14 Jul 2019, 6:09 pm
Prometheus18 wrote:
For my part, I'd marry a woman as much as twice my age, if she met all my other requirements, though I'd prefer a woman somewhere in her twenties.
You're one of the good ones.
14 Jul 2019, 6:10 pm
XFilesGeek wrote:
Of course. All modern dating problems are caused exclusively by women. /s
Accusing ALL guys of categorically ignoring this is sexist & lame & sexist. We can't just keep pushing this balance one way or the other because our proverbial toes got stepped on. This kind of sour attitude is in large part why I as a guy barely go near anybody anymore.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
14 Jul 2019, 11:03 pm
FWIW I want everyone to know that being a shy guy in no way means I dislike people.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
15 Jul 2019, 8:39 am
15 Jul 2019, 10:20 am
You didn't per sé, I just think that would be a REALLY lousy attitude if a guy adopted it.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
15 Jul 2019, 10:37 am
15 Jul 2019, 11:20 am
Yeah but it was just blame shifting. Toxic masculinity is reinforced by female sexism more than you probably think.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
15 Jul 2019, 11:42 am
Teach51
Veteran
Joined: 28 Jan 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,808
Location: Where angels do not fear to tread.
15 Jul 2019, 1:11 pm
Teach51 wrote:
This thread does not allow contesting what previous posters have shared. No argument, response or debate is allowed. Ego seems to take over when we debate and posters become either defensive or offensive, which turns the whole thing into a conflict rather than a positive learning experience.
The purpose here is to talk about an interaction that has occurred with the opposite sex and what you needed to happen that didn't. Or what was a great response and why. Why you felt frustrated, invalidated, angry, or joyful and elated.
The intention is to examine our own and others feelings and just pay attention ,and hopefully we will attain new discernments by passively observing and just listening and not descending into being judgemental or feeling attacked.
I'll begin.
A few weeks ago I shared how my aspie love interest upset me by not asking me how I felt when I was really sick and seemed to make light of the fact that I was unwell. He really hurt my feelings. Because I know that he cares it wasn't such a major issue, but sick and grumpy I lashed out and made it clear that when I am sick or anyone else for that matter, concern has to be expressed verbally otherwise I have no way of monitoring how he feels. I cannot read his mind, what he doesn't say out loud I cannot possibly know. I need to feel cared about or what's the point in being a relationship? ( rhetorical question, no response required
)
Yesterday I had a bad stomach bug and felt lousy. A simple "feel better" from my guy was expressed and made me feel much better.This may seem a ridiculously trivial matter but these things are hard for him to express and make me feel he doesn't care. He felt good because he knew what I needed and could provide it, so it was a win win. A little positive attention goes a long way with me. Progress not perfection
Who has something to share with us? Can be a past or present experience.
The purpose here is to talk about an interaction that has occurred with the opposite sex and what you needed to happen that didn't. Or what was a great response and why. Why you felt frustrated, invalidated, angry, or joyful and elated.
The intention is to examine our own and others feelings and just pay attention ,and hopefully we will attain new discernments by passively observing and just listening and not descending into being judgemental or feeling attacked.
I'll begin.
A few weeks ago I shared how my aspie love interest upset me by not asking me how I felt when I was really sick and seemed to make light of the fact that I was unwell. He really hurt my feelings. Because I know that he cares it wasn't such a major issue, but sick and grumpy I lashed out and made it clear that when I am sick or anyone else for that matter, concern has to be expressed verbally otherwise I have no way of monitoring how he feels. I cannot read his mind, what he doesn't say out loud I cannot possibly know. I need to feel cared about or what's the point in being a relationship? ( rhetorical question, no response required
)Yesterday I had a bad stomach bug and felt lousy. A simple "feel better" from my guy was expressed and made me feel much better.This may seem a ridiculously trivial matter but these things are hard for him to express and make me feel he doesn't care. He felt good because he knew what I needed and could provide it, so it was a win win. A little positive attention goes a long way with me. Progress not perfection
Who has something to share with us? Can be a past or present experience.
Just a reminder of the nature of this thread.
There are plenty of other threads for combat or militancy, this is a safe place for both sexes to say how they feel without being attacked. Try listening without responding. We all know how we feel ourselves, let's listen to others without forcing our opinions on them. How can we invalidate the deepest feelings of others?
17 Jul 2019, 3:51 am
17 Jul 2019, 5:06 am
17 Jul 2019, 5:18 am
17 Jul 2019, 5:46 am
17 Jul 2019, 6:01 am
