Who are the Self Proclaimed Nice Guys here?

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hmm.

I think about going to a prostitute if they were legal, though to be honest they wouldn't satisfy my real needs, unless they would spend the day with me cuddling and watching movies followed by sex later. I had nsa sex and found it not to meet my needs. I guess despite being horny I really need emotional connection.

now the ideal of a non sexual counselor that could help guide me to being more appealing to women. That would be nice, though it seems my major issues are my face and lack of a job. Still help knowing when to as for a date would be nice. I don't know when to and I'm not in a rush to go on a date rather wanting to talk for weeks before, I now wonder if this is unacceptable to a woman. It is just how my closest things to relationships happen.

I may be afraid of going on a date now, since i fear it only end in rejection.

there are things one can only get in the hands of a woman. No amount of look into myself can provide the emotions and feelings of hugs, curdling, touch, having her listen to me and me listening to her.

as for my abuse and healing. I don't think i'll ever be healed, I'm healed but damagaed. Its affected my hormones and my mind when it comes to certain topics. the only place I expect help is from my wife if i ever have one. on certain topics.


also leafplant
we already do place a value on a piece of music. generally its $2 per song .

Look, if it helps some of you guys feel better, when I say you have to do it for yourself, it's from experience. You don't have to do it all by tomorrow or anything. It's one of those little bit by little bit sorts of things, not something you just wake up having solved. It's taken me twenty years to get to the point where I'm not downright destructive of myself and personal relationships.

It is do-able, just takes awhile and it's hard.

none

all i know is in opening up i cracked the bean, now its getting interesting. please continue.

Lukecash12: I've been raped by five separate people, most of which were people I was dating at the time or was married to, or made the mistake of going on a date with, or went to talk to because they said they needed to talk to me about something, or was left alone with because they were babysitting me.

When my parents were not punishing me, they were talking about new ways to hurt me and/or making me go out in public and buy things to torture me with. My mother, in particular, liked to take me to Wal Mart and make me pick out things she would break on me later. My father favored humiliation, like making me wear a toilet seat all day for my birthday and go out running errands so that everyone who saw me got to see me wearing the toilet seat, while spending the rest of the afternoon pointing and laughing at me. We were in Dallas at the time, at Home Depot. It was quite busy. I had to wear the toilet seat almost the entire rest of the day, as we ran errands in Dallas.

My father also spent my childhood beating me for being a whore, because someone he left me with molested me. He spent my young adulthood telling everyone I sight that I was a slut, which made me more attractive to creepy, molesty men. He went to the family of my first and second husbands and told them they might as well install a revolving door on my bedroom. (FYI: Faithful to both husbands.)

My brother encouraged me to kill myself throughout my childhood, and the rest of my family tells me that it's my fault we can't all get along and won't let me talk about anything that happened because I should just drop it already.

I was homeless as a teenage girl to get away from that environment, not that being homeless was a great improvement.

When I do go to therapists, they remark that it's a miracle I haven't been institutionalized. I have lifelong PTSD, including disrupted sleep, appetite problems, inability to digest food, I am jumpy if I'm in the least bit stressed, I check the locks before I sleep, I have screaming nightmares, I have trouble trusting others, I am solitary to a fault and I have rage issues for which I took anger management. I get up every morning and fight to be a decent human being, and for the most part, at least according to those closest to me, I actually manage. I don't hit anyone, I don't hurt anyone, I don't abuse anyone, I don't treat anyone like I was treated.

I know INTIMATELY what it's like to be raped, humiliated, tortured (lack of sleep, lack of privacy (I wasn't allowed to piss with the door open because I might touch myself; my parents timed my bathroom visits), physical harm, emotional torture, intellectual shaming...) However, unlike AspergianMutantt, I realized that no one else could fix me.....

and fixed my f*****g self, because I was the only one who could. Some people, when they experience trauma, deal with it because they don't want to live the rest of their lives angry, resentful, bitter and blaming everyone else for their problems. I and at least four others have spent all day trying to patiently explain to the man what was wrong with what he was saying. Many people have empathized with him who have analogous experiences, and it hasn't made a difference because what he wants is not to get healing, what he appears to want is to punish women for rejecting him.

As a side note: the topic is currently, in my reading, taking personal responsibility for the problems you might be having with persons of the opposite sex. It has everything in the world to do with entitlement issues and being a "nice person," as opposed to a genuinely nice person.

^ :'(

hugs?