How To Get A Girlfriend If You're An Autistic Man

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Nades
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27 Jan 2023, 4:18 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:

Looks, in my opinion, include:

- Size and shape of their head and jawline
- Their nose shape
- If their eyes are deep-set
- Hair colour and hairline
- Mouth (lips)
- Height as it pertains to proportion (long arms etc)
- Gait and movement

None of this can be changed in a gym unless you want to talk about weight loss, but that's not going to change a person's nose or lips or hair colour. Most men don't dye their hair and nor would I want them to.

I think we just have different interpretations of what "looks" means. I think it means all the invariables that we're born with.

Sure it's nice to lose a little weight or keep your hair nice but I don't think of that as "looks" in the same way that you might. Those are temporary and able to change or fluctuate.

Anyway none of this is meant to be an argument. All I wanted to do is reassure men who might be insecure about their "looks", or feel uncomfortable going to a gym, that there are women out there who will judge them for other qualities.

But going to the gym helps a lot if they make serious improvements. Even home workouts go a long way. Men who look buff seem to have a much easier time.

ironpony
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27 Jan 2023, 4:39 pm

Nades wrote:

IsabellaLinton wrote:

But going to the gym helps a lot if they make serious improvements. Even home workouts go a long way. Men who look buff seem to have a much easier time.

This seems to be true. There are three guys I know who are really buff, but have average looking faces. They have girlfriends, and wonder if they would have gotten them, if it wasn't for the muscles. One of them is my cousin who recently got married.

kraftiekortie
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27 Jan 2023, 4:44 pm

I’ve gotten many lovers without even a hint of “muscle.”

ironpony
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27 Jan 2023, 4:47 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

I’ve gotten many lovers without even a hint of “muscle.”

That's good. Maybe guys who do it, do it to make up for personality then to attract women perhaps, or maybe they still want to for other reasons.

r00tb33r
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27 Jan 2023, 5:25 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

I’ve gotten many lovers without even a hint of “muscle.”

Askinazi muscle. :wink:

The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Jan 2023, 5:36 pm

ironpony wrote:

Nades wrote:

ProfessorJohn wrote:

Self confidence is mentioned a lot in terms of success in dating. Attractive people are usually going to have higher self confidence because they have been treated better all of their life.

Brilliant comment. Previous rejection is often cited as a reason for low self-esteem.

Honestly, I think all autistics should work out and hit the gym hard. Autistics are dealt a crap hand in life when it comes to social skills, but many autistics have control of other facets of their life, including their bodies so they should double down on their looks.

I've mentioned previously in another thread that autistics usually look a bit.....chunky. I also said that there is no reason why they should look any uglier than NT's. It's a shame so many autistics who can look fantastic never make the most of it.

First appearances make a difference afterall. It's honestly such a shame to see so much obesety among the autistic community. We managed to cut an entire two decides off our average life expectancy which is an impressive (and shameful) "accomplishment"

That's good advice. Could one of the reasons a lot of autistic guys do not hit the gym is because a lot of women do not do it either so they figure, well if she is not going to do it to be more attractive, why should I?

Man, modern gyms are often full of women.

I would say the ratio is 1:1. In class sessions there’s usually more women even. I did post real videos of the gym I attend (their public official videos), look, it is totally mixed: https://fb.watch/ik2LxSi59H/

**Even here in the f*****g middle east**

I hardly believe it’s not the case in Canada.

Highlander852456
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27 Jan 2023, 5:40 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:

Highlander852456 wrote:

.
However generally I mean to say that if we apply this people overall attraction is probably a lot more important.

Yeah, OK ... But whether that's true or not, most of us can't change our looks without plastic surgery.
I don't think it's particularly helpful when men keep telling other men they likely aren't attractive.
How does that help other men to feel more confident, or to be good people?

A haircut or a year at the gym isn't going to change most people's looks very much.

Losing weight for personal reasons? Great.
Building muscle because it's an interest? Great.
Suggesting that women are speaking "crap" when they're interested in personalities?
Total crap.

No disagreement.

I am not selling hope though.
I think seeing things realistically gives people better chances.
Many women can get passed looks.
So can men.
My point was not telling people get taller, or more symmetrical face.
But its worth for people to evaluate these things about themselves.
That is if we are looking for improvements.
Personalities are gold mine for good relationships that is true.

r00tb33r
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27 Jan 2023, 5:43 pm

But isn't hitting on women at the gym stereotypical cringe?

Last edited by r00tb33r on 27 Jan 2023, 5:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Jan 2023, 5:48 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:

All my girlfriends, including current, admitted to me, and frequently, they they wouldn’t have turned their heads to me at first if they didn’t see me shirtless (I used a beach pic as main profile pic in the dating app); because I am toned (was much more toned in mid 30) but with a shirt on I look skinny.

Frankly your definition of good looks sounds way more… restrictive than my girlfriends’ definitions; at least them evaluated my looks based on something I worked on and kept encouraging me to maintain it; but yours is based on innate traits that can hardly be changed.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 27 Jan 2023, 5:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Jan 2023, 5:53 pm

r00tb33r wrote:

But isn't hitting in women at the gym stereotypical cringe?

Hitting in women anywhere is now considered a stereotypical cringe; first it was bars now the media also included gyms (stand up comedy, memes…).

But I did have few friendships with women I knew at the gym when I was younger: 8 to be precise.
I hanged out with them plenty of times outside the gym context.

ironpony
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27 Jan 2023, 6:03 pm

Well as far as woman wanting certain looks may go, I noticed that women seem to go more for guys with shaved heads and goatees in my experience, so could that automatically improve one's looks, even just a little?

r00tb33r
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27 Jan 2023, 6:08 pm

I hate shaving my head. I get severe razor burn and the stubble is coarse in a day or two. At most I could endure it weekly.

More recently I gave up on the goatee and just have a full neck beard. Been a rough few months...

ironpony
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27 Jan 2023, 6:19 pm

Oh well it's the neckbeards that are often pointed out as being less attractive, unless that's just a stereotype. It seems women I know are into guys that have the Jason Statham/Andrew Tate sort of look, where as guys who have trouble with women more often seem to prefer the Bob Ross look, which doesn't seem to work as well.

Jamesy
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27 Jan 2023, 6:23 pm

This guy I know once asked his friend “How do you touch up women while shopping in the supermarket”.

Talk about creepy

But maybe that was just his way of hitting on women and didn’t know any better since he was a bit autistic.

ironpony
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27 Jan 2023, 6:54 pm

Well as for what constitutes creepy, one time at the movie theater, the woman in the line up for tickets, just ahead of me, asked for tickets to a movie I already saw and I scoffed and said that movie really sucked.

Shen then laughed and said thanks for ruining it for me. I then got her number that way, but would that as creepy or coming on too strong with most women?

r00tb33r
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27 Jan 2023, 6:59 pm

ironpony wrote:

My hair situation doesn't have a good celebrity analog.

I'd say I look more like a homeless person who hasn't checked into a shelter in a month.

Old, bearded William Hurt toward the end is probably the closest.

It's been a rough year. This is the worst I've been.

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