Is the Red Pill Really So Bad?

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XFilesGeek
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14 Dec 2018, 5:57 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

XFilesGeek wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

XFilesGeek wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Now here’s another RP-like example on WP from users who claim to be anti-RP:
viewtopic.php?t=371248

The verdict of their posts is clear: they’re claiming that women are generally more evil and catty than men. This happened in a lot of other threads in the women’s section, there were even worse threads of women talking bad about women.

If those ladies were male users instead I am 100% sure their posts would have caused uproars and they would have been kicked out for misogyny in no time, the worst posts on NT women (ie. saying they’re catty, unkind, untrustful..etc) I have ever spotted were always in the women section by other women.

/opening a big can of worms.

No, everything in that thread is couched in terms of "in my experience."

This can be said the same for the guys who complain about women.

You are unbelievably biased. lol

Cite specific examples and we'll go from there.

And pot, meet kettle.

When Mark and Sly complain about women, they’re also referring to their personal experiences, how many times they said they’re talking about their town in specific.
You just suddenly see “in my experience” when you favor the user.

Yeah, I know, which is why I've never taken any moderator action against either of them.....

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hurtloam
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14 Dec 2018, 6:01 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:

. I didn't understand that it was "neurotypical" which made me anxious rather than "female" as a gender.

I relate to this. My mum is autistic, so not the issue (well there's issues, but not NT issues, thats a whole other story).

But I just couldn't understand the girls and women around me growing up.

I was lucky to find a group of 4 girls in high school who were quirky, one was probably an aspie, a very intelligent one, she's a Dr now.

I've met more women who are less stereotypically female and bonded with them and that's why red pill sites annoy me. They ignore the women who are not the stereotypical.

It takes more patience and effort to find the kind of women who are less regular (I can't think of a better word then stereotypical as I confused people with using the term NT earlier).

We exist. There are many of us. We not a majority, but we do exist and we are ignored and sometimes treated like mythical beings by red pillers. That's what makes us angry.

magz
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14 Dec 2018, 6:05 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

magz wrote:

Then you are in a vicious cycle because being desperate and feeling worthless is the greatest off-putting factor for potential partners (both genders, by the way).

Those are both assumptions. To me, desperate means being willing to go out with pretty much anyone that pays you any attention, and that's not me. I also don't see myself as worthless, but I do see life as worthless if romance and love and dating are out of my reach forever

Could you please name the "both assumptions", because I fail to see two arguments in my post.

And no, I just share my expiriences and observations. You can doubt them, of course, why not? But I'm not the only person who says "if you can't find friends and romantic partner, try to improve other aspects of your life first, friends and romantic partners are more attracted to persons enjoying their lives".
Not to be confused with building a facade, by the way.

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hurtloam
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14 Dec 2018, 6:05 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

XFilesGeek wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

XFilesGeek wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

No, everything in that thread is couched in terms of "in my experience."

This can be said the same for the guys who complain about women.

You are unbelievably biased. lol

Cite specific examples and we'll go from there.

And pot, meet kettle.

This is true. The problem is their points get lost in their millions of self flagellation posts. The women's threads tend to be more to the point.

And women are meant to be more emotional :roll:

Last edited by hurtloam on 14 Dec 2018, 6:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

The Grand Inquisitor
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14 Dec 2018, 6:10 am

magz wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

magz wrote:

Then you are in a vicious cycle because being desperate and feeling worthless is the greatest off-putting factor for potential partners (both genders, by the way).

I don't disagree with building yourself up and finding meaning in other things in life as well as adding to your value as a partner, but when you're depressed that's more difficult to do. I've been trying to improve my life but old habits keep coming back and it's hard to kick them to the curb when I'm trying to add to the 'work' I'm doing on myself, subtract from the pleasures and I don't even know whether it will bring about the results that I want.

hurtloam
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14 Dec 2018, 6:12 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

I also don't see myself as worthless, but I do see life as worthless if romance and love and dating are out of my reach forever

The you are lying to your self. There are many things that make life worthwhile.

I used to think like that too, but my outlook has changed.

I got treatment for my depression, which was step 1.

I changed my circumstances. I'm not in a stressful job anymore. I live in a new town that has lots of things to do. I've met new people and made an effort to arrange outings with them. I've not made friends with all the new people, but one are 2 have become good buddies.

I'm still single. I've had a couple if my disappointments this year in that regard, but even so, my life is fine without love. I can't believe I'm saying that, but it's true. Even with all the health issues I've had this year, I'm still happier than I was.

Ah you posted before me I see. Keep up the good work!

magz
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14 Dec 2018, 6:18 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

So it seems we do agree

I know getting out of depression is very hard. I'm still taking antidepressants. Only my third therapist was able to help me, the two before her couldn't get to me. Yet it was worth it.
And don't subtract from your pleasures, you need them!

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The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Dec 2018, 6:23 am

hurtloam wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Nice point. That really does lend itself to the argument.

Yes, I did bring this up earlier with my "why do you even want an NT woman" comment.

I've met men like this too. Not catty as such, but shallow and married to the kind of women I don't get along with. Interested in money and "keeping up with the jonesses".

The problem is the way women communicate. I don't know if it's inborn or taught, but they can be so passive in telling you what they want.

"Are you getting cold?" A woman may say as she glances at the window. What she means is, "shut the window." But she doesn't want to be direct. Then she gets upset when you say no and leave the window open and you don't know what the hell is up with her. She thinks you weren't listening and don't care about her. Argh.

Not all women are like this of course. But I'm too tired to be bothered with women like that. But I've noticed certain types of women will congregate in certain places. Offices tend to be full of women like that, so I headed for IT and Science companies where the women are wired differently.

I live in a culture where more than 50% of STEM graduates are females, like in other Middle Eastern cultures and Muslim world; in my first workplace which was an IT company with 50+ employees, half of them were females, even half of the engineers (even tho half of them were Christians so the high female STEM rate is not just a Muslim thing, it’s rather an eastern thing)

But I didn’t meet there “women wired differently” as significantly different, I recall well they were women with typical women interests and topics like fashion and shopping. There were instances of women-vs-women bad gossips that got dealt by the HR as well.
In your culture, according to what I found, only 13% of your STEM graduates are females so maybe only the really geeky/nerdy type of women go into STEM in your culture. But in mine, all types of women join STEM fields.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 14 Dec 2018, 6:29 am, edited 2 times in total.

The Grand Inquisitor
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14 Dec 2018, 6:25 am

hurtloam wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

I also don't see myself as worthless, but I do see life as worthless if romance and love and dating are out of my reach forever

Not if I'm going to have to deal with the insecurities that come with feeling undatable as well as the practical aspects until the end of my life. There's a different between not being in a relationship right now and not being in a relationship ever. I can live without a relationship, but only if I have hope that I'll be able to get one in the future, and that precedent hasn't been set. If I looked into a crystal ball and saw my future, and I never end up getting a relationship in it, I'd end my life tomorrow. An existence like that where my desires are so far removed from my reality and I'm forced to witness others able to acquire what I crave just isn't worth living to me, and there is nothing a therapist can do to change that. They've tried.

Just the same way that people have deal-breakers in relationships, this is a deal-breaker for living for me. I've lived with insecurities and an overarching depression about not being able to get a relationship for years, and the only thing keeping me on this earth right now is hope that it will change, and I'm not exaggerating. I will never be fulfilled while I have no prospect of getting a relationship. Good for you if you can be.

The Grand Inquisitor
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14 Dec 2018, 6:30 am

magz wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

So it seems we do agree

The problem is my main sources of pleasure are antithetical to my goals. I enjoy overindulging in unhealthy food and especially sugary drinks, but I really want to lose weight, so I have to stop doing that if I want to achieve a more long-term goal. I don't have that many other sources of pleasure, except for weed and sometimes alcohol, which I now can't have for health reasons.

hurtloam
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14 Dec 2018, 6:32 am

Oh I've given up. I'm not going to meet someone.

I've been told I'm too young to give up yet, but its just tiring. Getting your hopes up then everything falling through... again.

Argh, there's a sting in the back of my eyes as I write this. I dont really want to give up, but im used to living on my own now and cant imagine trying to integrate someone into my life.

But my life is still better now I'm not focussing on needing a relationship or feeling like I need one. It helps not being surrounded by couples. There are more single people to hang out with in the city.

Still. I'd like a male to travel with. I'm going abroad with a group of women soon and I'm dreading it. Could be ok, could be a nightmare. I'm sharing a room with a friend of a friend as well. I can't even escape somewhere... maybe the hotel bar will be solace.

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14 Dec 2018, 6:35 am

XFilesGeek wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

Aaaand this is why women don't tend to participate in L&D

Obviously, we weak women don't know what we want.

We need to be told what we want by big, strong menz!! !

AS men don't know what NT women want.
AS women don't know what NT women want either.

What I find puzzling is why some of you AS women take AS men's grievances with NT women so personally. Do you really believe your own sarcasm here, XFilesGeek?

No one said anything about women being weak, or about men being strong. This site is filled with posts about how hard it is to interact with NTs. When it comes to L&D, it's no different.

Perhaps it's a theory of mind problem. Perhaps some of these AS women don't want to admit just how different WE Aspies all are from neurotypicals, and are trying to latch on to NT Womanhood. Don't take AS men's complaints about women personally. They're complaining about NT women, not you.

And you ladies complain about NT women, too. Really, get with the program here. Try empathy, theory of mind with your male Aspie counterparts.

The Grand Inquisitor
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14 Dec 2018, 6:38 am

hurtloam wrote:

Yeah see, I do have friends but my interest in hanging out with them has dwindled over time. Not because of the friends themselves, but because it all just seems pointless to me. Going to bars or clubs, I'm prone to see couples or people coupling up which is likely to make me reflect on my own chronically single status, which gets me depressed, which leads to me not being enjoyable to be around or enjoying my time. It's not worth it.

I don't play video games much or anything like that either, so I don't really have many things I can even do with my friends other than talk, which gets boring after a while.

XFilesGeek
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14 Dec 2018, 6:44 am

ezbzbfcg2 wrote:

XFilesGeek wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

Aaaand this is why women don't tend to participate in L&D

Obviously, we weak women don't know what we want.

We need to be told what we want by big, strong menz!! !

AS women are women. We understand what it means to be a woman better than you do despite our autism.

It's quite ridiculous to assert that AS women are somehow completely ignorant of the experience of being a woman. And sexism isn't allowed here whether it's directed at NTs or otherwise.

hurtloam
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14 Dec 2018, 6:45 am

I actually want to get back into gaming. I stopped when games went 3d. They make me motion sick, but I've got an urge to see what's out there now.

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14 Dec 2018, 6:51 am

hurtloam wrote:

I actually want to get back into gaming. I stopped when games went 3d. They make me motion sick, but I've got an urge to see what's out there now.

Interesting. I grew up playing the original Nintendo and thought Sega Genesis (or Sega Mega Drive) was so cutting edge. After that, I lost interest in video games and I never cared for the 3-D games when I'd see them in passing. As of late, I've also thought about getting back into video games. Don't know what's prompted it, but I can relate to everything you said here.

We're on the same wavelength on this one. Let me know if you find something you like/what you recommend.

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