I'm running out of time

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Have you lived in the real world and taken your head out of the media? Plenty of average people are in relationships.

British TV is a bit better at having a wider representation of different types of actors. They don't need to be stunning to get casted. Benedict Cumberbatch or Olivia Coleman spring to mind. Neither are attractive. Both are married and have recognition for their skills. Looks aren't a concern.

But all the best freaks are here.

I would add going outside and enjoying nature. Experiencing all the amazing things around us for free. I am lucky to live in a green city. I can walk to 3 different parks anytime I want. I drove to the beach and had a paddle in the sea last week. Getting your bare feet on earth, sand, grass is good for the soul.

Have you seen Amelie? There's pleasure in so many things like the feeling of lentils running through your fingers.

There is so much to being alive that is good and can be enjoyed simply without any of societies concerns.

Yes, this is very true. This is not even about pleasure, these things are fundamentally beneficial and trigger processes and gene expressions that not just give us pleasure, but make us happy on deeper level, increase our capacity to experience positive emotions.

Many people on the spectrum avoid activities associated with these factors due to social implications or sensory overload and this is one of major factors contributing to onset of depression. This stuff makes us happier even when we don't enjoy it at all.

Either neither of you have been outside recently, or you have and the scorching heat has completely fried your brains.

Not all people here live in regions affected by heat wave and current heat wave doesn't mean these factors are not important in normal conditions.

Don't let your depression make you look like a dumb a**hole.

Now you're just arguing for the sake of arguing. The heatwave (I assume that's what you mean, I'm in the UK. It's raining) this heatwave will end and you can comfortably go outside again. When you can, go, and enjoy it.

In order to maximize your finances, you have to already have money. I cannot pay my debt because I have NO money. I cannot save anything because I have NO money.



As I've already explained, my depression makes it impossible for me to lose weight.



None of that will make any difference, because the stigma associated with having autism supersedes anything I can do about it. I know this from many years of personal experience.



I have no way of knowing what constitutes as fit as someone can be to your satisfaction. However, I somehow doubt that you would consider what actually is realistic satisfactory if I were to achieve it.

I was fit when I was in my early 20s. For example, I played volleyball and some other sports games with friends in college. One time we played a game that was similar to soccer but it also incorporated elements from baseball and bowling. It did involve a lot of rigorous running. We played for hours. After a while people started getting tired and dropping out of the game, until I was one of the only two people still playing and I kept on going. Is that fit enough for you?

For most of the past 20 years of my life I did not own a vehicle, so I had to do a lot of walking. I walked to work and back every day. I walked whenever I needed to go shopping. On average, I walked several miles a day. I walked because I had no other options. Is that fit enough for you?

And despite being fit when I was younger, still no woman ever wanted to be with me.

And I did know plenty of men significantly less fit than me who still attracted partners. One that comes to mind is a guy named Eric. This guy was huge. Had to be over 400 lbs. Much fatter than I've ever been at any point in my life even when he was in college in his 20s. And he had an attractive girlfriends that he later married. And that's just one example. So basically I still couldn't get a girlfriend even when I was fit, while other men could still get girlfriends despite being morbidly obese. So fitness clearly has no bearing on this matter.



I was not depressed in my early 20s, but women still didn't want to date me then either.

I've known men who were morbidly obese who had girlfriends. I've known men who struggled financially who had girlfriends. I've known men who struggled with depression, bipolar disorder, and/or schizophrenia who still had girlfriends. So clearly none of these issues have anything to do with why I can never get a girlfriend. There is only one population in which the chronic inability to attract a partner is consistently present, and that is adults with ASD.

Do you have income? Do you have expenses? This is what you can optimize to have SOME money left every week/month to pay out your debts and/or save.

If you have debt you can even start with optimizing your debt, find ways to restructure it and take some action to reduce interest rates.


Then you should start with addressing your depression first.


No it doesn't I know this from many years of personal experience and from observations of people who made it despite this stigma, some even use being on the spectrum as part of their identity and as leverage to achieve their goals.


Why are you asking if you are fit enough for me? The question you should ask if you are fit enough for women you want to be attracted to you. But anyways, I think no, in general walking several miles a day is much-much better than nothing, but it doesn't make you very fit in terms of attractiveness.

Like a lot of people on the spectrum you are most likely a late bloomer. Probably by the time you reached maturity to be attractive to women you already got depressed and lost your best shape.


Every person has strengths and weaknesses. If someone makes it despite having some weakness due to having some other strengths doesn't mean this weakness has no bearing on this matter.

It could be one of your strengths, but you rule it out based on this flawed logic.


No, there are many men with ASD, who have girlfriends.

So you're doing nothing to achieve a partner and you're surprised that you're single.

The only thing wrong with you is your negative attitude which you have complete control over.

I'm sorry about your pain. I hope that you can find something in life to enjoy

Are you seriously implying that someone can get an accurate depiction of life from watching TV or reading a magazine? Media makes money by marketing false and inaccurate images and getting you to aspire to those imagines. Do you not know this yet? Do NOT let media tell you how the world does or should work.

I stand by my statement. Neither youth nor fitness are the most important considerations in a partner, and not everyone is obsessed with them as factors.

Look, dorkseid, I understand you are depressed and frustrated, but it does not mean your future cannot be different. I see you over and over getting in your own way, and while I realize you aren't capable of seeing what I see, I hope that someday you get past this phase and realize what I've meant.

There are women that need more than anything to simply be with a man who understands THEIR pain and frustration, and who they feel shares some elements of that pain and frustration. Are you capable of doing that? Yes? Good, that is all you need to be able to offer something to the right person.

I've never pretended that finding that right person will be easy. It won't be. In many ways its pure luck. And there are no guarantees it will ever happen. Which is why building a life you can be happy in alone is so important. Doing so covers two bases: building a life for if you never meet that person, while also increasing the odds that you will meet that person.

We also know that you will never encounter that person if you don't get out in the world and allow yourself to meet people, or if you shut off those you do meet.

Take some nice walks when the weather allows it. Visit a favorite outdoor spot. Let nature start to help you heal.

No, I am not saying that television offers a realistic depiction of life. What it offers is the depiction of life people want to see. The media sells that image because it's the image people want.

If what you are saying is true, then explain why Badrobot and others keep insisting that getting fit will fix everything? Keep in mind that he just stated that regularly walking several miles a day is not considered fit enough to attract women.

I personally think the media sells the images that it wants people to want. Even when it reflects instinctual preferences, it plays to the worse of them, not the best of them.

Posters are trying to give you something tangible to do that can fix concerns you, yourself, have stated. If your self-confidence is down because of your weight, changing your weight will help your self-confidence, and having more self-confidence is likely to increase your odds. Plus, working out will make you feel better, overall, and that is a good thing. It will help mitigate your depression and make you feel better about yourself. Do it for your health, not because you think society demands it, and not because you think it will attract women.

Walking is a great way to start. It just ... feels GOOD. Helps people sort out their thoughts and find solutions, too. Maybe not the first day, but it will. If it inspires you to take other actions to improve your overall health, all the better.

A few small changes can be a start to enjoying your life more, and perhaps getting more of what you want out of life. Worth a try.

Also, I've never said the superficial items are complete non-factors. They can do a good job of attracting customers to your store, so to speak. But they aren't the most important, not at all. Ultimately a store will make or break on the desirability of what it sells, not the lure of its advertising. The same is true with people: what is inside matters the most. With relationships, it's all about if your piece of the puzzle fits with theirs, even if you're the moldy piece decaying in a dark corner.