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Women asking guys out?

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RetroGamer87
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14 Mar 2018, 4:50 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You have to have minimum set of traits in order to be attractive, conventionally at least , before going into filtering.

All methods involve filtering, no? E.g., as I keep saying, if I make a dating profile with no text, or just a couple of cliches, I'm filtering out the sorts of people who look for information in my profile.

I don't think that will filter out the amazingly good ones. It's actually not that hard to skim through a profile and respond to something she likes. I used to do it dozens of times per day. I guess it took a bit more thought than just saying "Hi" but it felt equally mechanical.

I skip over profiles with little or no text, and I've known guys who do this too. So if I'm an "amazingly good one" to some guy who chooses not to put text in their profile, he misses out on me 8)

Huh? I didn't say that guys shouldn't write a full profile. I just mean that if a guy reads your profile and responds to it it doesn't make him amazingly good. It's a poor method of filtering because any jackass can read through a profile.


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yellowtamarin
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14 Mar 2018, 4:56 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You have to have minimum set of traits in order to be attractive, conventionally at least , before going into filtering.

All methods involve filtering, no? E.g., as I keep saying, if I make a dating profile with no text, or just a couple of cliches, I'm filtering out the sorts of people who look for information in my profile.

I don't think that will filter out the amazingly good ones. It's actually not that hard to skim through a profile and respond to something she likes. I used to do it dozens of times per day. I guess it took a bit more thought than just saying "Hi" but it felt equally mechanical.

I skip over profiles with little or no text, and I've known guys who do this too. So if I'm an "amazingly good one" to some guy who chooses not to put text in their profile, he misses out on me 8)

Huh? I didn't say that guys shouldn't write a full profile. I just mean that if a guy reads your profile and responds to it it doesn't make him amazingly good. It's a poor method of filtering because any jackass can read through a profile.

Maybe we're getting mixed up with filter out and filter in? A blank profile filters out the type of person I'm looking for. Doesn't mean a profile with lots of text filters out all the unsuitable people. The important thing is it allows the right type to find me.



RetroGamer87
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14 Mar 2018, 4:58 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You have to have minimum set of traits in order to be attractive, conventionally at least , before going into filtering.

All methods involve filtering, no? E.g., as I keep saying, if I make a dating profile with no text, or just a couple of cliches, I'm filtering out the sorts of people who look for information in my profile.

I don't think that will filter out the amazingly good ones. It's actually not that hard to skim through a profile and respond to something she likes. I used to do it dozens of times per day. I guess it took a bit more thought than just saying "Hi" but it felt equally mechanical.

I skip over profiles with little or no text, and I've known guys who do this too. So if I'm an "amazingly good one" to some guy who chooses not to put text in their profile, he misses out on me 8)

Huh? I didn't say that guys shouldn't write a full profile. I just mean that if a guy reads your profile and responds to it it doesn't make him amazingly good. It's a poor method of filtering because any jackass can read through a profile.

Maybe we're getting mixed up with filter out and filter in? A blank profile filters out the type of person I'm looking for. Doesn't mean a profile with lots of text filters out all the unsuitable people. The important thing is it allows the right type to find me.

Yes I think we mixed up filter out with filter in but I didn't say anything about filtering profiles by the amount of text he wrote, what I meant was filtering by whether or not he read your profile. I'm sorry if I was unclear.


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yellowtamarin
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14 Mar 2018, 5:15 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Yes I think we mixed up filter out with filter in but I didn't say anything about filtering profiles by the amount of text he wrote, what I meant was filtering by whether or not he read your profile. I'm sorry if I was unclear.

Okay nah that's not what I was talking about.

What I mean by filtering here is more an automatic filtering, as in, actions one can take that severely limit the chance of someone contacting them / finding them attractive / etc. etc.

E.g.
Wearing a necklace with a cross filters out that athiest-seeks-athiest girl sitting across from him on the train.
Wearing lots of makeup filters out guys who go for natural faces.
Putting a duckface pic in her Tinder profile filters out guys who can't f'ing stand them.



The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Mar 2018, 6:18 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You have to have minimum set of traits in order to be attractive, conventionally at least , before going into filtering.

All methods involve filtering, no? E.g., as I keep saying, if I make a dating profile with no text, or just a couple of cliches, I'm filtering out the sorts of people who look for information in my profile.

Do you have an example of a way to present yourself so as to not filter anyone out?


I don't think it's possible, but I don't get why non-reading or low quality guys would stop message you if you write a detailed profile, they wouldn't care either way.
What is your magic spell that makes them go away?

Do you really pick a very very unflattering picture, like the ugliest picture you ever have? Because you said you receive only few messages and I find this hard to believe.

I don't know why I don't get many messages from those who ignore my profile text, except maybe that I don't look feminine. I have either very short hair or a shaved head, no makeup, casual androgynous clothing...I'm not ugly, but I'm not "typical". I use photos that I think give the best possible representation of who I am. I don't use unflattering pics.


I don't recall you look unfeminine, but you're probably trying hard to look so?

You're fully aware that it's an unflattering look to the very majority of men. Do you really look like this in real life all the time? Even if you go out on occasions or weddings? If not, then you are nitpicking specific pics to make them skip you.



yellowtamarin
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14 Mar 2018, 6:47 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
I don't know why I don't get many messages from those who ignore my profile text, except maybe that I don't look feminine. I have either very short hair or a shaved head, no makeup, casual androgynous clothing...I'm not ugly, but I'm not "typical". I use photos that I think give the best possible representation of who I am. I don't use unflattering pics.
I don't recall you look unfeminine, but you're probably trying hard to look so?

You're fully aware that it's an unflattering look to the very majority of men. Do you really look like this in real life all the time? Even if you go out on occasions or weddings? If not, then you are nitpicking specific pics to make them skip you.

The things I mentioned are what make me look androgynous, not my face or body themselves. Yeah I pretty much always look that way. Maybe once every few years I'll dress up fancy, if I'm forced to, but I mostly avoid it. To put a pic of myself dressed up would be deceptive without a caption that I almost never look like that.

I don't try hard to look androgynous/unfeminine...I'd have to try hard to look feminine, as that doesn't come naturally to me.



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14 Mar 2018, 6:03 pm

magz wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
You can give me 50 bowls of chocolate ice cream, but, seeing as how I hate chocolate ice cream, it's not going to make me "happy." Screaming at me that, "At least you got ice cream!" is a waste of time for both of us.

A point I have tried to make a number of times also, but perhaps never with a useful analogy. I like it.

There are some men in this forum who have indicated they would be happy with any woman, with any type of interest, etc. I get it, they want *something*. But for a man to say women are luckier to get this *something*, just because that man would be happy with it, makes little sense.

Is each individual getting their individual wants met - that is the more important thing to explore, IMO. (And of course, what might be the best solution for each individual, if they're not.)



So finding 1000 apples of varying qualities while you're in the desert with no food, from which few may be edible while others are not and probably a handle of them may be perfect ...... is worse than finding 0 apple in the desert.

And now imagine you're a cat. Apples are no food for you.


But we are talking about straight women seeking straight men. You’re imagine would only work if we talking about gay women who get tons of messages from men.

Boo is right a straight woman who gets tons of messages from straight men has better chance to find match then a straight guy who gets 0 massages. I have 0% chance of s match. I’d much rather have 1000 women message me even if 999 didn’t work out.



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14 Mar 2018, 6:07 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
My point: the typical Wrong Planet guy would read my experience and reply, "So what? If a woman had done that to me, I'd feel FLATTERED and VALIDATED that she was paying attention to me! You girls have it SSOOO easy!"


No, the typical wp guys would say this is a sexual assault.

Stop putting stuff in their mouths.

Most certainly. I had a married woman sexual assault me. I didn’t want it. I had to hid under a bed from her.

I don’t get why we changed from women get more messages =more chances tmfind love, to men here would likemif strange women sexual assaulted them and that we’d not see the example as sexual assault.



sly279
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14 Mar 2018, 6:10 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
We don't want to be with just any woman. We have standards. We just want more choice so we can choose the right woman.

My hypothesis is that for those who have standards, they should do things to attract the right people, not do things to simply attract more people. Attracting "more women" doesn't necessarily put the right woman in that mix.

Is it really "more choice" that you want, or is it the right woman that you want? What if you were able to attract her and only her? You have no choice in that scenario, just her, so is that a bad outcome?


When you don’t attract any women at all, all you can do is try to attract more women.
Something most women don’t seem to experience. There’s lots of guys that will go for any woman so far this I fell most women never experienced not being wanted by a single man 0,non, not a single man.

Feeling like the worst most ugly , most horrible man in the planet can’t be compared to I get so many men I’m not interested in asking me out. I’d gladly take tons of women I’m not into asking me out if it mesnt I’d occasionally find women I do like and have relationships.



sly279
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14 Mar 2018, 6:13 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
We don't want to be with just any woman. We have standards. We just want more choice so we can choose the right woman.

My hypothesis is that for those who have standards, they should do things to attract the right people, not do things to simply attract more people. Attracting "more women" doesn't necessarily put the right woman in that mix.

Is it really "more choice" that you want, or is it the right woman that you want? What if you were able to attract her and only her? You have no choice in that scenario, just her, so is that a bad outcome?

I guess that's not a bad outcome but I'm not sure how to attract the right kind of woman. So far, all of my efforts at self-improvement have only served to increase the quantity of women I attract but not the quality.

Atleast you attract women. You’ve had quite a few gfs and mor dates. It’s unavoiad that you’ll eventually find one that stays for long term. I don’t get messages, dates, or ever had gf. It’s improbable that I’ll ever find anyone.



yellowtamarin
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14 Mar 2018, 7:23 pm

sly279 wrote:
When you don’t attract any women at all, all you can do is try to attract more women.

Not true, but in your case my hypothesis doesn't apply, as you are one of the few who really just wants "any" woman. So my ideas are not for you.



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14 Mar 2018, 7:43 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
sly279 wrote:
When you don’t attract any women at all, all you can do is try to attract more women.

Not true, but in your case my hypothesis doesn't apply, as you are one of the few who really just wants "any" woman. So my ideas are not for you.

How am I one of the few just wants any women?
I can tell you for sure I’m not. I just don’t have super high near impossible standards of what a woman has to be to be with me. More to life then money, possessions or ha Bing ones life together. But I won’t date smoker, dog lover, mean women, reptile owners. I probably wouldn’t work out with a super outdoors woman.

But I can’t find a woman I’d like if not a single woman will even talk to me. Hard to filter from 0.

You seem to see us people with less standards as just willing to date anyone who comes along. I don’t think any guy here is that way, I doubt if someone they found ugly, morals horrible and treated them and others with cruelty and had nothing in common with them came along thst any guy here would date them.

I’m just more open to women. If they don’t like stuff I like it’s not a deal breaker. Trying to find that one perfect person is an unobtainable goal.



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14 Mar 2018, 7:56 pm

sly279 wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
sly279 wrote:
When you don’t attract any women at all, all you can do is try to attract more women.

Not true, but in your case my hypothesis doesn't apply, as you are one of the few who really just wants "any" woman. So my ideas are not for you.

How am I one of the few just wants any women?
I can tell you for sure I’m not. I just don’t have super high near impossible standards of what a woman has to be to be with me. More to life then money, possessions or ha Bing ones life together. But I won’t date smoker, dog lover, mean women, reptile owners. I probably wouldn’t work out with a super outdoors woman.

But I can’t find a woman I’d like if not a single woman will even talk to me. Hard to filter from 0.

You seem to see us people with less standards as just willing to date anyone who comes along. I don’t think any guy here is that way, I doubt if someone they found ugly, morals horrible and treated them and others with cruelty and had nothing in common with them came along thst any guy here would date them.

I’m just more open to women. If they don’t like stuff I like it’s not a deal breaker. Trying to find that one perfect person is an unobtainable goal.

My apologies. I thought that I had read posts where you have said you would.

Would you date an ex reptile owner? If not, that rules me out! I love dogs, too, cos I love all animals. And I can be pretty outdoorsy. Wow, I have no hope! :lol:



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14 Mar 2018, 8:08 pm

I think the main issue with Sly and you is the fact that you live in Australia.

I'm sure Sly would like to date you if you lived in, say, Eugene, Oregon.



yellowtamarin
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14 Mar 2018, 8:30 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I think the main issue with Sly and you is the fact that you live in Australia.

I'm sure Sly would like to date you if you lived in, say, Eugene, Oregon.

Pfft I'd move for love. Geography seems a silly barrier to me. I wouldn't go across the world just for a date though, heh.



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15 Mar 2018, 12:48 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
sly279 wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
sly279 wrote:
When you don’t attract any women at all, all you can do is try to attract more women.

Not true, but in your case my hypothesis doesn't apply, as you are one of the few who really just wants "any" woman. So my ideas are not for you.

How am I one of the few just wants any women?
I can tell you for sure I’m not. I just don’t have super high near impossible standards of what a woman has to be to be with me. More to life then money, possessions or ha Bing ones life together. But I won’t date smoker, dog lover, mean women, reptile owners. I probably wouldn’t work out with a super outdoors woman.

But I can’t find a woman I’d like if not a single woman will even talk to me. Hard to filter from 0.

You seem to see us people with less standards as just willing to date anyone who comes along. I don’t think any guy here is that way, I doubt if someone they found ugly, morals horrible and treated them and others with cruelty and had nothing in common with them came along thst any guy here would date them.

I’m just more open to women. If they don’t like stuff I like it’s not a deal breaker. Trying to find that one perfect person is an unobtainable goal.

My apologies. I thought that I had read posts where you have said you would.

Would you date an ex reptile owner? If not, that rules me out! I love dogs, too, cos I love all animals. And I can be pretty outdoorsy. Wow, I have no hope! :lol:


I probably made some post in depression saying I would but I’ve also made lots about what little standards I have.

That’d be fine. I just can’t be with someone who touches them then touches stuff I use or epexct me to touch them. Which rules out a relationship and living together. It’s not thst I dislike reptiles. They just ichy. I owned a snake once. Snakes are cute. I begged for it. And he was cute, but turned out he was also disgusting :( so he became my family’s snake. I liked looking at him. And I wish I could touched him but eww. Same thing for dogs. Dog owners especially women touch them then touch stuff and me. Eww, and they let them lick all over the face , yeah I’m not kissing some lady who’s been licked by a dog, hygiene, hygiene. And the food sharing with dogs. eww ewww eww.

I love animals from a distance. I stop and save animals. I avoid stepping in worms and slugs etc. I’d just prefer reptiles to remain in the inside of a pet store tank.

I like outdoors, it’s just not all my life likemoutdoor women, I prefer to spend most my time inside maybe go in nightly walks, a hike very few weeks and camping every few months. They want to spend every single last min outside doing physical activities. Bad match. The lady I have a crush in at work is thst way, she’s soooo super cute and playful though.