To all Aspie men who are angry with women.

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Brian003
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17 Sep 2007, 12:57 pm

Aridarr wrote:

I have terrible experiences with men, and I am not even dating. Every time I go out, I am perpetually sexually harassed by idiots, exclusively of the male gender.

Based on such experiences, I could quite easily make the statement that all men are perverts; just as some people here say that all women are b*****s. However, I won't do that, as I it would be a vast assumption. I strongly suggest that you allow the female gender the same respect; the respect that they are all individuals and should not be pre-judged.

I am also asking you to consider the possibility that these women do not actually set out to hurt you; that they are just obeying their emotional reactions.

So, you are a guy.....not a girl.

dddhgg
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17 Sep 2007, 4:35 pm

Just chiming in rather late. Not that my reply will be very relevant to this entire discussion, but perhaps it may be enlightening to at least someone.

I'm a 23 year old male, and so far all my experiences with the other sex have been rather negative. Though I've been in love a few times (two times quite deeply), I have never been in anything even distantly resembling a romantic relationship. "Rejected" is my middle name. Yes, I did have a female friend at one time, but she had a boyfriend, and I fell in love anyhow, ... painful story, ..., bla, bla, bla.

But what I want to say is, that I don't feel that in any of my rejections the woman was in any way to blame. I guess I just didn't fit in with their lives, didn't make them happy, and that my feelings for them were quite unwelcome. I should have known better. Unfortunately it took me most of my adolescence to figure out that I probably don't fit in with anyone's life. My friends (all male) keep telling me that someday the magic will happen. Even some of the women who rejected me said that. Yeah right, I think to myself then, when pigs acquire the ability to fly... But, seriously, I'm very skeptical with regards to such predictions. Truth is, some people just never find that special someone - even famous persons like Isaac Newton or Emily Dickinson. And on the bright side, once you do realize that *you* most probably are one of these solitary people, then life becomes much easier, for you, but also for all those potential love interests, who will now be left alone.

Then there are the many advantages of being single permanently: within reason, I can do as I please, for ever and ever; I can plan my entire future without having to consider wife, children, etc... Furthermore, my heart will never be broken again, period. I will also have plenty of time for my work, hobbies, charitable causes, etc. In short: I'm as free as a bird which has been let out of its cage, the cage called "romantic desire".

I'm not advocating celibacy or singleness, or anything. Everyone should strictly decide that for him/herself. It's just that to me it seems that remaining alone for the rest of your life is perhaps not so bad after all, and for some people may be even sort of unavoidable.

Just my $0.02. Thanks for bearing with me for so long.

Brian003
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18 Sep 2007, 11:29 pm

Yup Yup, I almost 100% agree.

gbeagle
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20 Sep 2007, 7:33 pm

dddhgg, I agree almost completely with what you said. All of my relationship experiences haven't been entirely negative, but I too have been coming to the realization that I'm one of those people that is meant to be alone. I don't think I could ever be happy or function well in a romantic relationship. Also a relationship would make the plans I have for how I want to live my life more difficult. Realizing this has improved my mental state. Why should I depress myself over not having something that I wouldn't enjoy, and doesn't fit in with the way I want to live my life. Because society thinks I should? Screw that noise!

TheMidnightJudge
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20 Sep 2007, 8:42 pm

It is me.

dragonboy
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21 Sep 2007, 9:42 am

Aridarr wrote:

LePetitPrince wrote:

I think that Aridarr is the one who's angry on a whole gender .

I hate to be so assumptive, but based on your last comment, you seem rather angry, sweetie.

LePetitPrince wrote:

Quote:

I have terrible experiences with men, and I am not even dating. Every time I go out, I am perpetually sexually harassed by idiots, exclusively of the male gender.

you said before :

Quote:

The way that women treat you is more a reflection on yourself than on the gender itself; just as the way that men treat me says more about me than the male gender.

So we can conclude : that the way that guys treat you is more a reflection on yourself than on the gender itself , just as the way that men treat you says more about you than the male gender . So since you date maniac idiot perverts who harass you perpetually then that means that you are a sexual pervert too ?

If you had taken the time to read what I had said instead of jumping to unsavory conclusions, you would know that I am not dating.

The men who harrass me in the street are strangers who I do my best to avoid, and with whom I have no personal connection.

What I meant when I made the comment about the fact that the way men treat me says more about me than the male gender is that I am, unfortunately, the kind of girl who incites sexually-fuelled stupidity in most men.

In other words; I'm gorgeous, sweet and naive. Men think they can take advantage of me.

Anyway, I'm not attacking men, and certainly not Aspie men. If you had read my messages fully, you would see that I am trying to help them.

I am trying to show them that they are not being singled out or victimized in any way; and that there is no reason for them to become bitter or angry towards the opposite sex, an attitude that would only serve to cause them further pain.

If anything makes me angry, it is the sheer sexism of the attitudes of some of the men here.(notice - I say some, not all. I know as a fact that many of you are sensible people.)

Why is it so hard for you to accept that women have their own emotional needs; that they have as much a right to reject you if they see fit as you have to reject a woman you dislike?

I'm not trying to be hurtful; I am giving you the facts.

Look, nobody deserves rejection, but it is something we all have to live with.

It is pointless to hold grudges against those who reject you; they are simply acting in accordance with their emotions and desires; not out of malice. Romance isn't something that can be forced. It involves accepting the wishes of another, as well as fullfilling your own. And, sometimes you just have to accept that the person you are attached to emotionally doesn't reciprocate; not because they consciously decide not to, but as the relationship doesn't feel right to them.

Nobody can choose who they love or like, nor who they hate or dislike.

Emotions know no logic, or fairness.

Edit: Another thing; did any of you notice the title of this thread? The points I am making here are directed solely at Aspie men who hold unhealthy grudges against women.

I did not, at any point, claim that all men or even that all Aspie men are misogynists; just that there are at least a few who are, some of which come here.

And yes, they do exist here. I happened to know one here once, a man who expressed the opinion that all women deserve to be raped.

This thread was intended to educate people like him.

there are more and better reasons to have grudges against NT women ive been assaulted by people i dont know havent talked to and havent looked at, more than a few girls bullied me and got others to attack me, now i do not hate women, except the slu*ty manipulative type who think they are above everyone elseim just saying there are more reasons why aspie men may not like NT women

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dragonboy
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21 Sep 2007, 9:52 am

samtoo wrote:

Who_Am_I wrote:

TheMidnightJudge wrote:

Women suck

Yes. Men seem to enjoy it when we do.

LOL funniest thing I've read all day thus far.

YES WE DO lol but yeh it is very funny

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dragonboy
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21 Sep 2007, 10:04 am

Brundisium wrote:

Aridarr wrote:

Whenever any of you makes the claim that all girls/women are like this, or that, you are utterly wrong.

The way that women treat you is more a reflection on yourself than on the gender itself; just as the way that men treat me says more about me than the male gender.

Sorry guys; it's not them; it's you.

Think about it; if you met an overweight, unattractive girl, you would treat her badly in comparison to a beautiful supermodel type.

These women are doing the same as you would in that situation.

If a woman rejects you, it isn't because women are unfair; it is because you don't make her happy.

That is what love is about; being with someone who makes you happy. Neither women nor men have control over who makes them happy. If someone rejects you, they are not being judgemental, or bigoted. They are just obeying their emotional reaction to you as a person. Why should anyone tolerate a romantic partner who doesn't make them happy?

That is why aspies have so much trouble in romance; they don't understand what it is that makes others happy as well as other people do.

And if a woman is unkind in her rejection of you; it could be because she has her own life and set of priorities that don't include you.

Just as you may have all the time in the world for one girl and ignore another; they are the same.

People (meaning women and men), especially in romance, tend towards behaviour that causes emotional distress to others. This doesn't mean that they are bad people, or playing games with your emotions; in most situations, they are probably just confused.

As people, none of you are socially perfect; many of you upset people without meaning to.

So-called 'neurotypicals' are no different; they make mistakes too.

Although you made a lot of sense with all this, most of this advice belongs with NT dating.

Aspie males who get frustrated with dating aren't just being ignorant a**holes, they're trying to struggle through a completely different neurological wiring and have no idea how to do it.

The fact that people like yourself think that they're being strange or ignorant just makes it worse, because there's no attempt at understanding being made and we're just being told we're "not doing it right" when every iota of effort we have is going towards trying to do everything right!

you have a very good point here. maybe alot of anger comes from us trying to understand you with you not bothering to even attemp understanding us even going so far as to stop us ever understanding you Aridarr, oh yeh and most of your generalisations only work on NT men and maybe even more NT women also you need to make sense you keep changing what your saying, so as many an NT has said to me think before you speak!

Nice of you to assume we're all overweight, bald losers too.

yeh thats really not nice :evil:

, then again i have already classed you as the slu*ty ignorant cheerleader type so maybe were :twisted:

even

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calandale
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21 Sep 2007, 4:08 pm

Not sure which of these males you put
in that category, but whatever.

dragonboy
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22 Sep 2007, 8:21 am

i meant Aridarr

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calandale
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22 Sep 2007, 3:06 pm

Haven't heard from him in a while now.
Wonder how he'd feel about your assessment.

dragonboy
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22 Sep 2007, 5:08 pm

oh crap i thought he wasa girl i must of clicked on the wrong profile besides from his argument it sounded like an argument ive heard that type of girl give lol

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Who_Am_I
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22 Sep 2007, 9:40 pm

dragonboy wrote:

Aridarr wrote:

LePetitPrince wrote:

I think that Aridarr is the one who's angry on a whole gender .

I hate to be so assumptive, but based on your last comment, you seem rather angry, sweetie.

LePetitPrince wrote:

Quote:

I have terrible experiences with men, and I am not even dating. Every time I go out, I am perpetually sexually harassed by idiots, exclusively of the male gender.

you said before :

Quote:

The way that women treat you is more a reflection on yourself than on the gender itself; just as the way that men treat me says more about me than the male gender.

None of those are a reason to have a grudge against ALL NT women. I can see how it would make you more cautious, but saying that they are all b*****s or whatever is as bad as those people who have a bad relationship with an AS person, then decide that we are all selfish, uncaring and all those words that are used against us. Not everyone is the same.

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Ticker
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23 Sep 2007, 6:11 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:

The AS men shouldn't be so down on the NT women. I think among those NT if you try hard enough you will find compassionate women who might be good for an AS guy. On the other hand from reading a lot of AS women's posts I can't say we as a group are overly accepting and compassionate, unless of course you are a cat. A lot of us don't want to even be bothered by someone seeking a date or relationship. At least most NT women WANT to date.

juliekitty
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01 Oct 2007, 9:09 am

Ticker wrote:

On the other hand from reading a lot of AS women's posts I can't say we as a group are overly accepting and compassionate, unless of course you are a cat.

I like to think of myself as being choosy.

LePetitPrince
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01 Oct 2007, 3:43 pm

I still can't understand how Ariddar can be a guy while he wrote that?

Quote:

I have terrible experiences with men, and I am not even dating. Every time I go out, I am perpetually sexually harassed by idiots, exclusively of the male gender.

Are you bisexual or gay Ariddar? If yes , then I don't think the rules of homosexual relations are not really the same of heterosexual relations

, no?

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