As a guy ~

Post Reply New Topic

You just asked people not to clutter your thread. Maybe you can move your animosity back to that one.

BTW Ferris makes s**t up to show us a good time. It's a hobby of ours.

rdos wrote:

Alterity wrote:

If you've learned to be 'too shy' that means you can unlearn it you know.

Shyness is not learned. It's often part of being neurodiverse, and especially in the relationship area, NDs are supposed to be shy.

Also, ND women are just as shy as guys are, but it's less a problem for them since it is guys that are supposed to take initiative, and so we have all of these "advice" to guys that they should unlearn their shyness and become extrovert and comfortable with going up and talk to a woman they fancy. I'm not sure if this actually is good advice at all. First, many guys will not learn to do this in a way that looks natural, and so would be considered even weirder. Second, I suspect many compatible women don't like this "modus operandi" either, and so by learning it they reduce their chances of finding compatible partners.

He said "I guess I've learned to be too shy for most people to understand me." So I went with his words.

Indeed being shy isn't a learned thing. However, if you have gotten into the habit of catering to your shyness you are in a sense training yourself to always be as such. In such cases if you try to push yourself out of your comfort zone a little you can unlearn the habit of always going along with the shy impulse. I was in no way suggesting he should just force himself to be an extrovert, only get his toes wet if he so wished. It doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing.

I don't particularly agree that ND's are suppose to be shy. A great many of us are but not all of us. There are some extroverts and I feel like that statement discredits them :/

cberg wrote:

I guess I tend to forget my friends do at least know about this weird condition of mine. More than outright explanations of everything I do, I'd rather just make some parts of all this technology fun for people. Maybe it would help if I made that more of a 'choose your own adventure' format & contained it to some popular themes.

That sounds like a great idea! I suspect more people may be able to relate and understand it if you could come up with ways to apply it to more 'mainstream' subjects also. Something similar to how people use the high way as an example to explain RAM.

Quote:

All I could think of to clear my head was work.

Oh good grief, we need to find you some more relaxing, decompressing, mind clearing activities :p It also might serve to give you more topics to talk about to help connect with others.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Smashing my overtaxed work laptop to smithereens would probably do the trick. It was a bad day. I find myself resolute in staying away from people because, as I said, I just don't really trust anybody. It's not often enough that I spend any time with anyone I do actually trust, I'm probably too intense for them. Breaking enough ice to actually converse with them about my 'disability' takes ages, so I usually just get lost.

I do need to sew some buttons but I'm just going to do that now. I feel way too damn robotic, I'm getting colder than anybody I know. I'm putting some miles on my bong for now but I'll at least try to talk to some humans tonight.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

What girl doesn't like a man who can sew his own buttons?

My wife often wishes I can do more of those types of things.

I like you whether or not you can sew buttons, cberg. I hope you keep telling us how you feel. It's therapeutic for you to express yourself the way you do!

Um yeah I would say sewing buttons is more productive than smashing an expensive electronic. Good choice

Trusting people is hard and it takes time especially when the experiences haven't been so great. One thing I've found is that instead of just trusting someone, you trust them a little bit with one thing. And then if that works out, you try adding a little more or you might decide for that person that's enough. Example: I have a friend that I rarely see or talk to but I know if I need help with something I can call her and she'll help me out if she can. So that's something I can trust that person with - even if I'm not trusting her with intimate details of my life.

Do you think you're too intense or is there something someone did or said to allude to that? Sometimes our perceptions of ourselves to others isn't always accurate. That being said I have no idea how I come off to people other than 'strange' lol But strange is normal for us ND's isn't it?

Nothing I've heard of you so far comes off as spooky to me.

I hazard a guess it's some combination of my social ineptitude & the obscured nature of my work that keeps everyone from getting closer to me.

Do you think you're too intense or is there something someone did or said to allude to that? Sometimes our perceptions of ourselves to others isn't always accurate. That being said I have no idea how I come off to people other than 'strange' lol But strange is normal for us ND's isn't it?

Nothing I've heard of you so far comes off as spooky to me.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I think if we air dropped you among those who do similarly obscure work, as you put it, you'd be alright. Or you all would just keep working and not talk to another, heh. I dunno, I can't speak for other people, but what someone does for work wouldn't be a factor (within reason, like if I was morally against it) in whether I got to know someone.

The rest you said just sounds kinda like myself so a ASD thing? Ehh...

I know how you feel, cberg. I've come dangerously close to throwing my laptop across the room a few times. Never felt like that before. Life does not make it easy on us.

I think anyone who can stay sane these days deserves a medal.

Normally I'm quite cool about electronics problems, this was just a particularly bad time for such a fast machine to be crashing & sort of a bad week, even though I got most of my stuff done.

That's not exactly the problem. I'm watching the Academy awards because my mom asked me to put it on & I can't help thinking this is a culture I'm not seen as a part of.

I think I'm an artifact of something else entirely. I don't know if that's good or bad.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I admire complex work.

I don't believe there's a bias; it's more like an irritation that they don't have the education for complex work like yours.

I'm not "complex in my knowledge" enough to do it. I'm irritated by that fact---but I don't begrudge you for having that knowledge. Same for other people.