Following the Weight bandwagon.

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Huge bottom? I can't see any huge bottom. Which is a shame, as I like big ladies' bottoms.

I'm not a polyglot.

I'm only bilingual.



Edit: well, I used to be, but now I think I'm just "highly fluent."

It must be true what emuman100 says. I'm a robot.

I've gone rusty. I need a good polish.

Last edited by all_white on 30 Mar 2011, 2:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm so sorry, I never meant it like that What I mean was that nerds like me can't get women, and the stereotypical nerd, being very good with technology and engineering, people joke that he can build his own woman robot because he can't attract a women. I never meant that you act like a robot, just that what you said sounded like the perfect, ideal woman that any guy would want, and because a nerd can't attract a women, he'd want his woman robot to be like the perfect, ideal women. It was meant as compliment, and I'm so sorry for the misunderstanding. And I must say, you look very beautiful, even though you blanked out your face.

I don't have an interest in robotics, and would never want an actual women robot, if one were to exist. People always joke that since I love electronics and am so terrible at picking up a woman, that I would "build" my own woman instead, in the form of a woman robot. Taking that further, I'd want to make this "robot" like the perfect woman, and what you described seemed like the perfect woman to me, which was why I said what I said before. Again, I'm so sorry for the misunderstanding, I wish a lot of women were more like you.

I couldn't see any huge bottom either. To be honest, I was disappointed, I was looking forward to seeing a huge bottom, as I quite enjoy them myself.

I wasn't implying my bum was visible in that photo. It wasn't. I have no desire to post a pic of my bum on the internet in view of a bunch of random strangers. Why would I do that?

No one gets to see my bum...except the man who carries me off on his white horse to be his female robot.

So that you might get suitably admiring comments back? Depends how much of a sleaze you are, I guess.

And no, no-one here gets to see my bum here either. No-one that's ever seen it wants the image permanently etched into the brain like some horrid gross-out movie…

I know you weren't encouraging her to go out and look for a monster, and I'm quite certain you didn't knowingly marry one. (Although obviously, you were broken and helpless and exhausted and desperate at the time, so you probably weren't all that picky. Or perhaps you were just more hopeful that things would work out because you really needed them to work out? People can make poor choices when faced with the situation you were in - disabled or not - desperate times lead to desperate measures.)

However, it does seem to me like you're encouraging her to look to a man as a solution to her problem. I hope she'll explore all of her options before settling on that one. We've both been down that road, right? We both know that having a husband doesn't mean rainbows and happiness. We know that you can pick the wrong guy and instead of finding someone to build a life with, you end up staring down the front grill of his car as he tries to run you over. I've never had a man pay a bill of mine in my life. I adopted a child (and will probably adopt more), and I pay all of her bills, too. I've only ever wanted a man in my life for friendship, companionship, to laugh with, love, sex....someone I could count on to be kind to me. I've never dated that guy. I always pick the guys who - like your ex - seem to be charming (and sexy and funny and hot for me) - and then morph into petty, hateful, abusive jerks. I've seen this particular story end the same way, for far too many women.

So no, it's not so bad that you identify with her, I just don't want to see her go from the frying pan into the fire - you either, for that matter. IMO, just about any option would be better than that.

Everything else you say makes sense, except for this part. Erisad didn't post a message saying: "help! What shall I do? I need some ideas" leading me to jump in and say: "here's an idea. Look for a man to support you."

It wasn't like that. She had already stated that she wanted to lose weight specifically so she could get a man, marry, and move away from her mum.

I wasn't egging her on; it was her own idea. She's clearly planned it all carefully. All I was doing was jumping in to say that I knew how she felt and defend her, because I've been in the same situation.

Whether or not Erisad decides to get a job and support herself, or marry and become dependent, is unlikely to be decided by advice from strangers on an Internet forum. I'm sure she's capable of making her own decisions, but you're making it sound like I've manipulated her into suddenly making her life take a whole new path, or something!

I've heard that story with so many women. Why don't you try going after the nerdy type? They're usually charming and funny, usually not sexy or hot, but tend to stay charming and funny.

The only safe way is to not go for charming at all.

Er - wrong.

My ex-husband was a nerd. He was the biggest, most humungous nerd I have ever met in my whole life. In retrospect, I now think he was an Aspie, as well.

We had loads of fun together. I actually had a playmate. It was great. For the first six months.

We flew kites and played tag and made up silly songs and did all sorts of fun stuff...

..but then he went all mean on me.

Being a nerd is no guarantee you won't turn out to be a lying, cheating scumbag. In fact, in his case, it just made it all the more probable.

See here to find out why:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf139614-0-30.html

Interesting thread. I am just out of a relationship too. But I cant really talk about it online. Anyways, I think it is far better to be single than to be in an unsatisfactory situation. Also it is not good to compare oneself to other women who the ex is going after. It is better to try and find own good qualities.

Fair point, but, if you're referring to me, I wasn't the one doing the comparing.

My point in that other thread I linked to is that nerds are often so desparate that they'll take the first female that comes along, and genuinely imagine themselves to be in love with her.

Then, once the novelty has worn off, they'll start to look around in a daze and think: "hang on. If I could get this woman, I could get another one. One who's really my type."

Not all nerds are like this, of course. I am basing my observation on one experience. I am sure some nerds are loving and tender and faithful. But everyone has a type. Deep down, we all have a type. So why not set your sights high, and go for what you really want?

It avoids hurting people.

My ex-husband thought I was great at first, but then he regularly told me that my legs were too short, my boobs were too big, my bum was too large, etc etc etc. All this hurt and pain and cruelty could easily have been avoided. Basically, he is NOT attracted to the classic hourglass curvy female. He wants the boyish kind.

Now if only he'd told me that before he agreed to marry me and make my life a misery!

Basically, I had two options: develop a complex and starve myself and try to be what he wanted, or tell myself "I'm just not his type" and hope that some day another guy would come along who actually liked big boobs.

I was merely noting that the other woman had all the features that my husband had spent our entire marriage yelling at me for not having.

Yes. I know exactly where you are coming from. But when you look at that guy, ask yourself, was he really what you wanted, or were you also settling?

Well @all_white, maybe we can agree to chalk some of this up to a misunderstanding between you and I. I know you didn't broach the idea of marriage as a solution, but you did say "In her case, finding a man is a necessity, not a luxury." So that led me to believe that you believed that was her only option.