How many of you are on OKcupid?

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Well, I dunno. I think shallow-ness on the Internet is to be expected. I mean, not everyone is shallow, but people who make a point of not considering someone's looks then their personality are probably exceptions . . .

It has more to do with the process, because OkCupid is set-up so you see someone's face initially then use that to assess how much of their profile you want to read, whether their 'Hey, wussup.' comment is intriguing or isn't. It makes sense, since ultimately we want someone who satisfies both basic conditions, looks and personality. And if you are doing some version of the same, well there you go. I mean, be cynical if you want. But there's really no need to lump all the shallowness to any particular area of the process.

I like online dating because it's eerie to make things happen in real life through the Internet. I'm super-good at the Internet aspect of it . . . I often get really thrown off by the Internet people materializing at some cafe I've just gone to though. Strange.

You make good points.

You know, I've never, EVER succeeded on "dating sites", but I have "succeeded" on things in which I got to know someone first... I do a lot of gaming, when I'm able, and I've developed some *really* strong bonds with some of those folks. Many of them I've met over the years (at events like BlizzCon), and some I've even "dated". I find it interesting that I've remained friends with folks that I've dated and broken up with that I've met on-line, and haven't remained friends with people I've dated and broken up with that I've met off-line. I don't really feel like analyzing it; it is what it is, but I'm sure it has something to do with getting to know the person before the picture. *shrugs*

Anyway.... we're totally off topic now, ain't we >.>

Ha!

B_loom

So I went and enabled my account and found this guy had came back on that I was interested in. So I messaged him and he replied but the page didn't notify me like before and I thought he didn't reply. So I got all miffed and called him a snob about an hour later. Then, I happened to reload the page and noticed his message showed up a few minutes after my first. I was like oh no. lol. So I just kept the page up while I did other things and someone messages me who actually read my profile. So I go and look at their profile and message them back. Then we end up with over 30 messages. Talking about stupid conspiracy stuff like aliens, and time travel, nothing in-depth just throwing around topics. So I guess if they are interested they will message you back.

I've been on there solely for browsing purposes. I would never even think of try to finding a date on there.

Well that was fun while it lasted. I mentioned that I think hand holding is rather stupid and haven't received a response back. LOL. I know it isn't just me because no one in my family cares to either but then we're a very confident lot. Go figure.

I had an account, but I closed it. I am a bit hesitant about meeting someone online and not having a way to find out if they are really a serial killer or rapist or something (I am a bit paranoid). One or two guys would message me back, but several guys who I had nothing in common with would message me asking me for a date directly, even though I had explicitly stated that I was not interested in dating at the time (I left unstated that perhaps after I got to know someone I might consider dating). Many were also a bit creepy and MANY years older. It made me nervous that creepy people would send me messages so I left.

I have a free account that I don't use. It says I have all these messages and people wanting to talk to me but I have to pay to view them. I'm not sure if they are fake. When I get into shape and return to school or get a job, I'll probably get the paid version.

What an odd reasoning system. Why would someone be incompatible for simply complimenting your looks? You don't look ugly. It seems very logical for one to be interested in someone's looks for mating reasons. Most people become interested in someone at first based off their looks. It seems counter productive to ignore someone's looks initially, only to revisit the situation later. Now, if you're talking about someone who doesn't care at all about physical attraction, then that's another story. Personality is important too, but without physical attraction, I don't see the purpose of a long-term relationship.

Someone who forms sexual attractions and adheres to some sort of notion of aesthetic objectivism is not going to enjoy being in a relationship with a repulsed asexual who abhors beauty standards, and vice versa. That's pretty "logical".

I wouldn't be on a dating site if I was interested in "most people"- I'd be wandering around willy-nilly at my grocery asking "You wanna debate ethics this Saturday?"

Exactly. Which is why it's best if that second part never happens. "Ignore" implies someone is infatuated with aesthetics and says nothing of them. I'm seeking someone who, like me, very likely feels no aesthetic preference at all.

And I don't see how romantic attraction, attachment, and long term commitment inherently mean physicality.
Checkmate.

I've never had that happen actually.. that sounds fishy.

That's...not OKC.

I made an account. I don't have a subscription. I have a lot of messages that I cannot view unless I pay. I'm on the correct website.

OKC is free to use, messaging included. There's a paid version called "the A-list".
Otherwise, you're being scammed.

Sigh. Apparently, I've been on cupid.com, which is not okcupid.com.

I seriously don't know how I ended up on that site. But I didn't do anything stupid so no big deal.

Phew.