Has anyone never had a GF/BF before?

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sex is overrated, being a virgin is cool, save it till you get married.

I've had one date and it was horrible. No holding hands, kissing, and certainly no sex. I don't ever see myself in any relationship.

I've had :
- a handful of dates that led to nothing
- a relationship of 3 months with a girl I met through someone I knew from ICQ
- a "one-day-stand" with a close (female) friend
- a relationship of 10 months with a girl I met using ICQ
- a relationshim of 3 months with a girl I met through the person who introduced me to my first girlfriend
- a relationship of 6 years (3 of which we lived together) with a woman I met using MSN messenger
- a relationship of 5 months with someone I met using a Social Networking site

I'm 28 now. Without the Internet I may have been a virgin like so many of you, but luckily I found ways to use the Internet to my advantage when it comes to dating.

18 years old. Never had anything not even a friend that's a girl

Don't worry. I never had any female friends either at that age either. Now I have 5 exes and two lesbians as best friends who they're eager to help me find an actually stable relationship

18 years old. Never kissed, held hands, dated, nothing. If I can recall my school years, most girls that had to sit by me acted as though I had some kind of toxic disease and freaked out if I even walked near them. If I ever did a nice thing for a girl or girls, they would titter and (if I'm not mistaken) made all kinds of rude remarks about me. Basically, I was a walking, talking abomination, and at times, I still feel that way.

25 and never had a relationship. I've been on two dates. I get out asked sometimes but I attract creepies and crazies (one guy who asked me out turned up on the sex offender list in my area and another ended up murdering someone) plus lots more. My friends used to try the blind date set up crap with me but after I got mad they stopped doing it.

I'm not that into dating anyway, don't really see the point in it or what is so great about having someone in your space all the time. I know women and men who can't live if they have to spend 5 minutes apart from their boyfriend or girlfriend and it makes me want to throw up. If I ever become that dependant on somebody, I want to be slapped, because that's just pathetic. Also, I can't imagine any man putting up with all of the bullcrap I have and I can't see myself wanting to put up with having someone want to see me everyday.

Unless finding a significant other becomes one of your autistic obsessions your doomed in becoming the proverbial 40 year old virgin. (not that theirs anything wrong with it.)

If may I borrow a metaphor I see NT women as Alfa Romeos sure they can be a lot of fun and highly desirable though think of all the maintenance issues and constant breakdowns is it worth it ? well yes if your Jeremy Clarkson , though he would never recommend one to a friend!

Aspies are like a Toyota Camry, reliable, sensible, practical , yet ultimately very boring no sane motoring enthusiast would buy one or be interested in one.

I don't think an Aspie has to be "boring" and have no strong friendships or relationships per se. In my case, one of my greatest passions has become the exploration of the neurotypical mindset and the differences between "them" and "us", which makes things more exciting both for myself and for the uncommon neurotypical or individual with borderline personality, both a kind of people not in "the spectrum", who're also more inclined to be interested in the exploration of human psychology and who're also more intense and somewhat deviating from the mediocre and (what I consider boring) norm.

Those I consider myself as having been really close with in both the distant and the recent past are mostly people who've endured some major hardship at some periodes in their life. These are mostly highly intelligent people but with a history of violence, verbal abuse, trust issues, sexual abuse often by a parent from a very early age on. Someone who used to be a best friend had a bi-polar mother, one of my best friends today has a cold and calculating father with psychopathic or sociopathic tendencies (at least that's how he described his father on several occasions), an ex of mine had an alcoholic father who hit her as a child and was sexually molested by her now late grandfather when she was only a toddler, etc. Those among this group who have not developed borderline personality distorder often have autistic traits or ADHD-like symptoms and are thus more attuned to our way of thinking, even when they may technically not fall within "the spectrum".

The key with intelligent people who have had to endure so much hardship during their fairly short lives, is that they have a vast amount of life experience most of their peers of the same age lack. They've had to rationalise a lot more than the average "neurotypical" and this increased ability to rationalise makes these people more attuned to the autistic way of thinking and also more openminded to tolerate those who're also deviant from the norm.

Even a physical handicap can lead to a more rationalised way on life because of all the hardship involved. My girlfriend has been in a wheel chair from when she was 12 and this makes her the most rational woman I've ever met. She's a very intelligent neurotypical woman, but through her need to rationalise the hardship she endured from her life in a wheel chair, she aqcuired an ability to rationalise that I've never seen among any other woman I met in my life and this makes her a very interesting person to be with, since she still has both a very high capacity for rational thought I find lacking in nearly all neurotypical women and the femininity I find lacking in many women with autism.

People with Borderline Personality Disorder I find very interesting as friends but less interesting for a relationship. There tend to be very openminded and very intense, but emotionally quite unreliable and pretty high maintenance. The differences in ways of thinking between someone with Borderline Personality Disorder and an autistic person are in my opinion too large to combine for a long term relationship, however they can lead to very reliable friendships once both the person with BPD and the autistic person have matured enough to communicate at each other's level. Both sides can then learn a lot from they way the other perceives the world and where the person with BPD can use the autistic person to increase his or her ability to rationalise, the autistic person can use the person with BPD to increase his or her understanding of human emotions since matured people with BPD tend to be very sensitive for emotional (empathic) input, have an increased ability to detach themselves and are excellent manipulators of other people. We can basically teach them what they lack naturally and they can teach us what we lack naturally. From a purely utilitarian and symbiotic point of view, this is the most useful and deepest kind of relationship when both sides share their views on the world, their fears, their hopes and their dreams.

If I add to these deep friendships and what appears to be an equally strong relationship my strong interests in eg. (currently) human sciences, antiquarian books, programming and movies, (previously) exact sciences, music, graphic design and graphic novels and my desire to redefine myself and my limitations continuously I would say this makes me and my life far more intense than the average neurotypical and his life. While most people may be annoyed by many of the intense parts of my personality and/or still find many of the other aspects of my personality boring I've learned how to find the people who can appreciate the intense aspects of my personality and who like to share some of their intensity with me in return.

I had a girl-friend 1ce & that was about 7 years ago & it was mostly an internet thing. I was not looking for a relationship at the time then. I was upset & making post about how I was frustrated in life & needed to leave the net & for some rezone I hesitated to leave the last forum for a couple minutes & then I noticed a reply & for some rezone I bothered to reply & stayed. We had lots of weird things in common thou & we had crossed paths before in post & I truly felt she was the one person in my life who ever understood me & I could be my true self around. Things ended up falling apart thou for various rezones. We couldn't' be together much offline because of distance & she had some issues with drugs & alcohol & I had some personal issues I was dealing with. I've been alone every sense & I tried finding another girl for the last 6 years with no luck but bad. I gave up because trying fo get a relationship has caused me lots of problems. Women quit being my friends after I asked em out & they started getting really b!tchy with me after. I also had lots of problems at work because I tried asking women out. I did custodial type stuff & a couple of em started having spills whenever I would take my break & they would complain about me & my deportment,ent the whole time I would clean it. I was so glad when they quit. Trying for a relationship these 6+ years has caused me nothing but problems. I never had sex either & having sex is not on my to do list at this pint in my life

I'm 31 and have never had a girlfriend or any kind of relationship. I go on one date about every 2 or 3 years and that's about it.

I've gone through what I consider a successful flirtation - i.e., she flirted back and we talked about dating for a few days before she dropped the "let's just be friends" bomb - but even that much was exhausting and all-consuming of my attention. I'd thought she was socially awkward like me, but I had apparently misinterpreted because she had grown up partly in Asia and thus had some unusual social patterns that were neither here nor there. Still, while I was interacting with her, I felt like a man for the first time in my life. Unfortunately, I could only do that much because of some very helpful circumstances that are unlikely to recur: We were both in a very new and exciting social situation, in an environment that temporarily threw us together, and both had time.

Never had sex, although I've had the opportunity a few times - for some reason my body refuses to cooperate unless I have an emotional connection. I've tried often enough that I can say that much as a hard fact (no irony intended), although I've never had the chance to be with someone I have a connection with, so I don't know if I'm even capable at all. It's one of those sick cosmic jokes, the cherry on the sundae of having Asperger's - denied both a relationship and meaningless sex, although I certainly want both often enough.

I have been in love though - with a girl who was my best friend in high school - but I told her how I felt, and our friendship ended predictably soon afterward. What's tragic is that I fell in love with her for no better reason than that she was around me all the time, so she kind of got into my feelings by osmosis, whereas most contact with others was too superficial and infrequent to create any connection. In hindsight, I think she was an Aspie too - very forward, almost crudely blunt person (which is part of what I liked about her).

Hopefully some day I'll work up the courage to try to date again, and stick with it long enough to at least say I gave it a decent try. I know what kind of woman I like, but I can't say for sure it's the same as the kind of woman who would like me, or that either of the two have anything in common with the kind of woman that would be good for me.

In a way, it makes me happy and sad that at the age of 35 , my er.......V....nity (shhhhhh) can be explained by my social avoidance/potential asd/sensitivity/xx etc and also is replicated by many others' on this site.

We all want what we can't have, don't we?

For me though, I think the idea is going to turn out better than the reality of any such events.

I considered "ladies of the night" but to be honest, that's going to be a deadly disaster and the totally wrong way to do "it"!

Gnomon mentioned the emotional connection........yep, I can agree with that and I can also refer any readers to the classic aspie vid (online animation DIY thingy) where a woman accuses an aspie of looking at her because he wants to have sex with her ...........lol so funny. Aspie's words........"why would I want to have sex with you, when I don't even know you?"
rofl, the parameters of it are just so fixed.
Everything must be perfect in my mind, but I'm not assburgers though..........more seemingly pdd:nos.

^^^
That is so funny, by osmosis......rofl
I know that feeling as well, familiarity breeds comfort, until it breeds contempt like the "war of the roses"

Me. Never. And I am 31.

Never had a girlfriend. There's some kind of aura around me that turns girls off or I just f**k up whatever chance I get. I would love to be in a relationship, mostly because I need the emotional support and I think sex is meaningless without love.

No. We're more like a friggin' Prius, Honda Insight or Saab. We're weird, quirky(the Saab looks funny and has a quirky control layout, the Prius and Insight are just ugly) and no one who is concerned about their image(well unless you count being "green" and different as one) would want to buy one.