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zen_mistress
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02 Jun 2011, 12:01 am

GoatOnFire wrote:
MXH wrote:
I find PUAs to be disgusting. But I can see why the members here who are tortured daily would want to try it out.

The reason why they want to try it out.
zen_mistress wrote:
I agree that both sexes can be manipulative. However, PUA artists are more likely to suceed with their manipulation techniques with someone who is oblivious to them.

It works. And it will continue to work until more women become more educated about it. As they say education is essential. Ironically, by posting these topics the furry hatters are actually undermining their own cause by educating women who would otherwise be oblivious.


Yes, this is true :) .


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MXH
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02 Jun 2011, 12:02 am

hyperlexian wrote:
MXH wrote:
The flirting etc is ok by my book, id have told you to stop if it wasn't.

ahhh ok, i just didn't want to be offensive as i can push things too far. you should have a safe word lol


Like I said, I'll let you know but considering everything I doubt I will find anything you say offensive.



trojan51
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02 Jun 2011, 12:16 am

There has to be another way to get quality women then PUA techniques, because i really dont want to have to use them.



guywithAS
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02 Jun 2011, 12:18 am

none of the recent posters know what the material really is.

its simply a way of documenting the dating process. thats it. if a guy is good there is zero difference between him and a normal guy who is experienced with women - actually the main difference might be that the normal guy makes the girl less comfortable.



spongy
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02 Jun 2011, 12:40 am

guywithAS wrote:

it also had the rather important side benefit of dramatically improving my personality and how easy i am to get along with. its had a dramatic impact on my work relationships as well since everything transfers across. remember, i am a diagnosed aspie, just like most everyone here. (actually i was professionally diagnosed twice, as well as self diagnosed).

It´s great that you have "improved" your personality, I used to do something similar in the past but I got tired of having to pretend that I was a fun, outgoing person... and I started looking for someone who accepts me as I am.
Taking into account most people in the past were mad at me when I couldnt keep up with the "personality" for long Im having more success but to each its own I guess.
guywithAS wrote:
i am convinced it can help any aspie develop emotional maturity, theory of mind and generally become a nice person. and yes, it can absolutely teach you how to get married to the girl of your dreams -- but not just how to find her, once you get good at the material you'll be able to KEEP her and have a HAPPY relationship unlike most people with aspergers who subscribe to the "poor us, we can never get better" school of thought.

Are you sure we are talking about the same thing?. I fail to see how someone could become a nicer person after learning PUA.Unless of course that person realizes the damage PUA does to women and tries to make up for it by being a better person but that doesnt seem to be the case here.

I don´t suscribe to the "poor us we cant get better" but I do believe that there are better ways of earning confidence to be comfortable around women that dont demean them and I plan on doing so for a long time(I already explained my technique of gaining confidence at my first post on this thread)



Ivan_AG
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02 Jun 2011, 5:40 am

I read on another site that men with AS are more likely to turn to PUA for getting better with women.

Some even say that most PUAs are actually aspies themselves!

I can't see Mystery and Neil Strauss as having AS but that's just me.

As for the rest of this thread, I am NOT wearing furry hats to impress ladies!

Nor am I wearing a transparent backpack with a dil** in it!



spongy
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02 Jun 2011, 5:50 am

Ivan_AG wrote:
I read on another site that men with AS are more likely to turn to PUA for getting better with women.

Most aspie men have trouble when approaching ladies at the beginning and need some sort of procedure to improve their abilities to talk to them.
Some aspie men go down the PUA route, others try to find a more suitable way of approaching women that gives them confidence without going into the sociopathic category. Again to each its own.

As for the rest of your message I agree with what hyperlexian said in previous posts at this thread when guywithAS brought the issue up.



Ivan_AG
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02 Jun 2011, 5:55 am

I would like to experiment with some techniques, but my social anxiety is already bad enough.

I mean it's like a vicious cycle. I've found something to try out in public, but I'm too anxious to try it and break the cycle.

I need some friends to be with me before I loosen up, but most of them would not want to participate in this kind of stuff.

They would probably look down on my intentions.



BigK
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02 Jun 2011, 7:05 am

Ivan_AG wrote:
I would like to experiment with some techniques, but my social anxiety is already bad enough.

I mean it's like a vicious cycle. I've found something to try out in public, but I'm too anxious to try it and break the cycle.

I need some friends to be with me before I loosen up, but most of them would not want to participate in this kind of stuff.

They would probably look down on my intentions.


Which techniques?

Any that wouldn't just qualify as "improving social skills"?

What are your intentions? To find a girlfriend or just to get laid?


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guywithAS
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02 Jun 2011, 7:20 am

Ivan_AG wrote:
I would like to experiment with some techniques, but my social anxiety is already bad enough.

I mean it's like a vicious cycle. I've found something to try out in public, but I'm too anxious to try it and break the cycle.

I need some friends to be with me before I loosen up, but most of them would not want to participate in this kind of stuff.

They would probably look down on my intentions.


yes, this is one of the big problems with learning pickup. and if you're an aspie who hasn't been taking care of yourself and don't dress well, the girls won't be very inclined to talk to you. and you miss out on opening that big box of tools.

i'd suggest 2 things:
1. study a lot beforehand so you get more depth
2. find a way to be around lots of new people who aren't close friends, but are in regular groups, maybe a sporting event, a social group or something else. so its not quite as hard core as a bar, but where it won't matter if you do something stupid and embarrass yourself.

btw - anyone who thinks furry hats is the right approach is looking at material which is 5+ years old. they don't generally do that anymore. that was when they were analytically testing response rates with different outfits. the furry hat must have performed well, so they kept up with it. (not quite how a normal person would think about fashion). but they look pretty normal when they go out now, just a well dressed group of guys.



Erisad
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02 Jun 2011, 7:43 am

I guess I should just reject any guy who starts hitting on me out of the blue out of fear of being manipulated for sex. If he seems like a scumbag PUA, then kick him in the nuts too. Sounds like a good plan to me. :/



spongy
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02 Jun 2011, 8:00 am

Erisad wrote:
I guess I should just reject any guy who starts hitting on me out of the blue out of fear of being manipulated for sex. If he seems like a scumbag PUA, then kick him in the nuts too. Sounds like a good plan to me. :/

You should be fine as long as you call the cops as soon as you notice a random stranger checking you out. :).



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02 Jun 2011, 8:06 am

spongy wrote:
Erisad wrote:
I guess I should just reject any guy who starts hitting on me out of the blue out of fear of being manipulated for sex. If he seems like a scumbag PUA, then kick him in the nuts too. Sounds like a good plan to me. :/

You should be fine as long as you call the cops as soon as you notice a random stranger checking you out. :).


As long as he doesn't talk to me or make any creepy advances, that should be okay. Geeze, this thread is making me worry that all the men who will ever talk to me will be PUAs and I won't be able to tell them apart from guys that are genuinely interested. This is why PUAs shouldn't exist. It makes it hard to tell a scumbag pretending to be charismatic and nice from an actually good person. D:



guywithAS
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02 Jun 2011, 8:07 am

i'm a PUA and i hope to soon meet the girl i will marry and spend the rest of my life working to make her happy.



Erisad
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02 Jun 2011, 8:09 am

guywithAS wrote:
i'm a PUA and i hope to soon meet the girl i will marry and spend the rest of my life working to make her happy.


Just don't mention that you're a PUA to the girl, otherwise she'll probably think you're scum. :/



spongy
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02 Jun 2011, 8:14 am

Erisad wrote:
spongy wrote:
Erisad wrote:
I guess I should just reject any guy who starts hitting on me out of the blue out of fear of being manipulated for sex. If he seems like a scumbag PUA, then kick him in the nuts too. Sounds like a good plan to me. :/

You should be fine as long as you call the cops as soon as you notice a random stranger checking you out. :).


As long as he doesn't talk to me or make any creepy advances, that should be okay. Geeze, this thread is making me worry that all the men who will ever talk to me will be PUAs and I won't be able to tell them apart from guys that are genuinely interested. This is why PUAs shouldn't exist. It makes it hard to tell a scumbag pretending to be charismatic and nice from an actually good person. D:

I thought that you were joking and made a joke response(even added a smiley at my post to point it out and Im not fond of smileys).

You should be concerned about the intentions of those approaching you in a context related to dating, most people nowadays are and most males expect their intentions to be questioned when they are approaching a female that isnt a friend of theirs or anything.

I have to agree on the part about being difficult to tell the difference from a real nice guy to one thats just pretending pretending to be nice and Ive been confused as a PUA when I was too nice to girls. I guess the thing is about trying to find a medium point.