Feeling ugly, flat chested and that I'm not good enough

Post Reply New Topic

Don't mind them, Emo. A lot of us here think you're very attractive how you are and I'm sure your bf thinks the same. He's a young guy, though, and clearly has to work on his empathy and other things. Either you accept that and work through both your insecurities and his understanding of what is/isn't acceptable in relationships or you move on, get some counselling, explain problems to a new guy once you are settled in a bit and try again.

A lot of these conflicts you are having are internal, and definitely not helped by a young man that also has a bit of growing up to do. I used to have such conflicts about myself with my privates, and can say this - some girls saw me as big, others saw me as small, others saw me as average so its really down to the person's own perception. But the ones I went out with were quite happy with whatever size I am and to be honest that's the best you can hope for. Girls liking other guys bulges doesn't automatically make my bulge less bulgy, no more than your guy looking at big boobs makes your boobs any more inadequate. I know it's easier to dismiss such comments as "crap to make you feel better" but to be honest that's all we can give you here. After a certain point we will start to assume you are fishing for compliments, so after this many pages the best thing to do would be to assess what has been discussed and make your next move

Take care

So the love of your boyfriend is not good enough? No, you say want the adoration of most men.
And how would that make your boyfriend feel? Inadequate perhaps? Like he's not good enough?

My boyfriend is enough for me to want in return. Don't demonize me and claim I'm cheating or whatever you're getting at, for wanting to be attractive to everyone - I wouldn't have sex, etc. with anyone else. I just want to be considered pretty, by other people and myself. Also, I want other people to see me on my boyfriend's arm and think "Wow, he's lucky, he must be a great guy." I want my boyfriend to be able to flaunt me and be proud, which he already is of me but if I'm not proud of my body part of the feeling seems missing. And this isn't just about validation from other people - it's about how I feel about myself, too.

If you want a boob job, get a boob job.
But there's no need to be so conceited as to pretend that you are getting it for him or for anyone else.

I know how you feel. My mother has a double D so all my life I thought: 'When I grow up I will have big boobies just like my mommy!'. Unfortunately I ended up with an A cupsize. My dad and brothers are very much attracted to breasts and always talking about women they know with big boobs and eventually all three look at me and suddenly stop talking and burst out into a laughter. It's very offensive when they do that. But hey, not all men love women with large breasts... Neither do you need them to look feminine. There is so much more you can do!

For example:

- Although push up bras will not fulfill a miracle, at least they emphasize your breasts a little bit.
- Colors: Do not wear too much black. It can be very classy, but it is also used by fat people to disguise their bellies. So you can guess what it does to your breasts as well, right? Instead choose flashy colors like red and green (but not together or you'll be a Christmas tree).
- Do not wear hoodies! They can be very comfortable (I'm wearing one now, but have no intention to go outside today), they're also masculine. Save them for watching tv at home and studying.
- Do not wear t-shirts with a round neck. They look very masculine if you are small breasted. I never buy them because they look ugly on me. Instead, wear shirts with a V neck, U neck or turtlenecks. They look very feminine!
- Always dress feminine: dresses, skirts, heels and anything that shows off those pretty curves and hips will make your inner goddess awake and take all the attention away from your chest.


Good luck!

P.S. If that is really you on your profile pic, I think you needn't bother. You look very pretty!

I have some goodies that are tight-fitting and feminine. Honestly I don't really like wearing V-necks because I feel like they emphasize my lack of cleavage. Also, I don't believe in padded bras, I consider them a form of lying - as in when you take off your shirt your breasts aren't the same size, whereas implants actually fix the problem.

Also: I appreciate the compliment, but that's Taylor Swift, my favorite singer! A link to a pic of me is on page 9 of this thread.

Years ago I was with a gf at her college and a group of her friends. Out of nowhere she saw a guy I didn't know and said "Wow, David's (or whoever's) brother is really fit!" and all of her friends were aghast and said "But your boyfriend is right here!"

I replied with "I don't care, its true, he is"

Of course I could have had a go at her about it, I could have blamed her for reminding me that I am not the most perfect man on planet earth, and I could have unnecessarily tormented her life as a result....

But I knew that would have merely reminded her that indeed, I am not the most perfect man on planet earth and that other options are available. I'm not having a go at you, but I don't believe you have thought this through as fully as perhaps you should. There are lots of sources of distress out there, but it sounds like your bf is someone to be cherished and not punished for something that really isn't his fault. He will never be perfect, but he can quite easily be gone. Although it sounds like he will do his best to help you through these issues which is promising for you both.


All the best x

"My boyfriend said they should be wherever men can, but that they "shouldn't be mad if [he checks] them out."

I don't understand why you would get offended or worried about this, girl. He didn't say he prefers girls with big tittays. He just said he would check them out. That means: weather they are big or small. All men would probably do this. He doesn't say anything about his preference.
I have 32E, and believe, that's not always nice. There are many many many guys that prefer girls that are 'finer' and smaller chested. Most guys find shape much more important than size anyway.

Your boyfriend loves you and that includes your boobs.

Please google images for Twiggy,she was on the cover of Vogue.
Until you learn to love yourself you will always be unhappy.
My friend's mom was small breasted,instead of thinking she wasn't all that she wore t- shirts that said"Little bittie tittie committee,"she was a very sexy woman.
You can get one thousand replies that you are lovely the way you are,but unless you believe it yourself, it will never be enough.

First of all: you don't know this, for all you know he likes smaller breasts or he doesn't care about breasts that much at all.
Second: you need to get over your boobs issue. Is he obsessed with boobs? No? Well then why are you?

Look, I have long curly brown hair and an round hips. Perhaps my boyfriend fantasizes about raven straight haired flat-assed women as well. Should that make me insecure? I could get insecure about anything then, couldn't I?
Boobs are just a mere physical feature.

Besides, people are always gonna have another 'type' besides you.

He says my boobs are perfect size for him but it still bothers me. I feel like he's lying somehow.

And how is him saying in front of me that he wants to check out other topless women "not his fault"?

Once again, it's all in your head. MissLizard said it best, if you don't learn to love yourself the way you are you will NEVER be happy - not alone, not with your boyfriend, not with anyone else.

NEVER. At this point, I don't think a boob-job would even help - that paranoia has already spread to fearing your vagina isn't tight enough, your tummy not hard enough, not enough, not enough, NOT ENOUGH...

This is pretty severe body dysmorphia... if you can't get this under control it'll ruin your whole life - physically and mentally.


This has NOTHING to do with anything your boyfriend or anyone else says/thinks/feels - it's all you. YOU must deal with the thoughts in your head before they destroy you!

Well,if Johnny Depp or George Clooney(or whoever you think is hot),walked by in a swim suit you wouldn't even sneak a peek?
If the answer is no,you have no ovaries.

No, I don't think anything but my flat boobs are wrong with me right now. I simply know how birth can ruin your body and, if need be, I want to fix my vagina if it stretches and gets gross, as well as my other parts. I don't see anything wrong with wanting to fix something IF it gets ruined.

If i'm honest you probably think more about boobs than your boyfriend does. A sign that you should indeed seek to address what is as Max said likely body dysmorphia. It's hard to love others and seek comfort with them when you don't love yourself or aren't comfortable with yourself.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3bNJQvMme0[/youtube]

Totally relevant