06 May 2020, 3:49 pm
06 May 2020, 7:27 pm
I often worry I traded too many people skills for tech skills. 
IDK if people ever forgive that kind of thing.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,746
Location: the island of defective toy santas
06 May 2020, 7:36 pm
06 May 2020, 7:43 pm
I was talking about people who know me personally, although it's a scary notion that that could apply more to corporations than my real friends.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
06 May 2020, 10:56 pm
Everyone calls our attempts to relate pointless without anyone knowing why. It's like nihilism makes more sense to some people than anything they say they believe.
I'm done with that kind of backasswards society, not my relationships. Wtf does some pessimistic dude hiding behind a screen really know about us?
I wish people could be positive about what's important to us but usually people sharing emotion here get so much bile spat at us in return that I can't even believe it anymore.
I'm not losing sleep over returning negativity. People who play know-it-all about ASD folks have our heads in an isolationist death spiral because they are sick enough to be amused by it.
I don't care about dating anymore. Everything we know is wrong.
I think sometimes people don't know how to respond to emotion. Sometimes their first instinct is to give advice, when most of the time we just want someone to listen and not evaluate it. Sometimes we're not a problem that needs fixed. Sometimes we don't want to hear "calm down." Sometimes we just need to inherently know someone is there for us in some small way. That's a challenge for anyone, not just for those of us on the spectrum, but I think it might be an even bigger challenge in some ways; I learned how to react/respond to people from observing them, and most people are *not* good listeners or skilled with "being there" for someone.
Challenging enough for my subconscious to continually avoid addressing your post. You're right, what I'm looking for is more nuanced than a relationship that might start online or in any quick way whatsoever.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
08 May 2020, 12:17 am
It always seems to come down to me jumping through so infinitely many hoops that I get where I'm going without knowing my route.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,746
Location: the island of defective toy santas
08 May 2020, 12:26 am
08 May 2020, 1:26 pm
08 May 2020, 9:10 pm
It doesn't make any sense to me how I managed to ever have a social life to mess up in the first place. ASD being a precondition of my entire existence & so on.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
10 May 2020, 4:58 pm
I guess the core issue for me is my subconscious wondering if we'll all stop avoiding each other soon enough.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
11 May 2020, 12:53 pm
that1weirdgrrrl
Veteran
Joined: 19 Jul 2017
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,090
Location: Between my dreams and your fantasies
11 May 2020, 8:50 pm
12 May 2020, 2:30 am
Likewise, one of ours has a bridge over a creek between the buildings I like studying on.
On a related note, before all this I compulsively went to the library cafe there with a laptop for years. I kind of think my pensive nature is a weakness. I don't keep up with or meet anyone having become too comfortable in a heads-down study routine. In my spare time. 
Maybe I need to read more.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
that1weirdgrrrl
Veteran
Joined: 19 Jul 2017
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,090
Location: Between my dreams and your fantasies
12 May 2020, 6:46 pm
On a related note, before all this I compulsively went to the library cafe there with a laptop for years. I kind of think my pensive nature is a weakness. I don't keep up with or meet anyone having become too comfortable in a heads-down study routine. In my spare time.
Maybe I need to read more.
After this is all over, you could try reading physical books (not on your phone or laptop) at places like coffee houses.
I have made a number of friends this way, because people would ask me about what I was reading. This also worked with sketchpads, journals, and manuscripts; people always seemed curious about what I was doing.
(If you are on an electric device, it is easier to assume you are texting a friend and want to be left alone, though).
12 May 2020, 7:12 pm
I suppose I always found myself in those conversations with programmers, mathematicians & scientists more than people in general.
I practically am an electronic device though; I'm afraid people assume I want to (or perhaps should be) left alone so I can focus on the only things I seem able to.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,156
Location: Adelaide, Australia
12 May 2020, 7:36 pm
