Following the Weight bandwagon.

Post Reply New Topic

all_white is right, as type is very important. The woman and man have to be attracted to each other on all levels. I was joking when I said to go after the nerdy type, because it's no cure all for picking a nice guy. If any attribute, all I'd ever want is the girl to be a good person with a good heart. I think that's what most women want out of a guy too, but in my experience, It's just been so hard to find good people.

*Adds another tally mark to her line of bazillion misunderstandings*

That's absolutely fine!

Now, shall we talk about weight again?

Who here actually bothers to weigh themself?

I do, occasionally. Just to check. Most of the time, I prefer not to know.

Ah, you see, that's the difference between us. I was also settling for my less-than-ideal physical type, but I was prepared to stand by my decision to do so and not beat him up about it.

I never once told him he was ugly or disgusting - quite the opposite. He was always putting himself down, and pointing out all his "faults" as well as mine. In vain I told him over and over again that I thought his big nose was adorable and I really didn't mind his acne scars, so he should stop moaning about them and hiding himself away. And it was true. I didn't mind. Because I loved him.

When you love someone, the love takes over ,and you become attracted to them even if you weren't particularly attracted in the first place. At least, I do.

I check all the time. I'm dangerously close to being underweight and I want to avoid that if I can. If I become underweight I won't be able to get out of it for a very long time. Possibly too long.

If you're overweight, a good way to make yourself weigh less is to fiddle with that little slidy thing on the bathroom scales.

Just a tip.

Jonsi: oh dear. *hugs*

I'm afraid I have to agree with @all_white: nerdiness is no guarantee of being a nice guy. The last guy I allowed myself to fall for was absolutely a nerd (card carrying Aspie, as a matter of fact). He was brilliant and funny and charming and flirty (yes, he really was quite flirty). He was an analyst (professionally) - as am I - and had special interests that I was actually interested in discussing and learning about (even when he was telling me how spider antivenin is manufactured). We had a lot to talk about, and I thought his giant brain was really sexy. (His body wasn't bad, either....not everybody's cup of tea, but good looking in a quirky way.) Again, I'm agreeing with @all_white: we were actually kind of ridiculously happy, right up until he dumped me. It was like all the good things he ever felt for me turned into absolute hatred - like I was the one who dumped him, or cheated on him, or stole from him or something. After he dumped me he lied about me, trash-talked me, bragged about his exploits with women - he was brutal. It never mattered what I said, how I approached him - he has a bottomless pit of rage when it comes to me.

Im not talking physical, Im talking about personality. Were you not settling for a guy who did not have the personal qualities you are looking for? It sounds like you want someone who is loving and you settled for someone who was not loving at all.

Wow, you've just described my ex. It's spooky.

He now hates me, too.

For no apparent reason.

I am 100% innoccent and my only crime is to have faithfully loved him.

Maybe our exes were related!

Ah, I see.

I'm not really sure.

I was too messed up at the time to really notice.

I guess what I am saying with my post, is when someone leaves you, particularly when they compare you to someone else or leave you for someone else, it is important to recognise that they were not the only one who was settling... it shows the relationship as it really was, and allows one to examine what is actually wanted. It is awful to feel like crap and think of this other person who looks like a 6 foot supermodel, but when you realise that the ex wasnt really your dream man either, well it does help you get back on track and work out what is desirable in a relationship. Plus, you will never settle again...

That is spooky.

I really thought he was perfect for me - right up until he hated my guts. We went from blissed-out to over in less than 48 hours. Maybe they were separated at birth?

Try to stop doing it? Stop exercising so much if you do that. Eat more calorie-heavy stuff.

Yeah, all of my exes were nerds of some variety and they all morphed from charming and awesome to distant and/or abusive. So the misogynists who say that women are the only ones that are deceitful in relationships can kiss my fat ass. Also, it sucks to get a break up message over Runescape chat. :/

self proclaimed nerds often turn out to be jerks too.

Such is the case sometimes. >.<