Anyone terrified of being alone for the rest of their life?

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VA really went downhill when trumpy packed the management with his crooks. biden has not yet gotten around to replacing them.

Had seen much of the staff appear to be inactive in their supposedly jobs , tried hard to look the other way .
As previously they were just as bad if not worse . Had run into a few non English speaking doctors , whom preferred to interact with similiar nationalities of nurse in there own dialect. Which was quite disconcerting.
They were comfortable making small talk , but not technical terminology . .I never returned to see that doctor
Or several subsequent ones. Am eligible for Medicare so was able to pick and choose , but had a hard time finding competent medical help . Until I found the integrative medical doctor, whom generally requested cash , at a great discount .
Good luck with the VA , I know every so often , you can find a good one there ?
Am aware the VA under trump underwent some changes , but that did include being able to see out of the VA network doctors , just had to locate them . Through VAs public accessibility offices .

Do have my own moments of where alittle company in good & helpful to my mind .and try hard to schedule those but a few unscrupulous business owners decided not to reopen parts of of there more public areas of business .
Or things of that nature . Leaving me to my own designs to recreate a new means of socialization limited as it maybe, recent repeated setbacks of appt dates with friends has become a bit more difficult . Due to apparently no fault of my own ?.. leaves me at a loss, as to how to process with a social life. All these relationships were over many years old . Leaving me a bit fragmented recently .

But what do you have to do in your life so it's not considered wasted?

When others remember you laughing.

You’re a bit ahead of the curve to ask that.

I prefer asking “What do I get to do?” rather than “What do I have to do?” I also wouldn’t worry about who considers anything about my life besides myself. For you I think it’s a matter of being grateful for where you are in life and what you have.

Being with a mean girl isn’t necessarily a waste if that’s what you meant. You aren’t defined by your wife. If you have a job and support your family, you’re not wasting your life. My thoughts:

If I’d decided to stay with my ex and started a family, I’d probably have acted the part of a domineering husband because I think that’s what she expected and because she grew up with a father who was like that. I think probably most women enjoy men taking charge and setting the expectations in the relationship and following through. I’m not sure why some women want men to be more forceful about it. But there are those who prefer to test and push the boundaries until men push back, and they show some need for being put in their place. To do otherwise is to appear weak. It’s the show of strength that matters.

By no means do I think that makes it right to be an @$$hole. But it’s also unfair for a woman to behave abusively because she sees her nice-guy husband as leaving a void in the relationship and she thinks she can. Not all women behave that way. It amazes me that in the 21st century women still seem to prefer more traditional structures with men setting the expectation and leading the way and becoming bitter or resentful when they don’t. It’s like how it seems you can’t argue with women; you never win. Well, men don’t win arguments by appealing to logic and common sense, anyway, because most fights that women like that start lack the presumption of either. If those women can’t win with words or screaming, they win by tears because you’re a nice guy defeated by guilt. If you don’t feel guilty, i.e. it’s not actually your fault, then you double down. If you know you’re right, you win by refusing to give any ground, you tell her she’s acting stupid and she better get over it because you’re not falling for it.

I don’t understand why anyone wants to be treated that way. My wife DOES expect me to take responsibility for the direction of our relationship. But she also expects something close to a Biblical model of marriage with both of us cooperating more/less equally. She’d been in an abusive relationship before, and our exes would have been perfect for each other. So mutual respect is a bit of a thing with us. Yelling and hitting is never appropriate. We don’t play games. We don’t punish each other for anything. We accept each other as we are and don’t try to change each other. I’d think that’s what most people want, but it usually seems to end up with one trying to dominate the other.

There is a plus side to staying alone and living by yourself.

I love living by myself and never wish to change it, living with others would be hell on earth to me.

On saying that I'd love to find a man whom can give me an orgasm. Given up on that, sex is so dull, such is life...(seriously. Not being a bitter b***h men are so bad in bed I can't be arsed to put any effort in for them).

Play with life

Its full of s**t anyway.

I’m scared of being alone. I’m 50, I want a guy in my life, I want to be loved & be in love. With everything going on, pain almost everywhere in my body, feeling sooo overwhelmed, having insomnia, now I have colitis, I can’t meet a guy anyway. It not a good time to look for a guy, I’m not in the mood to get to know someone, getting to know someone takes energy. I am talking to someone, I’m friends with my ex-boyfriend.

You seem to be feeling slightly better today? In terms of your post and how you're feeling. My heart breaks for you whenever I read your posts most of the time. But I'm totally the exact same way except with women. No woman would want me they just insult me by lying to me and trying to get my trust only to break it even just moments later. They're so hard to understand.. the ones I have met lately anyhow. It's made me so depressed and feel so worthless and even suicidal over it! I'm doing well though. I have only potentially died or became comatose in the past year.. over the effects of being hurt thinking I was wanted then just to be left feeling perhaps confused, weird and distrusted sort of feeling.

This is why I hurt people, so they'll always remember me laughing.