Why many women dislike socially awkward men

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Oh, in that case she was my "exotic queen"

Are caucasians considered exotic to non-caucasians?

In my experience, kinda.

Coloured eyes, to people who don't have them.
And hair texture, to people with different hair texture.

I have standards but they are mostly personality-based.

People can "drop their standards," but in doing so, they can't expect the other person not to have their own set of standards. Just because a person is overweight doesn't mean that they will thank their lucky stars that they were asked out by someone. Maybe the person in question won't meet their specific criteria.

There's a big difference between lowering your standards and broadening your standards. Most very young people (and some older ones) have very narrow standards uncritically accepted from the media and peers. My own standards are high, but they're much broader than when I was 20.

This!

As others have alluded to, it's about broadening one's selectiveness as they get older. As I mentioned (perhaps you missed it) I have broadened my judgement over people's body size. Most people do.

Some people who are unable to get a date might have to also broaden their selectiveness and give somebody who is heavier a chance or consider dating people who aren't caucasian.

Young men are, however, very visual. They like what they like. When I was 20 my preferences were ridiculously specific. I probably messed up and let opportunities slip through my hands. But we live and learn.

I'm interested in the extent to which people are 'lowering their standards' as an act of conscious thought.

Cyberdad has said explicitly that he did this. Fair enough. But I wonder how common that is.

A while back now, I got a serious crush on a girl I knew who, I think it's fair to say, was not a classic beauty. But she had other things about her that made her very attractive to me. She was creative, funny, very driven and I liked the way she dressed. I was in a long-term relationship at the time, so was she, and I never had any intention of doing anything about this crush, even if it had been reciprocated.

But had circumstances been different, I wouldn't have considered that I had lowered my standards if I'd dated her, even though I could objectively say that I'd had come ons from much better looking girls.

I just find the idea that people filter out potential partners based on looks alone utterly bemusing. I mean, if you show me pictures of women I can tell you whether I find them pleasing to look at or not. There are body shapes I find more interesting than others, for sure. These things might make me more likely to pay attention to someone but they absolutely don't stop me feeling attraction.

So I suppose my questions are...

If you consider that you 'have standards', does that mean you never feel attracted to anyone who doesn't meet your standards?

And if you do feel attraction to people who are below your standards, does that mean you won't act on those attractions?

Personally, I have preferences but they aren't set in stone. For instance, I tend to find brunettes more attractive than blondes. Does this mean that I never find blondes or red heads attractive? No. Sometimes I do, but usually I have a preference for dark hair.

However, personality does factor in significantly. The way someone holds themselves, laughs, smiles. It's the little things really.

Frankly the idea that someone would be less attractive because they're a different race to me is perplexing. Skin colour is about as relevant as someone's handedness in terms of what I find attractive. It just doesn't factor in.

There are things which are deal breakers. I couldn't be with someone who smokes (asthma) and I would want to be with someone who is either agnostic or an atheist. No disrespect to the religious, but I would rather be with someone with similar beliefs.

^ Strongly agree with DuckHairback and Lost_dragon.

I've seen this ridiculous advice thrown around a lot to members who have expressed racist views.

For these people, going for a POC is lowering their standards. As a POC, I would only touch such people with a barge pole to whack them with it.

I would never date someone who in any way suggested he "lowered his standard" for me for any reason.
If he's not attracted to someone like me, let's not waste each other's time. If he considers me "inferior" for any reason (or the other way around), nothing healthy could grow out of it anyway.

I remember one attempt of pickup by "negging" me XD Bless my autism, I totally did not understand why did this guy keep telling me boys were swarming around my friend and not around me and that he pitied me that I was so often alone XD
Yeah, bless my autism, I just found him ignorant and illogical

ya, sometimes it feels like women are the only gender that are owed a relationship from the world, nature, and reality.

There's nothing better than a desperate guy trying to act like they're doing a woman a favor by being willing to "settle" for them. "Nobody will ever feel the same way about you that I do" may sound romantic in Wonderwall, but in reality, it's kinda a roundabout way of saying "you're so unlovable, you should be thankful someone like me is paying attention to you".

The guy you've described sounds like he was trying a similar schtick - "Look at how nice I am for paying attention to boring ole' you instead of mobbing your friend like all those other guys."

Learning to be less judgmental of people, and to appreciate them on different terms besides just "looks" or "physical attractiveness" is a very different thing from just going "ugh FINE, I'll take what I can get, if I HAVE to..."