A Self-Made-Man girl discovers that life as a man is harder

Post Reply New Topic

I'm only speaking in the sense that women get approached more; therefore, have a higher chance of landing in a crappy relationship.

I've known plenty of men who have landed in screwed-up relationships too.

Imho that's not correct if we assume that the number of bad partners is approximatively the same between the sexes. The number of possible partners doesn't matter because the percentage will be the same, so same chance of landing in a crappy relationship.
The only way to say that a sex has more chance of getting a bad relationship than the other is to imply that the latter is more abusive in relationships.

There are a lot of instances where one partner feels that everything is alright in the relationship while the other feels it's being crappy.

And stats indicate that....women are less happy in relationships than men.

A "bad" relationship isn't necessarily an abusive relationship.

Sorry I don't get it. Do you agree with XFG?

Take it as if I wrote "bad" instead of "abusive". I usually try to avoid using the same word twice so I looked for some sort of synonym, but wasn't very successful.

No way! That would be blasphemy!...no I CANNOT admit that .

But yeah, she's right, bad doesn't mean abusive; by bad I think she means unsuccessful relationship. "Abusive" is "bad" but bad not necessarily abusive.

Examples of 'bad': a relationship without love, relationship but no loyalty, relationship with unbearable financial problems....etc

Examples of 'abusive': husband beats wife, girlfriend insults boyfriend, partner blackmails partner...etc


No...back to the imbalance of bad relationships; from what I see and read, and purely generally-speaking: Women are more demanding than men.

Therefore, it's why more common to see "Happy Husband-Unhappy Wife" marriages than "Unhappy Husband-Happy Wife" marriages; I've posted an article the other day about experts saying that "Unhappy Husband-Happy Wife" marriages survive well while "Happy Husband-Unhappy Wife" don't.
The Happy husband in the second scenario might not even realize the unhappiness of his wife and only find out when she files or demands divorce.

Yeah it was a poor choice of word.

I see, you say that women are more likely to end up in bad relationship not because there are more bad male partners, but because they are more demanding than men. I know nothing about this, but it is interesting. What are these demands that make them unhappy?

I am not denying anything, where did I ever say its false that many males on W.P haven't been in any kind of relationship? Just pointing out there are women on the spectrum who have also never had dates/relationships...and its unfair to say that because the study the self made man girl did implied to her males have a harder time getting an intial date than females...does not mean those results would directly apply to autistic women or women with other neurological or mental conditions.

Also though from what I see/hear a lot of guys like to initiate with women, some even find it a little weird if a woman tries to 'pick them up' I mostly talk to and hang out with guys so I hear a lot from their perspective. So the issue is not so simple as you make it out to be....they should do a study where a women goes and tries to pick up guys and see how well the woman does. But unclear on what I am denying exactly...if its that 'all' women have it easier in dating than 'all' men then yes I deny that but I am not denying any of the relevant information presented in this thread.

Not to mention I think people romanticize the idea of having a relationship...well its not all it's cut out to be much of the time, it will often not 'all fall into place' maybe you'll get with someone and they will change in ways you find unpleasant or vice versa then there is the stress...people much of the time say 'having a girlfriend/boyfriend is like having a second job'. It seems some who haven't had relationships think getting a girlfriend or boyfriend will make them 'happy' and the rest of things will just fall into place....well that is a fairy tale. Not criticizing peoples want for relationships and frusteration with not having one....but keep perspective on the fact its a commitment, its not easy and it involves really having to work with another person, working to find the best ways to address conflicts and picking what battles to pursue and what to leave alone. Just saying having a relationship is hard....and not having a relationship is hard in another way.

must been for a while then I've been here since 2013 and there's been very few women who post here unless its to get help with their aspie relationship or complain about their aspie ex.

Being fake, in my opinion, is a flaw. So no, he/she would not look anything like that. Dare I say it, even normality can be somewhat of a flaw, depending on context.

You think perfection is complete normality, others have different perspectives on that. Perfection generally can't be objective because it's about what is desirable. Some things are common/normal just because they weren't bad enough to get naturally selected out, so they stick around. Whether they are desirable things is subjective.

Well as they say, don't post a thread on a public forum if you don't want to see other peoples opinions...or expect to only see opinions of agreement than.

By your logic, if you find a man who makes less than an average woman does (which is easy), then you can't say that women are underpaid. It's sad that there's women who have never been on a date or in a relationship. I'd like to see more posts from them but they're never active for a long time. Do you have any idea why those women who have the least success at dating post less than other women? Maybe there's a lot of them but we men don't notice them. Could you name some?


It's easy to deny something when you add word all to it. You could deny anything that way, but that's not helpful to anyone.


That study would be wrong because I've accepted some invitations from women.

No my logic says a study where a biological female plays the role of a man to see how difficult it is for men in general to pick up women in general may not have results that are going to apply exactly to autistic females or females with other conditions. Basically the study is semi-irrelevent to autistics and people with other neurotypes than neurotypical...the troubles autistic males and females have in dating are not going to be the same as difficulties neurotypicals face, chances are both males and females on the spectrum are going to have a harder time dating than their neurotypical counterparts. This concept is not rocket science you know, and not sure how better I can spell it out that a study done on the general populace and/or neurotypicals for the most part isn't going to apply directly or accurately to autistics? I don't feel I need to go dig up female users that haven't had dates if you think all females including every autistic one has had experience in dating and relationships...its going to be pointless to try and convince you otherwise.

And why would the study of a woman going to pick up guys be wrong simply because you would take them up? Are you representative of all males....particularly average males of this society? Its very possible there are less males like you, and more who find it strange for girls to to do the picking up. Just would be interesting to see....and hell it could be more guys than expected would take women up on initiating dates.

Also I am still unclear on what exactly it is I have denied....I don't doubt you can deny something with lots of words to make it less obvious you are denying it, but even so still confused as to what I initially denied.

Me personally, well if I could initiate interactions with strangers I'd see no issue expressing to a guy I am interested in them and would like to go out....alas my brain prevents this, like how on the movie Zoolander the main character can't turn left or whatever I can't go up to someone I don't know and talk to them.

Also with guys approaching girls its not as simple as a line of potential dates lining up so you can say 'nope, next' till you get to one you like...some guys will make unwanted advances even after you express you're not intrested which can be very akward to deal with for someone on the spectrum, its not like you get guys lining up to ask you out and then any you turn down are going to be respectful to give the next guy a chance. Anyways back to the thread I don't deny that guys can have a harder time finding an initial date/relationship...but I don't think that implies girls have the entire relationship bit easier, also I think its possible an autistic woman could have just as much trouble finding a date as a neurotypical male, maybe an average autistic male would have a harder time getting an initial date than an autistic women but I have yet to see a study done on that specifically. But getting dates is not all of dating, there are lots of difficult parts to dating...if I am not mistaking after the first date things just get harder if the relationship continues.

It gets to the point though were it feels like there's nothing else to tell. I've liked loads of guys, none of them liked me back. That's it. I don't see the point in trying any more. I don't feel like discussing it any more.

It also doesn't help when you start a conversation here and find a load of guys telling you that you're talking rubbish and that all you have to do is doll yourself up and smile at a guy and you'll find a boyfriend. Life is more complicated than that. Why am I going to talk to a bunch of people who don't even believe what I'm saying?

I don't think I try and date the way other people here try and date so it seems like it's pointless to talk about it anymore. I don't have a problem meeting men, I don't need to do online dating or go to bars, so I don't need to be told to do that.
My friend told me the other day that the men she knows tend to hold back until they are absolutely, totally and utterly sure that the woman likes them before they will ask her out. So I see how hard it is to be a man and feel like you don't want to make a fool of yourself. But then I don't have any self confidence and I am not at all affectionate so I guess men just think I'm their buddy when I really, really like them and that's about it really. There's nothing else to say, there's no one else like me here and I just don't feel like there's any point talking about it any more.

Just re-read this bit

LOL. Aaand, that's why we're single.