Constant rejection from women is making me suicidal

Post Reply New Topic

Well, women definitely can sense this attitude and it isn't helping you. I know it's easy to blame others for one's own shortcomings but you need to take responsibility for yourself and start working on yourself. Find a hobby, focus on making friends and don't put so much effort into just finding a girl.

Healthy relationships are not about just being with someone. They are about being with a special someone. Someone who evokes positive emotions in you that most others can't, and someone who equally enjoys being with you.

If you just want a relationship with ANY woman because you need to prove to yourself that you are not defective in some way then that's a pretty low sense of self worth and any relationship you do get will ultimately fail because people need to be mutually compatible in a relationship and be attracted to each other. When they just hook up for the sake of being with someone, the ultimately can't bare with the incompatibilities.

Not the first post like this and, unfortunately, probably not the last. Personally, I've had plenty of rejections and experience being alone, so I do understand it's hard. I realize anyone who posts comments like this is in a bad place and a world of hurt, but it's still hard not to be offended when people who don't understand your experiences try to minimize or distort them.

I can't help but wonder if attitudes like this towards women with AS are just stemming from 'Theory of Mind' issues and limited opportunities for actually getting to know women with Asperger's and what we go through. There are some excellent books out there by and for women with Asperger's that would be excellent reads for men who need/want to understand us better. Aspergirls by Rudy Simone comes to mind. Silly title, but very informative for anyone needing perspective and I'd highly recommend it, both for women with AS and anyone who'd like to date one of us.

Yes, it does hurt. After all, most of the women who come here don't come here because their life is so grand. I don't understand why these men who make such comments that women have it easier, or women with AS have it easier, feel the need to attack women in such a way or why they even feel they know what women go through. They obviously don't as they aren't women, and let's face it "putting one in another's shoes" is not something people with AS excel at unless they work at it.

This should be a support forum for people, men and women, with AS who are struggling in relationships. Not a place to attack women, or men because one doesn't get your way in life. The forum was a nice place again for a while until someone decided to come in here yet again and attack women.



I believe theory of mind issues is a large factor for the original poster. He has been given some very good advice and a lot of support from many members of WP before, some of them women, and he refuses to think for a moment that maybe his perceptions are wrong, and really consider that advice and make an attempt to understand the perceptions and logic of others. He is going to keep finding himself in frustrating situations unless he really works at acquiring a better theory of mind.

Rejection hurts. That's why I very rarely approach women...almost never. I used to get obsessed with the fact that I was afraid to approach women and that I got rejected when I did approach women (unless I knew in advance that they were attracted to me). I have been so hopeless that I have contemplated suicide many times. However, this is just one of the things I beat myself up about. I can come up with a lot of other things to hate myself for if I allow myself to. That is because I have depression. It affects the way I view reality. I can very easily get sucked into negative thinking if I am not doing the things I need to do to stay not depressed.

My concern is the fact that you're suicidal and obsessed with self-harm, not the fact that you attribute it to rejection from women. There are some deeper issues going on. I am not saying this to be judgmental or sound better than you. I am saying this out of empathy. I have been where you are right now emotionally. Please seek professional help.

I know happy people, people in committed relationships, who didn't had their first relationship until they were in their 30's. Don't give up hope!

Well, I've read the entire topic and replies, and i must say that for a moment in my life i though just like you, in fact, i can't be hypocrite, i can still relate to your story, many people judge your attitude towards women and questions your self confidence, but here's a fun fact, even with self confidence, you WILL struggle with understanding social underlines and you WILL get a lot of relationship problems and misunderstandings IF you can get in a relationship, what you must consider Sadaspie, that it is not your fault, it is your innate behavior, but you can't use past experiences as a way to be aggressive towards meeting new women.
Use your tools, read some psychology books and train understanding people, you shall see that in fact, there are a lot of futile women out there, but there is also understanding women who can relate to you and understand you, The odds are thin, but there are brilliant women out there who seeks a relationship.
As for cutting yourself... don't do that, I've been that path before, and i must say, please don't do that, nothing is worth your life, you don't have to pretend to get a girlfriend, nobody can judge your actions but yourself, instead of choosing suicide and leave this rotting futile consuming egocentric society as a coward, prove them wrong, do something remarkable, and rub in their faces that even if you're an aspie, you can be successful and happy your OWN way!

I agree. Let's see how positive you are if you get to nearly 29 (in my case), never a girlfriend ever, and all women ignore, humiliate, and avoid you

If he wants to have a bad attitude, let him. How is someone supposed to act after a lifetime of disappointment.

I wouldn't depend so much on others' approval.

^^
I don't know what to say except saying that I'm sorry about this. Go to the gym, make some muscles. Women like strong muscular guys. In all circumstances, never stop improving your physical appearance.

I think that the most important thing is to learn to love yourself first because even if you are not in a relationship with a woman, you are still in an inner relationship with yourself.

The greatest love of all is learning to love yourself first.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYzlVDlE72w&ob=av2e

I've been suicidal before (when I was , and been as upset before, but never suicidal again. This is because I know that the pain always passes, and that I'll do any mental gymnastics to keep myself alive and out of pain if I just hang in there long enough.

I don't want to say that you should kill yourself, but it seems to me that if you are in some sort of situation that you are pretty certain cannot get better, then living a miserable life is worse than not having one.

People should be nice to suicidal people. They can't think straight and say mean things.

I sometimes feel misogynistic. It is hard not to when it seems like that half of the human race hates you for what you are. But they have no obligation to find me attractive. It is my fault that I am hurt by them.

I am nearly at this stage. I turn 30 next year. And I have to pretty much accept that I never will have a girlfriend. AS men just don't press their buttons. Just find something more useful to dedicate my life to pursuing.

It's interesting to see how people see manipulation as a female trait. It isn't.

Agreed. He may not call them all cold hearted manipulative b*****s while he's trying to get in their pants but his mannerisms and even smell will give him away as hating women. Disdain is a turn off sexually.

My advice to him is get a hooker. If you are going to think of women only as potential property you may as well pay for it.

Agreed! You might want to get a sexy hooker who would give you a good time and hopfully you'll stop being so depressed and angry.
Or he could just find a girl with asperger's because there usually very nice and more understanding.

I hate all this game, psychological, manipulation crap. It all goes over my head, and I'm probably too simple-minded to follow it. I just wanted a girl that's nice and has the same interests as me; pretty much a hermit, a loner that doesn't many friends, enjoys watching anime and playing video games.

But that's pretty much a dream as I'm too pathetic and worthless for any girl/women to want me. I'm ugly, slow, uneducated, poor, porn-addicted, boring, and un-charismatic.

I'm 25, never dated, friendless, car-less (can't drive), and still lives with my parents. I'm a disgraceful bum, and I'm sick of people using my attitude as an excuse for the way I am. I was born this way, and destined to be a failure and alone forever.

All our impulses and desires are bio-chemical or -related.

What in bloody hell does that have to do with anything?