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A Self-Made-Man girl discovers that life as a man is harder

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nurseangela
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20 Jul 2015, 4:12 pm

sly279 wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
314pe wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Definition of success in this field: Having a boyfriend/girlfriend (a good one) or getting married.

There're some women on WP.net who can't get any dates and haven't been in a relationships. I don't understand why they don't ever post on 'who has it harder' topics.


Because they've pretty much given up discussing the issue, and they're tired of being told what their lives are like, and that they have no significant problems.

Mostly, women don't even post in L&D much anymore, and stick to discussing women's problems in the Women's subforum.


well that forum isn't very active so either we don't have many women, 20ish or they don't post. its on the low end of activity. general forum seems to be the most active then l&D, politics, heaven and others. general forum is too active I can't keep up with it.


You mean this place is a pickup joint? I don't think there's going to be a lot of action here because from experience on the other forum (AC) a guy Aspie ex-friend said that he couldn't get any Aspie women to hold a conversation with him and for me, whenever I'd strike up a personal conversation with an Aspie guy they never knew how to keep a conversation going and most of the time it took forever for them to PM me back. I thought forums were for just conversing with people about interesting topics. It's a way for me to get my "small talk" needs met. :D

I must add that the Aspie guys I got to know more from PM them several times are now able to contact me back and talk about several different things which means it just takes time to get them to come out of their shells.


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kraftiekortie
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20 Jul 2015, 5:30 pm

LOL.....we do have the BAR within this Subforum! It has beautiful, gentle violet lights and walls, and a nice glass-topped bar. Very comfy place.



XFilesGeek
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20 Jul 2015, 6:42 pm

314pe wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
314pe wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Definition of success in this field: Having a boyfriend/girlfriend (a good one) or getting married.

There're some women on WP.net who can't get any dates and haven't been in a relationships. I don't understand why they don't ever post on 'who has it harder' topics.


Because they've pretty much given up discussing the issue, and they're tired of being told what their lives are like, and that they have no significant problems.

Mostly, women don't even post in L&D much anymore, and stick to discussing women's problems in the Women's subforum.

But why? That doesn't make sense. It would happen much less frequently to those who have never been in any relationships and haven't been on any dates. Why those women who struggle the most don't to post here?


Because it's not worth it for women to post here.

If a woman can't get any dates, she's told she just has to go sit in a bar and look pretty, and is given an obnoxious lecture about how easy her life supposedly is.

I've spoken with enough female posters who have learned to just not bother with this particular sub-forum.


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Fnord
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20 Jul 2015, 7:29 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
[...]

Mostly, women don't even post in L&D much anymore, and stick to discussing women's problems in the Women's subforum ... Because it's not worth it for women to post here.

If a woman can't get any dates, she's told she just has to go sit in a bar and look pretty, and is given an obnoxious lecture about how easy her life supposedly is.

I've spoken with enough female posters who have learned to just not bother with this particular sub-forum.
A lot of men go to bars to pick up pretty women, and a lot of women go to bars to be picked up. So, for the sake of enlightenment, what else do you suggest that women do to "get dates"? Especially those women who are no longer in school, or who find no interesting men where they work.

No, I'm neither being sarcastic, nor am I trying to bait you into an argument.

Seriously, if the "Meet Markets" are left out of consideration, then what else is left for a woman to do?



XFilesGeek
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20 Jul 2015, 7:53 pm

Fnord wrote:
A lot of men go to bars to pick up pretty women, and a lot of women go to bars to be picked up. So, for the sake of enlightenment, what else do you suggest that women do to "get dates"? Especially those women who are no longer in school, or who find no interesting men where they work.

No, I'm neither being sarcastic, nor am I trying to bait you into an argument.

Seriously, if the "Meet Markets" are left out of consideration, then what else is left for a woman to do?


Not my point.

Women don't bother posting in here because they're told all they have to do to get a decent relationship is to sit around looking pretty.

If someone thinks that that's all it takes for a woman to get into a good relationship, they're 1) not terribly bright, 2) emotionally immature, and 3) not worth talking to.


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Fnord
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20 Jul 2015, 11:13 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
Fnord wrote:
A lot of men go to bars to pick up pretty women, and a lot of women go to bars to be picked up. So, for the sake of enlightenment, what else do you suggest that women do to "get dates"? Especially those women who are no longer in school, or who find no interesting men where they work. No, I'm neither being sarcastic, nor am I trying to bait you into an argument. Seriously, if the "Meet Markets" are left out of consideration, then what else is left for a woman to do?
Not my point. Women don't bother posting in here because they're told all they have to do to get a decent relationship is to sit around looking pretty. If someone thinks that that's all it takes for a woman to get into a good relationship, they're 1) not terribly bright, 2) emotionally immature, and 3) not worth talking to.
Okay ... Then what DOES it take for a woman to get into a good relationship? A good man seems to be only half of the process ... maybe even less than half ... ?



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Jul 2015, 1:10 am

XFilesGeek wrote:
Fnord wrote:
A lot of men go to bars to pick up pretty women, and a lot of women go to bars to be picked up. So, for the sake of enlightenment, what else do you suggest that women do to "get dates"? Especially those women who are no longer in school, or who find no interesting men where they work.

No, I'm neither being sarcastic, nor am I trying to bait you into an argument.

Seriously, if the "Meet Markets" are left out of consideration, then what else is left for a woman to do?


Not my point.

Women don't bother posting in here because they're told all they have to do to get a decent relationship is to sit around looking pretty.

If someone thinks that that's all it takes for a woman to get into a good relationship, they're 1) not terribly bright, 2) emotionally immature, and 3) not worth talking to.


Then why the Women's forum is almost inactive?

Nah...XFG, it is not that, the reality is, a WP single girl eventually finds a boyfriend within months so she loses interest to post here.

I can give you names, Cafeaulait for example had been active and posting here for long when she was single, once she got a got, her posts became less till nil.



314pe
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21 Jul 2015, 1:37 am

XFilesGeek wrote:
If a woman can't get any dates, she's told she just has to go sit in a bar and look pretty, and is given an obnoxious lecture about how easy her life supposedly is.

Do you think that majority of women on WP.net have never been on a date? Or is that rare?



sly279
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21 Jul 2015, 1:56 am

nurseangela wrote:
I just woke up and Grumpy is grumpy, Boo. Women don't get to choose their partners either if they are waiting for men to ask them out - they take what they can get too. No one is forced to stay in a relationship, it's a personal decision. You make your bed and lie in it.


maybe it use to be that way. but now adays theres dating sites and facbook and all the clones of them. women now have access to just about all single guys and get tons of messages. they very much get to choose. they aren't going to take something less then their idea as they can just wait for the next guy and see if he is more closer to it.



sly279
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21 Jul 2015, 2:03 am

nurseangela wrote:
sly279 wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
314pe wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Definition of success in this field: Having a boyfriend/girlfriend (a good one) or getting married.

There're some women on WP.net who can't get any dates and haven't been in a relationships. I don't understand why they don't ever post on 'who has it harder' topics.


Because they've pretty much given up discussing the issue, and they're tired of being told what their lives are like, and that they have no significant problems.

Mostly, women don't even post in L&D much anymore, and stick to discussing women's problems in the Women's subforum.


well that forum isn't very active so either we don't have many women, 20ish or they don't post. its on the low end of activity. general forum seems to be the most active then l&D, politics, heaven and others. general forum is too active I can't keep up with it.


You mean this place is a pickup joint? I don't think there's going to be a lot of action here because from experience on the other forum (AC) a guy Aspie ex-friend said that he couldn't get any Aspie women to hold a conversation with him and for me, whenever I'd strike up a personal conversation with an Aspie guy they never knew how to keep a conversation going and most of the time it took forever for them to PM me back. I thought forums were for just conversing with people about interesting topics. It's a way for me to get my "small talk" needs met. :D

I must add that the Aspie guys I got to know more from PM them several times are now able to contact me back and talk about several different things which means it just takes time to get them to come out of their shells.



never said it was. I said and meant exactly what I posted. no sub meaning to it.

I don't think I want a aspie woman. aspies that I've dealt with in person are rude and mean.Well bunch here are too. this forum is proof though that aspies can keep up conversations. or it'd be a lot of single post threads :P
well from my experience its NT's that have that problem I'm always anxiously waiting for them to reply. I reply to pms.messages/ ims emails as soon as I get them. most nts will take forever. this girl my sister knows took 2 weeks to message me. i messaged back its now been a week and she hasn't even read it. idk how nts manage to talk you all must be super patient.

i need to test based communication(im/email/texting/etc) for a atleast a week or more to feel comfortable trying to talk to a girl. I can't just approach her in person see because I get all locked up and barely manage to say hi back. :(



sly279
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21 Jul 2015, 2:09 am

XFilesGeek wrote:
Fnord wrote:
A lot of men go to bars to pick up pretty women, and a lot of women go to bars to be picked up. So, for the sake of enlightenment, what else do you suggest that women do to "get dates"? Especially those women who are no longer in school, or who find no interesting men where they work.

No, I'm neither being sarcastic, nor am I trying to bait you into an argument.

Seriously, if the "Meet Markets" are left out of consideration, then what else is left for a woman to do?


Not my point.

Women don't bother posting in here because they're told all they have to do to get a decent relationship is to sit around looking pretty.

If someone thinks that that's all it takes for a woman to get into a good relationship, they're 1) not terribly bright, 2) emotionally immature, and 3) not worth talking to.


well i think that's wrong, I think what they need to do is go on a dating site and message guys they are interested in. I like when women do that. see lots of men will not message a pretty girl. shes out of our league. if she wants us then its up to her. probably 10 guys per every girl who'd be willing to date her if she asked. there's no women waiting on me.

don't think sitting in a bar would have any more effect then sitting at a library. though often for women just going on a dating site will get you tons of male attention. then its just having to pick from the guys. my sister complains but makes no effort to meet guys.



sly279
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21 Jul 2015, 2:10 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
Fnord wrote:
A lot of men go to bars to pick up pretty women, and a lot of women go to bars to be picked up. So, for the sake of enlightenment, what else do you suggest that women do to "get dates"? Especially those women who are no longer in school, or who find no interesting men where they work.

No, I'm neither being sarcastic, nor am I trying to bait you into an argument.

Seriously, if the "Meet Markets" are left out of consideration, then what else is left for a woman to do?


Not my point.

Women don't bother posting in here because they're told all they have to do to get a decent relationship is to sit around looking pretty.

If someone thinks that that's all it takes for a woman to get into a good relationship, they're 1) not terribly bright, 2) emotionally immature, and 3) not worth talking to.


Then why the Women's forum is almost inactive?

Nah...XFG, it is not that, the reality is, a WP single girl eventually finds a boyfriend within months so she loses interest to post here.

I can give you names, Cafeaulait for example had been active and posting here for long when she was single, once she got a got, her posts became less till nil.


I do hope that's why and she not hurt :S
though if I got a gf I'd probably have less time to post here and less reason to.



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21 Jul 2015, 2:13 am

PMing a girl who lives on the other side of the planet, no matter how great she sounds, seems to be a great waste of time to me.



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21 Jul 2015, 2:28 am

sly279 wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
I just woke up and Grumpy is grumpy, Boo. Women don't get to choose their partners either if they are waiting for men to ask them out - they take what they can get too. No one is forced to stay in a relationship, it's a personal decision. You make your bed and lie in it.


maybe it use to be that way. but now adays theres dating sites and facbook and all the clones of them. women now have access to just about all single guys and get tons of messages. they very much get to choose. they aren't going to take something less then their idea as they can just wait for the next guy and see if he is more closer to it.

A certain type of woman gets tons of messages, or gets asked out a lot in the real world, etc. The same type of woman that most men are chasing. If you happen to like the typical female the most, then bad luck, she'll be harder to catch. And harder still if you are an atypical kinda guy, because she is more likely looking for a typical man.

If your desires in the dating world lie within that top part of the bell curve (e.g. the typical ideas of beauty, the typical gender roles, the typical first date, the typical ideas about commitment, etc. etc.) then you have to compete with all the others top-of-the-bellers out there, and conform to the stupid* system they have set up for dating. That's unfortunately just the way it is.

*IMO



314pe
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21 Jul 2015, 2:31 am

XFilesGeek wrote:
Women don't bother posting in here because they're told all they have to do to get a decent relationship is to sit around looking pretty.

If someone thinks that that's all it takes for a woman to get into a good relationship, they're 1) not terribly bright, 2) emotionally immature, and 3) not worth talking to.

Now you're talking about good relationships. That's different. Being unemployed is not the same as working at average wage job. Similarly, being undateable is not the same as being in less than ideal relationship.



314pe
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21 Jul 2015, 2:45 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
If your desires in the dating world lie within that top part of the bell curve (e.g. the typical ideas of beauty, the typical gender roles, the typical first date, the typical ideas about commitment, etc. etc.) then you have to compete with all the others top-of-the-bellers out there, and conform to the stupid* system they have set up for dating. That's unfortunately just the way it is.

Would you say that people who fail there at the top have it just as bad as those who fail at the lower parts of the curve? They chose to date there, whereas if you fail at the bottom, there's no other place to date. Failing at the top means that you're imperfect. Failing at the lower parts, means that nobody finds you attractive enough to sit beside you at the movies.