Inquisitor
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08 Jul 2022, 5:55 am

Aspie1 wrote:
ironpony wrote:
I know not to generalize and say that not all people dislike virgins, but I think there are some that do to take into consideration. I asked my female friend and my gf if they would want to have sex with a virgin, to see what they would say, and they all said no, they would not want to do that. That's just two people but they both said no. So it makes me wonder, that some might have a problem with it, if the first two women I asked both said no.
I highly understand why women feel this way.
[Moderator] {Redacted generalizing and mansplaining}

This all seems like projection.

I'm sorry you feel that way about yourself.



kraftiekortie
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08 Jul 2022, 6:02 am

It’s a good thing we’re humans.

We’re not slaves to instinct and “evolutionary biology.”



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08 Jul 2022, 6:06 am

ironpony wrote:
Well as far as the notion goes to not be dishonest, is not saying your a virgin UNLESS YOU ARE ASKED, really dishonest though? Does a person you have sex with have to know everything about you before having sex?

I know not to generalize and say that not all people dislike virgins, but I think there are some that do to take into consideration. I asked my female friend and my gf if they would want to have sex with a virgin, to see what they would say, and they all said no, they would not want to do that. That's just two people but they both said no. So it makes me wonder, that some might have a problem with it, if the first two women I asked both said no.

But if a guy really must announce that he is a virgin, even if he is not asked, it would probably help to at least put a positive spin on it and don't say it in a way that would come off as apologetic. Perhaps say it in a flirtatious way, asking the woman if she into being someone's first sexual experience, but in a flirtatous way.



No you don't need to tell them even if you're asked.

Let's say you admit to a woman (or man) you're an older virgin. Naturally they'll ask "why?". It's the simplest follow up question and it puts people under pressure to disclose that they're autisitc or have some other medical problems.

They don't have to admit they're virgins if they feel probing and personal questions will follow. (Which they almost certainly will)



kraftiekortie
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08 Jul 2022, 6:08 am

Just. Don’t. Say. You’re. A. Virgin.

I never actually told anybody I was a virgin, and I rarely told people I wasn’t a virgin.



ironpony
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08 Jul 2022, 6:10 am

Those are good points. Well as for the notion that not admitting it is just dishonest, a woman I slept with didn't tell me she was a virgin until later, because she felt ashamed to tell me right off the bat. I didn't think it was a big deal that she withheld it, so maybe women won't think it's a big deal if a guy doesn't tell therefore?



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08 Jul 2022, 6:12 am

It only matters in certain cultures….certainly not in secular, “western” cultures.

I find that most women, after a certain age, would think “Are you a virgin?” is an adolescent question.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 08 Jul 2022, 6:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

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08 Jul 2022, 6:13 am

A virgin can safely get away with saying they had sex a couple of times and haven't done it in a while. It takes a few times to look like you done it before anyway.



ironpony
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08 Jul 2022, 6:17 am

Well when I lost my virginity in my early 20s I did tell the woman I was a virgin beforehand and she still had sex with me. However, she was 12 years older than me, if that has any factors into why she was more open to it than some women are perhaps?



kraftiekortie
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08 Jul 2022, 7:48 am

Come to think of it:

I can't believe women and men even ask this question of their partners. I was never asked whether or not I was a virgin; and I never asked anyone, either.

I wonder where the OP is now. I wonder if he's following this thread, and laughing at us....



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08 Jul 2022, 7:56 am

I would tell the person if I were. Of course, the person would know anyway because I’m not into casual encounters. It would be in the context of a relationship.



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08 Jul 2022, 7:57 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Come to think of it:

I can't believe women and men even ask this question of their partners. I was never asked whether or not I was a virgin; and I never asked anyone, either.

I wonder where the OP is now. I wonder if he's following this thread, and laughing at us....


There is basic etiquette and manners while dating and asking how many or few sexual partners you had is one of those questions that's of poor taste. Unless the person asking has a reasonable assumption the person he/she is asking can answer it without embarrassment.

Non-virgins should use some decorum when dealing with suspected virgins in their moment of success.



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08 Jul 2022, 8:01 am

I didn't my "first time"----but it's possible I could have told my first lover that "you're my first!" I believe most women, actually, would be honored if they were a man's "first." It just might make her feel special.



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08 Jul 2022, 8:12 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I didn't my "first time"----but it's possible I could have told my first lover that "you're my first!" I believe most women, actually, would be honored if they were a man's "first." It just might make her feel special.


You could have but some people might find it off-putting. When you're 30 seconds away from being a non-virgin I dunno if there's much point anyway.



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08 Jul 2022, 8:21 am

I would add too, there isn't really such a thing as virgins and non-virgins. If you never had sex you're not going to have much in the way of experience end of but once you have it gets a lot more complicated.

There can be some people who only had one partner in their lives who could have had sex thousands of times with said partner but does that mean he/she is on tune with what partners actually want in bed? Possibly not. Could that person be experienced in general? Possibly not as they might only know how to please one persons unique preferences.

On the opposite end of the scale is someone who who might have only had sex 100 times but had varied experiences with multiple partners and is just used to going from zero to full on at the drop of a hat with anyone and everyone. Someone like that might actually be more bold and confident in bed despite having a lot less sex.



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08 Jul 2022, 8:35 am

LOL....I would have told her AFTERWARDS......