Afraid of being alone forever?

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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
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14 Apr 2015, 9:09 am

Kraftie is right, I have seen horny women - and not any less than men.

Sex is simply less safer for them, hint: pregnancy; hence more reluctant to act on it.

Gauldoth
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14 Apr 2015, 9:15 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Kraftie is right, I have seen horny women - and not any less than men.

Sex is simply less safer for them, hint: pregnancy; hence more reluctant to act on it.

Of course it is. :roll:

Lazar_Kaganovich
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14 Apr 2015, 9:51 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

But women DO like sex. Sometimes, they want it more than the "average" man.

TOTALLY!

Women are a lot pickier about who they f*ck but certain women have extremely strong sex drives. I've noticed that bipolar women definitely fall into this category whenever they're manic and/or ovulating. The same is true with Borderline women(when they're ovulating).

@Gauldoth: You say you'll believe it when you see it? Well I HAVE seen it. My ex-gf I met last June turned out to be knocked up with her previous partners kid. And yes, the hormone flux during the 1st 2 stages of pregnancy definitely amplifies a woman's libido but during the last stage it makes her a bit too *loose* and it's not comfortable for her.

Gauldoth
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14 Apr 2015, 9:54 am

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

But women DO like sex. Sometimes, they want it more than the "average" man.

Yeah, I'm sure she did. :roll:

The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Apr 2015, 9:59 am

I am sure you're over-using this smiley :roll:

Gauldoth
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14 Apr 2015, 10:00 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

I am sure you're over-using this smiley :roll:

It's the closest thing to a "sarcasm" smiley I could find.

michael517
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14 Apr 2015, 10:16 am

Concerning the OP's (goofygoobers) question about why wouldn't anybody want to go out with her ...

If I was your age, at that time, I would be too scared to ask you out, that you are "out of my league", I would just embarrass myself.

At some point, around 21 or 22, I started to see that if I kept that attitude up, I was going to end up single my whole life, and I better start embarrassing my self. It was not easy to get over.

Fast forward to the year 2003, I was unemployed, so I tried (try not to laugh) telemarketing at a mortgage broker. The job search was NOT going well, and I had reached the point of "whatever I am doing is not working, time to try something else." The bait was if you could get people to give personal info (generate leads) to be passed onto the real brokers that deal with the bank and try to get something to work, then I would get training on that. LOL wow all day rejection Rejection REJECTION. I don't know how salespeople do that. Of course now I get that I was probably talking about myself instead of asking them how their day was and all that stuff. Being a total Aspie. LOL what a recipe for failure.

Lazar_Kaganovich
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14 Apr 2015, 11:10 am

Gauldoth wrote:

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

But women DO like sex. Sometimes, they want it more than the "average" man.

Yeah, I'm sure she did. :roll:

You think that nobody else ever gets laid because you aren't getting any......... :roll:

sly279
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14 Apr 2015, 4:25 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

People with AS =/= like minded people.

yep. so many aspies hold this idea of aspies species or something. that aspies are better and more like minded, the aspie nation thread comes to mind. reality is we are just as different to each other as nts. theres mean aspies, nice ones, ones who hate touch, ones who love touch, etc.

in person I've met 2.
one was a guy at my college we were partners. he was quite violent and mean.
other was a girl who stopped talking to me the second she found out I only worked a temp job.
only ever met a few nice ones on here. so in general I don't understand the whole only want an aspie partner or only aspie friends thing. now I've talked to a nice girl here who i could see being with if not for the distance that makes it impossible. but besides her I don't think It'd work out with most aspies.

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

You need to invite others, sometimes you need to be pro-active.

Look, things will become harder the older you get, after college, forming friendships will become even harder, all people would have already formed their social circles and it would be very hard to penetrate one if you don't have your own.

Think of social circles as ...circles on paper, there are often some intersections between some circles (mutual friends), this how people expand their socialization, if you are just a single point outside of all it would be very hard to socialize so you have to belong to at least a circle.

sadly true but not even that guarantees it. as friends part ways. non of my school friends are around anymore. making friends at a big college would be worse, often they are from all over the world and after school go home.

The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Apr 2015, 5:32 pm

sly279 wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

People with AS =/= like minded people.

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Based on very recent photos I see on my facebook feed, I can tell some who had been friends in college have stayed friends to this day, that's like 8 years.
Yes, most drift apart, especially those who weren't very close, but I can tell that most still have some remnant social circles from there.

In college, my friendship with colleague was....limited, it was very academic, like I rarely got socially involved and I am not that kind of socially-attractive cool. I was often the "Guy for rescue" ....study-wise, like when some colleague had trouble in the Stats course or other hard course, they would call me first for help. Those who called me most all gone 'puff' just after graduation, never heard a phone call from them again even since :lol:

.

I also did the common social mistake several times (something I read later on in some self-help book): which is declining/not-coming several social occasions/outings several times in row (for various reasons, like not liking the event idea or just got lazy in this day...etc), this is a fatal social mistake because if you decline one, two, three and so times, they they would simply stop asking you for good, they would subconsciously assume "he's not gonna go anyway" and bar you from their outing list; keep that in mind Goofy.

jhimmichael
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16 Apr 2015, 3:04 am

Don't think it that way, maybe Mr. right is just around the corner and who knows he is just waiting for the right time. Me personally speaking to you, i was also just like you back in my early days until i heard about cannabismeetnow.com from one of my friend since then my point of view in my life changed....I met alot of people and they helped me overcome my fear of being along forever......go out meet some folks and enjoy what life can offer, dont hide under your shell get out and express yourself.

goofygoobers
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16 Apr 2015, 10:38 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

goofygoobers wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

JP88 wrote:

I think it's inevitable that I will always be lonely. I'll have my buddies to remain sane but it's just hard to imagine ever having a girl in my life. Seriously even if I did at this point, I wouldn't know what to do and probably would screw up not long after.

^ What I even get concerned about is the needed time for a relationship to mature.

Even If I find someone right now, at this right moment, at age 33, I would need at least 2 to 3 months of dating and courting in order to know we're fully compatible, then additional 7 to 9 months of serious long term.

It has to pass at least one year and so in order to move to engagement/more-serious-level - and that alone would need like 1 or 2 years.

That if everything moved smoothly with no down, with no financial shock at some point, with no conflict with her family - at best, it would at least a total of 3 years just to become married/cohabited, I would be 36 at least by then.

The more delayed I start, the more delayed it will end up :-/

So yeah, I would understand why the OP would worry even if she's that young, she's 19 now, but time moves so fast, and she might herself late 20 or mid 30s in this same state in blink of eye.

Goofy, just some small tip/warnings to expect later in life:
- College is best phase to find a potential, seize this chance, even if you have study pressures, seize it. I did this mistaken by not even trying with anyone back then; most of my colleagues got married with people they met at the university, others from early years of workplace but not everyone would be lucky enough to be employed in populated large institutions.

- After college it becomes way harder to find like-minded people in the large world, especially if you're not the kind who can form a lot of lasting friendships easily (because friends help to introduce you to new people). Also, no matter how friendly and likable you are, friendships are in most cases temporary and "seasonal"- it's often no one's fault but friendships naturally drift apart due to life changes/circumstances, so don't bet much on that.
-As I said before, ask your irl female friends.

-I concur that you shouldn't rush, but you should not sit too still as well.

The problem is that I'm having a VERY hard time finding like-minded people in college. There aren't any groups for people with Asperger's Syndrome I can go to, and no one invites me to hang out with them. Even when I try to make friends or ask the people I know for advice, it's always the same answer. It makes me feel sad that there's no one in my area like me. Trust me, I've tried hard to connect with people even with the limited time I have.

When I invite people to do things, they NEVER DO THEM. When I approach people, they NEVER want to initiate ANYTHING. I'm tired of doing all the work in any kind of relationship. I thought this kind of stuff was a two way street. I'm so damn tired of feeling alone and stuck with being the annoying girl no one wants to be around. Do you understand?!

goofygoobers
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16 Apr 2015, 10:45 pm

jhimmichael wrote:

Yeah, that's what EVERYONE says. *eyeroll*

Outrider
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16 Apr 2015, 11:34 pm

goofygoobers wrote:

jhimmichael wrote:

Yeah, that's what EVERYONE says. *eyeroll*

Regarding the whole 'I make the effort but it doesn't work' thing, maybe your classmates think you are 'trying too hard' as they call it.

Maybe they're not worth the effort if it really has only resulted in failure. I think the other posters point is there are people outside of the classroom to meet.

In my personal opinion talking to these people would be a better idea.

Don't waste any more time on these cold people in your classes, your true friends are out THERE, in the world, waiting to be met.

mpe
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17 Apr 2015, 1:29 pm

sly279 wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

People with AS =/= like minded people.

If anything aspies are a more diverse group than NTs. To the point where you can have two aspies who have less in common with each other than either does with an NT.

mpe
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17 Apr 2015, 1:45 pm

goofygoobers wrote:

When I invite people to do things, they NEVER DO THEM.

What kind of things do you tend to invite them to do?

Quote:

When I approach people, they NEVER want to initiate ANYTHING. I'm tired of doing all the work in any kind of relationship. I thought this kind of stuff was a two way street. I'm so damn tired of feeling alone and stuck with being the annoying girl no one wants to be around. Do you understand?!

I understand exactly what you are saying

Which rather goes against the idea of aspie women finding things less difficult than aspie men.
Do you also feel that whilst you are "doing all the work" you have little clue if what you are doing might be right or wrong?

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