The importance of looks

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I skimmed over the comments since last night.

The Videos:

My point was that the "Big Boys" song exists and that the topic of big men is trending right now because of a song (not a video). The song is about liking big men - meaning chubby and large. It's not about liking tall men or huge bodybuilders, but when the song started trending on Tik Tok many young women lost the plot and filmed any big man who fit the bill, including some who were very tall or very muscular. I already said that people in the video comments are pointing out this discrepancy, because some women missed the point of the song.

The song started a trend or dialogue among women who agree they like big (chubby / non-bodybuilder) men rather than slender, trim, fit, hardbody types. Of course this isn't all women. It's some women, just like every other demographic. I posted because many men on WP are convinced all women or certainly most women want hardbody types, which clearly isn't true if there is a big trend stating otherwise.

My daughter said women her age (20s) aren't impressed by hardbody types and they see it as a sign of possible eating disorders / BDD. She was referring to men AND women (all genders). Again that's not a judgmental call but I was just stating what she said, on behalf of her many friends in several countries.

I already clarified that I wasn't promoting this trend as being right or wrong, and that everyone can have their own opinion or preference.


Personal Preference:

(Sorry for speaking when Pepe isn't here but I think it's OK)
Twilight and I were stating a personal preference or opinion, when Pepe came on telling us big men are going to die earlier. I asked him to please not make it into a debate because we were still entitled to opinions. I had a feeling it was going to start being scientific, with data and info provided to show our opinions were somehow wrong / misguided. That's exactly what happened when we were given death date stats, and "proof" that our preferences weren't healthy. Then the bell curve information was provided in a condescending / smug way to prove the things we had already been saying (e.g., that all women can have different opinions.) I don't know what other purpose the bell curves were supposed to prove, except that Twilight and I were somehow wrong for saying the same thing Pepe was trying to say, but we were treated as being stupid for saying it first.


Non-Binary:

imo (my life) non-binary has nothing to do with sexuality or attraction, or any of this. If it's different for other NB members that's cool. If Boo identifies as NB, that's cool too. I didn't know, but I didn't read the NB comments yet, so I'm not sure how it applies. KK I might be wrong, but it seems like you think NB people don't act like men or women in bed. While that may be true for some NB it's not true for all, so I just caution you to learn more on the topic since everyone is different (just like autistic people, and people in general are all different.)

Never said NB's "don't act like men and women in bed."

It depends on the person.

No. I didn’t mean “uncaring” in that sense.

I meant not caring if I fit some gender characteristics or not.

Well, thank you Isabella for respecting my NB identity.

At least you haven’t accused me of anything just because I had « Male » in profile previously.

Actually I have just discovered that I can change it.

I didn't even notice you had changed it, until you just posted. ^

I saw something about it in the comments but I was just skimming and didn't read in detail.
Good for you to come out and change your profile, if you feel that way.


Another thing I should state again, unrelated to NB, is that I'm not only attracted to "big guys", football players, or men with tummies. I've said this a million times but I'll say again for the record that I like men who are attractive to me in any number of ways, which could include men who are: short (I even posted a little person), tall, bald, long-haired, short-hair, shaggy-haired, mohawk-haired, dishevelled, glasses or not, tattoos or not, well-educated or not, talented or not, and even rich or not. I've actually stated a preference for men who AREN'T rich or wealthy because money makes me anxious. I dated a homeless man. I've said that I don't like fancy cars and I'd be embarrassed in one. I like all types of men who aren't considered hot by conventional measures.

This thing about "big men" or football types last night was only one example of what I like, and it wasn't meant to sound finite. In fact I often make a point of saying my favourite types of men are the ones who look humble and sincere, but when I say things like that many WP men turn it around and mock me as if I'm wrong and personality is a joke. Then, they reiterate that women really just want men for money.

I'm tired of feeling like a substandard poster because I don't think like some of the men expect me to think. Adding my autism and NB brain makes some people treat me like even more of an enigma, and that's why I wanted to stand up for my own thoughts and opinions last night.

^I’m sure NO ONE thinks you’re a “substandard” poster.

Oh you'd be surprised, Kortie.

No offence, but just the fact that you doubt what I'm saying proves my point.

Where’s the “doubt”? None on my part.

You’re very highly regarded here, and don’t think otherwise.

I don’t believe “substandard” applies to you. Just like there’s absolutely no way that I’m tall.

One can disagree with someone without finding the person you’re disagreeing with “substandard.”

I hope you don’t find me “substandard” because you disagree with me. Disagreements are inevitable.

I've had enough conflict with enough members, on the forum and on PM, to know I'm not highly regarded by everyone. That's fine, and I don't expect to be. I'm just stating a fact which is true. People can disagree with me all they want because that's the basis of debate and I enjoy debating. I might be right or wrong on any topic pertaining to the world around me. I'm admittedly clueless about many things going on in the world, or about pop culture. It just gets old when people try to debate my own experience, or my own feelings. You can't say "NO ONE thinks you're a substandard poster", because many do whether you see it and believe it or not. That's not me having a pity party, but it's common sense that I would know my own experience better than you do.

All right. I get you.

How can I know your experience better than you know your experience?

I’m not THAT stupid

I have no ulterior motive…..I’m just trying to say…..that “substandard” wouldn’t be the term I would use. Because it’s obvious that it’s wrong.

If somebody called me a “substandard poster,” I would disregard it because the remark doesn’t stem from true knowledge of me.

People say wrong things about me, and have wrong impressions. It doesn’t mean I take these things to heart.

It's all good Kortie. I don't think you intended to upset anyone. I just woke up and scanned the updates and thought I should likely comment on everything new. I doubt I'll even go back and read the thread again because it seems we got our point across, and I think Boo seems satisfied with how it turned out.