My gf seems to be bothered that I am 'white and privileged'.

Post Reply New Topic

I can see that. Hanlon's Razor says: ""never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity". I myself haven't read "1984" until my mid 20's. And the first time I read it, I interpreted as a dark fictional story, rather than a prophesy of what Western countries are turning into. (*cough* Biden-19 scamdemic *cough*)

Ironpony clearly seems to be struggling to reconcile his girlfriend's doublespeak. Whether she's doing it out of a malicious intent to gaslight him or simply out of youthful idiocy, she's a danger to his mental health. She needs to get out and stay out!

My mistake. CRT is not exclusively related to African Americans, but holds pretty much that white people are the scum of the earth.

I’m not ignoring that the British did some horrible things or that racism isn’t an ongoing problem. But I’m not responsible for what my ancestors may or may not have done.

I get that she wants to be open-minded. But here’s the thing: she sees you as privileged, and she’s freely choosing to date you. That makes her a gold digger. You are her ticket out. If she really loves you and you love her, demonstrate what it means to be optimistic and hopeful. Show her what it’s like to be a winner. By dating you, she’s found her ideal mate and she’s not a victim. Excuse me, I meant to say by dating you she’s CHOOSING to not be a victim.

Now, if she’s never going to see things that way and she’s going to continue sponging off your privilege, it might be best to part ways. So you laugh at off color jokes. So what? You can’t live your life walking on eggshells around any romantic interest.

I’ve never dated outside my race. I was never interested in biracial dating long-term, but never exactly opposed to it. Besides that, I never had the opportunity. But I did date someone who was hypersensitive to all kinds of things. My jokes were never funny, everything I said was offensive. After a while she wondered why I never spoke to her, or gave one word answers to her questions. Or why I didn’t seem like the same person when we first met. We’ll, I guess I’m just never going to change. If you liked me when we first started dating, why try to change me? It just gets cruel after a while to hang on to a person like that when what they really need is for you to let them go. I’m not saying that’s where you are or that you should break up. I’m just saying don’t hesitate to consider her happiness when she might be unwilling to leave you but would be better off with someone else. If you can’t laugh at funny jokes or you’re always looking over your shoulder or generally can’t be yourself because it upsets her, you’re doing her a favor by cutting her loose.

You have a serious issue with catastrophizing, however your opinion shifts, as you seem to be unsure of your propositions yourself, you seem to think it's the end of the world. Can you tell me what the word for that strategy is?

Not only you spread bitterness to men who are vulnerable and negativistic because of hardship and hatred directed to all womankind but also you seem to not see things clearly and be very proud of lying to justice system to obtain a restraint order against your ex girlfriend, when she posed no danger to you. If it indeed happened, because such a thing seems rather the product of fabrication. In some way it seems like you get something out of punishing exes and everyone's girlfriends for nothing of substance, or a perceived offense they did not plan or intend. If everyone would split over a major disagreement the whole world would be without partners.

Just because you or others have the distinct fallacy habit of calling people unintelligent based of not knowing about a small branch in a certain domain, doesn't mean it makes any sense or logic in the real world.

It's a pity this man doesn't know how to defend his girlfriend or being considerate to each other enough in arguments, it's the most important thing. He might just be scared and pissed.

White people did some awful things in the past. Just like PEOPLE have always done horrible things to other PEOPLE. Race isn't the issue until someone MAKES it an issue. Southern slavery, Jim Crow laws, etc. are all examples of that.

But when "whiteness" is assumed to be a causative factor of oppression, what you have is an abject failure of logic. There's no excuse for the oppression of indigenous peoples. Now, if for the sake of argument fighting the Indians was in self-defense (British instigation of attacks against colonists, for example), American natives don't get to cry victim when colonists retaliate. The PRESENCE of British colonists and whether they had any right to be there is another topic for debate. But the little bit of history class I recall is that early on the French established mutually beneficial trade with the natives and relations were great for some time. The Spanish, OTOH, seem to have more of the conquering spirit. North American indigenous seem to have largely benefited from European presence in the long term, and the USA had to learn some very painful lessons along the way with regard to the treatment of indigenous.

You can say white people are inherently racist all you want. But when you consider how protected Native Americans are now and how much access they have to opportunities--actually, even MORE access than many white people--I'd say Native American victimhood in the present day context is irrelevant to the level that it might now be considered mere myth.

I'll give you an actual example of what I mean. I know someone who teaches band at a tribal school. Tribal schools get beaucoup cash for programs. My friend outfits ALL her clarinet students with Buffet R13's. That might not mean much to most people, but the R13 is kinda the Steinway of clarinets. It's a workhorse clarinet normally reserved for college and professional level clarinetists, something like a high-performance Ford F150 or Dodge RAM, or equivalent to a Cadillac sedan. Anyone who IS anyone plays on them, despite there also being a number of Bentley/Rolls-Royce level instruments. But there are also a large number of clarinets out there that are more like your cheap sub-compact cars, or your old beaters that get you back and forth to work or school. Those are your plastic, beginner horns. R13's will run you over $3500, and not 20 years ago it was around half that. A top-of-the-line Backun Alpha made out of ABS can be had for less than $1000. These Native American kids are getting pro-level, wooden clarinets for MARCHING BAND. And...if are NOT a band director for a tribal school and you have a clarinet player in your beginner band, you call my friend and she can connect your student with a pro-grade horn.

I'm not knocking it or criticizing it, I'm just relating plain old facts. My middle-class, white butt had to wait for a family member to die before I could trade up in COLLEGE. We never had those kinds of resources. And I guarantee if my next job is in a public school and I get wind that I have Native American students, heck yeah, I'm hooking them up with nothing less than the very best. Not because I feel sorry for them, but because I want a championship band that outperforms the next district, and I don't want equipment getting in the way. You want to talk about privilege? Here it is. The only real "privilege" us "white people" get is the privilege to send Native Americans our tax money. I don't envy Native Americans for that. I'm not bitter towards anyone, and my tone isn't meant to imply that I have a problem with it. My point is that the situation we have today is radically different than the situation in the 1800's. I'm not going to be bothered with feeling guilty for something I bear no responsibility for, especially if we're investing that much money in the native community to improve conditions as much as they are right now.

Well it's weird because she gets really passsionate and stubborn about things like this, but then she can go back to laughing and having a good time, and then making me laugh and things seem good. So I guess it's hard to know what to do since she can snap back and have a good time after.

I've calmed down now and maybe I was over-reacting but one thing I get tired of and kind of embarrassed by is how she seems to be politically sensitive and prudish.

I have a couple of guy friends who's female partners are the same way, so is it common for women to be more politically prudish compared to a more of the guys?

But I also feel that this idealism way of looking at things is dangerous because it can blindside a person to reality, and that can cause problems as well.

I can do that. I can agree to disagree if she can.

Well I think if she wants things improved to the degree that she wants she would have to become a Che Guevara type, really make dirty moral decisions and get her hands dirty, and perhaps have to sacrifice her own life in the name of the cause. But since she is not going to do that, why pretend that nothing less is going to make any change. She wants to have her cake and eat it too, but when I point this out, she can't handle it.

I would agree, to an extent. That's not the issue.


What people? White people themselves, or non-white people who realize whites are privileged, but are unaware of the white caste system and assume being privileged is a guarantee for anyone who is white, equally? You need to clarify.

This is why I qualified white privilege to "the fullest extent of its power."

Ironpony may be privileged for being white, as you point out. The EXTENT of the priviledge may not be as extensive for him as his non-white girlfriend assumes (since she may think the privilege applies equally to all whites). She may see the most privileged white man and assume the privilege applies to all whites equally. It doesn't.

Agreed.
People really need to hear both sides of the coin first to have a credible opinion.

BTW,
How did you get so clever in such a short period of time?
My influence?

Pepe, the master of the back-handed compliment.

What does being anti-mandate have to do with racism, or what is the connection there? Am I missing the obvious? She says it's because racists are use to getting their way, and and that this is just another example of them not getting there way, and they have to protest this as well? But is that really the connection between racism and being against a mandate though?

She also say that the protestors aren't actually protesting the mandate like they say they are, and it's just a front for alterior racist motives. But if the protest is just a front for another goal, how would getting rid of the mandate achieve a racist goal? How does getting rid of a vaccine mandate, make the world better for racists?

I suspect his birth lost twin murdered him and took his life over. or his dog's writing off his account.

Shh, he was good before, he just needed a bit more... old age. To think he used to call me young.

Don't be envious, Pepe. Maybe your old age is... coming around too.

She also say that the protestors aren't actually protesting the mandate like they say they are, and it's just a front for alterior racist motives. But if the protest is just a front for another goal, how would getting rid of the mandate achieve a racist goal? How does getting rid of a vaccine mandate, make the world better for racists?

Unless I am missing the obvious?