Feeling undatable

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auntblabby
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13 Jul 2016, 9:04 pm

that is a major problem, not being able to discern people's motives.

slw1990
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13 Jul 2016, 9:10 pm

Lockeye wrote:

Have you tried meeting anyone from online to see how it would go? You might be surprised to see how the other person comes off, and that they might actually be the one giving off weird vibes more than you ever could.

I met different guys online a few years ago. There's someone on the site I'm on now who wants to meet up with me and we are planning on going out for dinner this weekend.

slw1990
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17 Jul 2016, 12:31 am

I feel like one of my problems is that I have trouble figuring things out that are very simple and obvious so then I appear to be really dumb. I don't mean social skills, but practical things like having trouble seeing things that are right in front of me, doing things backwards ect.

I know feeling bad about it probably makes me seem even less attractive and I try not to show it, but it's hard not to feel that way because it happens so much. I also sometimes get ridiculed or pitied for it.

Last edited by slw1990 on 17 Jul 2016, 1:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

slw1990
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17 Jul 2016, 1:02 am

It also seems like when other people notice that someone is talking to me it seems like other people start to show interest in them when they didn't seem to before and I don't know how to respond or if they are even doing it intentionally.

auntblabby
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17 Jul 2016, 1:02 am

everybody here should have this dr. seuss quote pasted on their mirrors- "be who you are and say what you feel, because the people who matter don't mind, and the people who mind don't matter."

slw1990
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17 Jul 2016, 1:17 am

It's that I sometimes feel frustrated with myself about these things.

Lockeye
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18 Jul 2016, 1:38 pm

slw1990 wrote:

It's that I sometimes feel frustrated with myself about these things.

If you did meet somebody online and felt like things are going great, do you believe that you might still feel that same frustration about yourself about these things? I'm just asking this, because sometimes finding someone is not an answer to some of the other things you might be experiencing, even though we often believe that problem A can be fixed with solution A, but it doesn't always work out that way, and our internal-logic sometimes takes us for a loop.

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slw1990
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18 Jul 2016, 4:13 pm

Lockeye wrote:

If you did meet somebody online and felt like things are going great, do you believe that you might still feel that same frustration about yourself about these things?

I think I would still feel that way. I think it has to do with how well I sleep.

Sorry I've been ranting so much.

Stargazer43
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18 Jul 2016, 6:54 pm

slw1990 wrote:

Lockeye wrote:

I met different guys online a few years ago. There's someone on the site I'm on now who wants to meet up with me and we are planning on going out for dinner this weekend.

How'd your dinner go? It sounds like anxiety is one of the things holding you back - I suffered from it for many years. The best decision I ever made was to just stop caring what other people thought and just be myself, no matter how weird or strange people might think it was. It turns out, people do think I'm a bit out there, but they also really appreciate my openness and honesty about who I am. Of course, this is far easier to say than to do, and it can be extremely awkward when you're not used to it.

ShesGone
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18 Jul 2016, 7:08 pm

slw1990 wrote:

Lockeye wrote:

If you did meet somebody online and felt like things are going great, do you believe that you might still feel that same frustration about yourself about these things?

I think I would still feel that way. I think it has to do with how well I sleep......

I don't know why it sounded somewhat funny lol.

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slw1990
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18 Jul 2016, 8:55 pm

Stargazer43 wrote:

It was okay, but I was kind of uncomfortable and made some mistakes. I didn't really feel interested in the guy I met.

People always tell me not to care about what others think. What does that mean exactly? I can feel confident with some things, but usually not with dating or social situations.

The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Jul 2016, 1:09 am

and somewhere...on the net, that guy is probably posting he's feeling undatable because no one is being interested in him after the first date.

Sabreclaw
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19 Jul 2016, 2:46 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

and somewhere...on the net, that guy is probably posting he's feeling undatable because no one is being interested in him after the first date.

So? Should she force herself to spend time with somebody that doesn't interest her?

I don't blame her for finding someone uninteresting on a date. I think it's a very unnatural way to meet people.

The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Jul 2016, 3:39 am

Sabreclaw wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

and somewhere...on the net, that guy is probably posting he's feeling undatable because no one is being interested in him after the first date.

So? Should she force herself to spend time with somebody that doesn't interest her?

I don't blame her for finding someone uninteresting on a date. I think it's a very unnatural way to meet people.

No, didn't say that ...but there's irony in that.

Sabreclaw
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19 Jul 2016, 3:48 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Sabreclaw wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

and somewhere...on the net, that guy is probably posting he's feeling undatable because no one is being interested in him after the first date.

So? Should she force herself to spend time with somebody that doesn't interest her?

I don't blame her for finding someone uninteresting on a date. I think it's a very unnatural way to meet people.

No, didn't say that ...but there's irony in that.

Heh, I suppose. No guarantee the guy she dated wasn't a stud that has no trouble with women in general though.

The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Jul 2016, 4:25 am

Sabreclaw wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Sabreclaw wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

and somewhere...on the net, that guy is probably posting he's feeling undatable because no one is being interested in him after the first date.

So? Should she force herself to spend time with somebody that doesn't interest her?

I don't blame her for finding someone uninteresting on a date. I think it's a very unnatural way to meet people.

No, didn't say that ...but there's irony in that.

Heh, I suppose. No guarantee the guy she dated wasn't a stud that has no trouble with women in general though.

It's so unlikely, this type doesn't usually use dating sites.

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