How To Get A Girlfriend If You're An Autistic Man

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I don't like goatees, which is the common sort of way guys my age have their facial hair. I like clean shaven men, but I suppose young clean shaven men look too youthful. So if a guy is like 20-30 years older than me and is clean shaven they usually look just right. I don't mind if a beard is growing because they haven't shaven for a week though. I'm just not keen on neatened goatees. Not saying it's unattractive, as it is very attractive, but just doesn't appeal to me.

Appearance can factor into dating success very heavily, but so can a lot of other things, like opportunities to meet the right kind of people, and how outgoing and willing to risk rejection someone is.

An overweight, below-average looking charismatic extroverted guy is probably going to end up having greater dating success than an average-weight, average-looking introverted guy who has trouble putting himself out there and forming new social connections.

Improving one's looks can generally only increase one's chances of attracting a partner, but that doesn't mean doing so will achieve that result. With those of us on the spectrum who struggle, I'd dare say looks probably aren't the primary problem for most of us, and a slight improvement in appearance will make little difference to our dating prospects unless other barriers are addressed.

When I was at high school only the really popular girls got boyfriends. So no matter how pretty you were the boys wouldn't be seen dead with you if you wasn't popular. Obviously a few quieter girls got with quiet boys but they were usually the studious types that were mature beyond their years. Otherwise, average girls didn't really have a boyfriend.

Looks still play a part but not in the way that you think (unless you have that rare beautiful sort of look that makes you stand out, but body weight is usually connected to that too). So what I'm saying is most people don't need to look beautiful to find a date, but usually your date is attracted to something about your physical appearance. It's usually down to opinions when it comes to looks. For example, I find my 60-year-old balding overweight fella very cute, even before we dated something about him made me tingle. He just has a cute face in my eyes, and then when I got to know him I noticed his personality was just as sweet as his face. If you find someone cute but don't really find you're compatible with them personality-wise (like you don't find their personality attractive) then you'll likely end the relationship.

It's so very complex but I hope I have kinda answered some of the disagreements in this thread. Yes, I'm a woman, but I still think my post is valid. I don't understand why so many dating posts here are geared for men even though most people here can't admit that dating is harder for autistic guys than it is for autistic women.

My boyfriend has had a big ole beard even when I first met him and what I love is he is stubborn of like its his beard and he wants it there. He is for sure like you get me and my beard or nothing and I love it you know it's his body and he wants that beard. If a standard for me dating him was 'you have to shave the beard' would have been a deal breaker for him. So idk I like a fat guy with a beard...too me I think a guy with some weight plus a beard is most attractive,just don't really care about skinnyy guys in that way...I guess I am what they call a chubby chaser and I got no shame of that...so I like fatter guys, and am not so into skinny guys idk why but yeah I like a chubby/fat man with a good beard vs a chad with chiseled abs or whatever.

I guess part of it is it's nice to cuddle with a bigger person, and in relationships I am into a bit of cuddling and I find it more enjoyable to cuddle chubby/fat guys. Idk am I a cat lol Idk.

I’m clean-shaven and a bit chubby. Short.

Well based on this thread lower your standards to something more realistic, like the issue from posters here does not seeem like a lack of women but a lack of autistic men wanting to even consider women who don't fit the hot girl tm look/personality.

They want a hot blonde to fall out of the sky into their lap and just consider 'ugly' women as non options because they desereve a freakin model. Truth is most people are average looking and find other average looking people to partner up with. Most people don't just get hot dyed blonde girlfriends...which unfortunately some autistic guys see those as the only datable women and ignore women who might actually be in their league.

Gimme some belly and beard or stubble any day.

Who wants to hug a rock?

To you rocks might not be all that fun but it seems most women will take a rock over a belly if given the choice.

It is funny, in order to sound “different”, they shame one body type to glorify another.

At the end of the day, it is the same.

No guy here even said anything like that. Are you drunk again?

I'm not shaming anyone and I hope it doesn't come across that way.
I'm just saying what I like.
Don't forget I'm older than you guys.
Maybe it's a generational thing.
I'm still into the type of men I was into 30 years ago.
Back then most men who went to the gym or had gym bods were gay.
That's no slight on gay men (or gym men), but I found more grungey guys hot.

Oh FINALLY you realize that your ideas are so outdated.

This.

I prefer rocks.

I think most people stick with the "type" that they like in their 20s and 30s.
Your type likely won't change much in the next 20 years.
I wouldn't say outdated but age-appropriate maybe?
Although when I was 30 I liked grungey guys too. It was in style then.

What is “grungey”, show us examples.

well not me, belly before abbs I say, and it is nice to have more to cuddle, at least in my opinion. And well maybe autistic guys should stop limitig themselves to said women who may not give them the time of day cause there are a lot of women out there who just want a real relationshp they aren't all 10s on the looks scale but they could make for good genuine partners, idk looks aren't everything.

LIke idk I am rather slim and not bad looking in the body, but well I have kind of crooked teeth, had braces for a timee but that didn't fix it so they don't even line up quite right so you know I don't have the face of a model so ik how picky are autistic guys,, they just want a dyed blonde 10 on the looks scale and no other women exist? If I was still single some of the things like that people around here say would hurt my feelings more, but I have a boyfriend who reassures me he likes how I look because jerks like to act like you have to be a pretty person or you have no value, and that is nonsense. Like I got an alright body I think ,but I don't have the most attractive face, but it is my face nonetheless. But like wearing clothes that look good on me and showering regularly I look good enough but like it is sad seeing guys here complain of reelationship stuff but ends up they are really picky about getting a hot girl girlfriend that looks like a High school cheerleeaeder and basically just disregard women who arene't like that. It's like lots of autistic guys fit a kind of nerd streotype yet they don't want to date the nerd girls cause they are too 'ugly'.

I meaen to get a girlfriend you actually have to like women, and not just for their looks. Like having a bitter attitude towards women when you want a serious relationship with one, is a sure way to fail.