Women asking guys out?

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That may be the case for those who have that perception in the first place—and who have read anything about this topic on an MRA blog, for that matter. The concept of “ego upkeep”, as you put it, sounds completely foreign to me. But, since you’re talking about experiences with heterosexual men, that means those men were at least able to attract whoever experienced that with them. Maybe whatever leads them to behave that way is also what makes them desirable to begin with?

“Ego upkeep.”

I understand what she’s saying.

I asked my SO about that. She says that it’s a non-issue. If a woman doesn’t like a man or she’s halfway through a date and he goes into full-on creep mode, she can just walk away. Simple as that.

She says that if a man needs “upkeep,” he needs to forget about dating other women and go back home to mommy. And then she can just walk away and meet some other guy in some other bar. Rinse, repeat.

The hardest thing about being a cis guy in my opinion is market saturation and lack of demand. Nobody cares. Taylor Swift has a blank space for you. Women, on the other hand, don’t have to guess about exactly how much they’re really worth. Aside from the obvious, the main problem for women is which ones they go out with THIS weekend.

I’ve noticed this is going towards the whole “who has it better” angle that shuts threads down, so I’m leaving it there.

Not to sound like broken record but lotta off topic replies. I agree with angelRho this is going bad.

Also smell anger or outrage in a few.

Yeah there are picky hetero guys out there. Also needy ones, sweet, confident, unconfident, kind or unkind or etc etc. All shapes, sizes, demenors and come in a variety of shades of color (all for 3 easy payments of 9999.99 lol)

Yes some hetero men are picky cause like any human (any gender, any orientation) seeking love dont want to be scammed, husstled and be miserable in there marriage. The person (any gender) doesnt wanna end up settling for 2nd best or the bottom of the barrel ( in there mind.)

Settling is harmful. My aspie friend did settle even we told him not to settle for a negative aura woman ( negative as in she demeaned him constantly.) He never gave up on her saying shed change. Divorce happens. She cleans out his bank account. Even though shes the one who cheated and filed . Those who settle and believe he/ she will be the only one to ever come along get quote/ unquote what they paid for.

The old form was for guys to ask out women. So they could prove there courage (ba**s if you wish)( some could say maturity). Thats the old way though.

In the 90 we intro'd the vice versa ball. Where ladies asked the guys to a dance. High school stuff ( didnt go sadley)

This is 2018 this is a good year for new possibilities. A new age for new ideas. The time to break the mold. Break the gender role mold. Look at me im unusual for a hetero guy.
Im not saying women prove yourselves. its time for both genders to take responsibility. Take a chance. Anyone. Genders all equeal in the dating realm"

In this new age, women have the choices. If the hetero lady opens to a bi guy. Odds are she'll maybe find him to be confident than most.

Im outa material folk.

Good luck.

P.s you cant prove anything withstatistics and the scientific methodology when dealing with humans. Humans all have different emotions, diff styles, diff lifestyles, etc etc. Predicting humans with probability not easy. Especially online. Thanks to online masks (people pretending what they arent or wanna be)

Android?
I’m a iPhone user and it’s had 10ish updates since it came out if not more OkCupid app seems to update twice a week.

Uh-huh.

But she's attracting heterosexual dudes, which goes back to my original point.

And, as I've stated countless times, there's a hell of a lot more to "relationships" than attracting somebody.

The point you guys are missing that a woman can attract 100 tinder messages but it doesn't matter at the end if none of them are worth a penny because those men want something else.
And also missing another thing, most women don't want to get laid, they want a relationship not a one night stand.
And the last thing is that most women on tinder have no intention to meet, it's for the ego boost.
And the very last thing is that too much supply will dampen the demands, too many choices make iy way more difficult to choose.

Your point being … that heterosexual men suck?



But it you don’t attract somebody in the first place, there’s no hell of a lot for you—you stay at square one. No progress, no experience, no learning. To me, this makes a hell of a lot of a difference.

Not at all. My point was mostly tongue-in-cheek, but I do find it amusing how some men on here will go on and on about how frustrating, picky, and annoying women are, but immediately get the vapors when anyone dares suggest that men aren't necessarily a divine gift, either.



Uh-huh, but, as I've stated countless times before, if the "relationship" aspect never takes off, you're not in a much better position.

And, as I continue to reiterate, be it through culture, biology, or both, men and women have different reproductive roles, and, therefore, want different things. You can give me 50 bowls of chocolate ice cream, but, seeing as how I hate chocolate ice cream, it's not going to make me "happy." Screaming at me that, "At least you got ice cream!" is a waste of time for both of us.

My "meta-point" is that the "who has it easier" debate is stupid, and I think certain individuals would do well to invest their time into more productive things than incessantly trying to "prove" how "easy" we chicks have it.

I’m not sure anymore what you’re arguing, apart from throwing generic insults against men you know full well would never be tolerated against women, and disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing, without letting us know what the disagreement is about.

So I’ll hazard a guess. Are you telling us that receiving a lot of messages you can read or not, and reply to or not, at your sole discretion, most of which may be uninteresting to you, but always with the possibility that one isn’t, is somehow not better than receiving no messages at all, which makes your chance to find what you’re looking for exactly zero?

I suppose there’s also a reason why you said they’re not “worth a penny”, rather than simply “uninteresting to you”. Do you actually mean the fact that the men want something other than what you want makes them necessarily bad people?



I don’t recall anyone arguing against that. But if no woman at all messages you, it matters little what any woman who might theoretically have messaged you wants.



And? Are you arguing those women also don’t have it better than the men who do want to meet? If they can afford to join only to waste lonely men’s time for the sake of their ego, they surely either already have their needs for male company fulfilled or have none in the first place. I don’t think anyone’s argued against that, either.



To the point that it’s no better at all than having no choice, period? Hard to believe. If you can think of no better strategy, you can always choose messages at random to read and decide to reply or not, till you get bored. Next time, rinse and repeat. The man receiving zero messages can’t. Again, what’s your point?

So we had to interpret all this ^^^, from this vvv?



So a balant sexist comment is now acceptable if the commenter intended it as a joke?

Hmmm...?

Christ are you for real? You sound like some bitter feminist who blames her faults and failures on men. You're definitely projecting your issues on men as women have issues with There are plenty of charismatic men who are single over the age of 30 for various reasons.

He could've gotten out of a bad relationship. Maybe his wife died of cancer. He could even be a late bloomer who lost a lot of weight and gained some social skills. That's just the tip of the iceberg.

As for asking guys out as a decent looking guy who who has been asked out multiple times it can still come off weird if you're too forward. That or someone put you up to it because it's still rare for girls to ask guys out directly. Likely like many here I was oblivious to "obvious" social cues. You can't be too subtle either because these days a simple hello is considered "street harrassment. Hint that you want to hang out. Like if there's a partnered event going on say I would go if you go and ask for his number.

Obviously not, seeing as how I clarified.



I don't see it as inherently worse than the generalizations lobbed at women on the basis of "science," or "life experience," or whatever else the men on this website use to justify constantly complaining about women. I just get tired of the double-standard.

A point I have tried to make a number of times also, but perhaps never with a useful analogy. I like it.

There are some men in this forum who have indicated they would be happy with any woman, with any type of interest, etc. I get it, they want *something*. But for a man to say women are luckier to get this *something*, just because that man would be happy with it, makes little sense.

Is each individual getting their individual wants met - that is the more important thing to explore, IMO. (And of course, what might be the best solution for each individual, if they're not.)

This has become a war of opinions. Neither side will give in and nor will. Again how it relates to the opinion ?

You all are blowing it out of proportions. In the end everyone's human with emotions, lifestyle, background, opinion.

Im seeing outrage in posts and a few post that are pushing opinions of there own that are just opinions and generalized/ to at least conjecture. Im seeing black n white realist. When this requires grey thinking. Unfortunately were a.s ... so our opinions are obsessively strong.

Neither is there room for blaming a side for a failure to network or mesh. So women reject u so men reject u. Work with what u have instead of moping.

There is no place in modern dating (possibly society) for chauvinist machoism (male dominance) nor feminism .

Male dominance died in the officially 60s. Women are more capable in many matters. Women can multitask better thsn men. There are now females in corperate world kickin ass.
In the dating world they hold a slight bit more power. A lady can sit pretty while is the guy who sits up and barks

Feminism isnt pretty either. It is causing more workplace, romantic issues than ever. There is unbiased systems putting the guy at fault in our court system. Divorce, criminal charges, etc etc.

Point is this doesnt belong brought to the dating realm. Mind as well segregate genders.

Stop and think. Each human has there own way of life. K.

Get back to the topic and ask. Is a woman asking a guy socially acceptable ? Is it a good thing.

I say yes it puts the ball in the ladies court. And it gives women equality in the dating realm.

Hey also how about an opinion of some married. Male or female, no matter the orientation.

Perhaps if she rubbed fish oil on herself she could attract cats instead

So finding 1000 apples of varying qualities while you're in the desert with no food, from which few may be edible while others are not and probably a handle of them may be perfect ...... is worse than finding 0 apple in the desert.

Ahhh the logic that you two have.

yellowtamarin , XFG's post would make sense if ALL guys on dating site are horrible - but you know that it's not the case, there's always a better probability to find what you want among any number, than among null. It's just mathematical.