zen_mistress wrote:
Also it is not good to compare oneself to other women who the ex is going after.
Fair point, but, if you're referring to me, I wasn't the one doing the comparing.
My point in that other thread I linked to is that nerds are often so desparate that they'll take the first female that comes along, and genuinely imagine themselves to be in love with her.
Then, once the novelty has worn off, they'll start to look around in a daze and think: "hang on. If I could get this woman, I could get another one. One who's really my
type."
Not all nerds are like this, of course. I am basing my observation on one experience. I am sure some nerds are loving and tender and faithful. But everyone has a type. Deep down, we all have a type. So why not set your sights high, and go for what you really want?
It avoids hurting people.
My ex-husband thought I was great at first, but then he regularly told me that my legs were too short, my boobs were too big, my bum was too large, etc etc etc. All this hurt and pain and cruelty could easily have been avoided. Basically, he is NOT attracted to the classic hourglass curvy female. He wants the boyish kind.
Now if only he'd told me that before he agreed to marry me and make my life a misery!
Basically, I had two options: develop a complex and starve myself and try to be what he wanted, or tell myself "I'm just not his type" and hope that some day another guy would come along who actually liked big boobs.