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guywithAS
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 23 Apr 2011
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 285

02 Jun 2011, 8:14 am

Erisad wrote:

Just don't mention that you're a PUA to the girl, otherwise she'll probably think you're scum. :/

lol.. true.. i actually don't IRL consider myself a PUA, i'm just someone who had to study these skills to make up for some deficiencies. and it had massive impact on all areas of my life.

Erisad
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02 Jun 2011, 8:35 am

spongy wrote:

Erisad wrote:

spongy wrote:

Erisad wrote:

I guess I should just reject any guy who starts hitting on me out of the blue out of fear of being manipulated for sex. If he seems like a scumbag PUA, then kick him in the nuts too. Sounds like a good plan to me. :/

You should be fine as long as you call the cops as soon as you notice a random stranger checking you out.

As long as he doesn't talk to me or make any creepy advances, that should be okay. Geeze, this thread is making me worry that all the men who will ever talk to me will be PUAs and I won't be able to tell them apart from guys that are genuinely interested. This is why PUAs shouldn't exist. It makes it hard to tell a scumbag pretending to be charismatic and nice from an actually good person. D:

I thought that you were joking and made a joke response(even added a smiley at my post to point it out and Im not fond of smileys).

You should be concerned about the intentions of those approaching you in a context related to dating, most people nowadays are and most males expect their intentions to be questioned when they are approaching a female that isnt a friend of theirs or anything.

I have to agree on the part about being difficult to tell the difference from a real nice guy to one thats just pretending pretending to be nice and Ive been confused as a PUA when I was too nice to girls. I guess the thing is about trying to find a medium point.

I guess so. Why can't people just be themselves? It would be so much easier on everybody. D:

hyperlexian
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02 Jun 2011, 8:36 am

guywithAS wrote:

Erisad wrote:

Just don't mention that you're a PUA to the girl, otherwise she'll probably think you're scum. :/

lol.. true.. i actually don't IRL consider myself a PUA, i'm just someone who had to study these skills to make up for some deficiencies. and it had massive impact on all areas of my life.

have you seduced a woman since you learned the techniques?

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Ivan_AG
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 25 Apr 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 53
Location: London,England

02 Jun 2011, 11:06 am

BigK wrote:

Ivan_AG wrote:

I would like to experiment with some techniques, but my social anxiety is already bad enough.

I mean it's like a vicious cycle. I've found something to try out in public, but I'm too anxious to try it and break the cycle.

I need some friends to be with me before I loosen up, but most of them would not want to participate in this kind of stuff.

They would probably look down on my intentions.

Which techniques?

Any that wouldn't just qualify as "improving social skills"?

What are your intentions? To find a girlfriend or just to get laid?

A relationship sounds a much better option than just one night stands like some PUAs advocate.

I guess social skills and PUA "skill sets" can become synonymous at times, although that depends on which guru you're reading.

Some of them are just plain manipulative and sociopathic.

See Roissy's blog for an example of this.

cdfox7
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02 Jun 2011, 12:21 pm

Ivan_AG wrote:

What specifically are your real reasons for using the art of artful vagueness to promote that blog?
Now please don't be anxious in replying to me. What are you afraid of then?
You're going to stop promoting Roissy's blog, aren't you?

Mindslave
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Joined: 14 Nov 2010
Age: 37
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Posts: 2,034
Location: Where the wild things wish they were

02 Jun 2011, 3:58 pm

PUA stuff helped me a little bit, but not in the way you might think. When I first read I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell (more of a first person narrative of PUA) I didn't get it. How are these women attracted to Tucker Max? But after reading it about four years later, I understood it much better, because unlike before, I had built up a comfort level with women, and I understood the interactions that were taking place, and all the hidden meanings and subtleties. Of course, naturally when I tried too hard to be like him (i.e. being someone other than me) it didn't work too well. You are either comfortable with women or you aren't, and reading a book isn't going to give you a first person perspective. There's only one way to do it, and it's not the popular way apparently. You can't have all the benefits of a relationship without putting in the hard work, because that's where all the benefits come from: trust. How can you trust someone you barely know?

Ivan_AG
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 25 Apr 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 53
Location: London,England

02 Jun 2011, 4:12 pm

cdfox7 wrote:

Ivan_AG wrote:

I'm afraid of not ever learning proper interaction with the opposite sex.

That does frighten me since it could very easily happen if I don't take action now.

People keep telling me, "Oh don't worry about that, it's going to take care of itself" or even "You don't need other people, just focus on your interests and all will be fine".

Even though I enjoy solitary activities, effective communication with others is on my checklist for life.

The problem is that I have no idea where to start.

I have conflicting ideas about PUAs and even if I accepted PUA teaching as a way to get better with women, there are still about 20 or so gurus who sometimes give advice that contradicts with another gurus.

I'm just confused and completely lost.

As for Roissy, well I'm not sure what to say about him.

His blog really gives me some bad impressions about women and I don't know if they're true or not.

The-Raven
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Age: 46
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Posts: 762

02 Jun 2011, 4:21 pm

Ivan_AG wrote:

cdfox7 wrote:

Ivan_AG wrote:

I'm afraid of not ever learning proper interaction with the opposite sex.

That does frighten me since it could very easily happen if I don't take action now.

The problem is that I have no idea where to start.

I have conflicting ideas about PUAs and even if I accepted PUA teaching as a way to get better with women, there are still about 20 or so gurus who sometimes give advice that contradicts with another gurus.

I'm just confused and completely lost.

As for Roissy, well I'm not sure what to say about him.

His blog really gives me some bad impressions about women and I don't know if they're true or not.

why not read things which are similar to PUA such as leil lowndes

http://www.amazon.com/Leil-Lowndes-self ... U38649R0NA

http://www.lowndes.com/home.php

she is friends with the PUA men and says similar stuff but not quite so creepy, a happy medium.

another good thing is video jug as their videos are very clear

http://www.videojug.com/tag/dating

zen_mistress
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02 Jun 2011, 4:30 pm

I have one of Leil Lowndes books and I didnt like it at all. Full of weird movements and manipulations. I dislike all that falseness. It is one thing to appease NTs with a bit of social lubrication and quite another to be using all sorts of techniques to manipulate situations.

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Ivan_AG
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 25 Apr 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 53
Location: London,England

02 Jun 2011, 4:42 pm

The-Raven wrote:

Ivan_AG wrote:

cdfox7 wrote:

Ivan_AG wrote:

Lowndes is generally ridiculed in the community for helping beta men stay beta.

It's like they don't consider her advice legit since she's a woman.

I've downloaded one of her books from the Internet and finished it within a day.

Gave me some ideas, but still unsure of myself.

The-Raven
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02 Jun 2011, 4:49 pm

Ivan_AG wrote:

well you can either read some of her other books, or try some social skills and dating books by other people. Or you could hire a therapist to teach you social and dating skills. Or you could get self esteem and confidence hypnotism or work on that with books.

The main thing I think is to 'get out there' and interact with people as its hard to meet potential dates at home.

I also found 'dare to connect' by susan jeffers helpful
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dare-Connect-Cr ... 0749915463

and confidence hypnotism
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Ultimate-Confid ... 373&sr=1-3

cdfox7
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02 Jun 2011, 5:17 pm

The-Raven wrote:

Ivan_AG wrote:

If you have any knowledge of PUA then you'll know that this guy already knows about hypnosis.

trojan51
Deinonychus

Joined: 10 Dec 2009
Age: 33
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Posts: 361
Location: Seattle, Washington, United States

02 Jun 2011, 8:04 pm

Erisad wrote:

spongy wrote:

Erisad wrote:

spongy wrote:

Erisad wrote:

You should be fine as long as you call the cops as soon as you notice a random stranger checking you out.

I guess so. Why can't people just be themselves? It would be so much easier on everybody. D:

Because the PUA stuff gets girls to like the guy more.

hyperlexian
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Joined: 21 Jul 2010
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Posts: 22,023
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02 Jun 2011, 8:08 pm

trojan51 wrote:

Erisad wrote:

I guess so. Why can't people just be themselves? It would be so much easier on everybody. D:

Because the PUA stuff gets girls to like the guy more.

but they aren't liking the real guy. they are liking the illusion.

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Erisad
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02 Jun 2011, 8:12 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

trojan51 wrote:

Erisad wrote:

I guess so. Why can't people just be themselves? It would be so much easier on everybody. D:

Because the PUA stuff gets girls to like the guy more.

but they aren't liking the real guy. they are liking the illusion.

Exactly. You're lying to them by telling them that you're something that you're not.

guywithAS
Toucan
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Joined: 23 Apr 2011
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 285

02 Jun 2011, 9:09 pm

Mindslave wrote:

you know what happened? you started to develop theory of mind for women in a dating context. right? you know what's on her mind during the interaction, don't you.

isn't that supposed to be impossible for aspies according to the professional literature?

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