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Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?

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RetroGamer87
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04 Dec 2015, 9:12 pm

PrincessPumpkin wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
b9 wrote:
Quote:
Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?
i am not sure that girls have an easier time "getting" dates than men, but i do think they often have more choice foisted upon them.
in most mammalian biology, males are able to copulate many times per day and so they can impregnate whatever lets them impregnate them without fear of their gene's benefactor pool being sullied by a single dud female who gave birth to one of his progeny. for this reason, there is less emphasis on considered selection, and more emphasis on casting their "seed" wide and far.

females generally have a gestation period that limits them to having much fewer offspring in the course of their lives than males can potentially have. therefore it is more important for the female to select suitable genes to fertilize her in order for her to have improved traits in her biological descendency.

i have no idea how this imperative is interwoven into all forms of life but it is. no animal is ever truly cognizant of every reason for it's attraction to something, but they all follow a plan that allows for evolution and evolution is the prevention of inevitable extinction.
That's very interesting. Maybe men still have prehistoric wiring that makes them polygamous. I find this difficult to deal with because I want to be in a monogamous relationship yet there are too many girls to choose from. A really pretty girl is the "perfect girl" yet another girl who's really pretty in a different way is also perfect. Perhaps this is a vestigial remnant from prehistoric times.

It was ok in the old days. In the paleolithic you had your tribe of ~100 people. In ancient or medieval times you had your village of ~100 people. Nowadays we have the global village, billions of people. More choices make it so much harder to choose.

How does this apply to me? I found a vein of girls on OK Cupid, several of whom want to get to know me. They're all really nice but in different ways. Who's to say if one kind of pretty is better than another type of pretty? They all have really nice personalities but in different ways. How can I say one personality is better than another?

I feel very conflicted, because even though we're just chatting on OK Cupid when I start chatting to a new girl, I feel like I'm cheating on the last girl, who I haven't yet cut ties with. I worry they'll find out about each other. It overwhelms me. It confuses me. Having too many pretty girls take interest in me makes me feel like I'm drinking from a fire hose.
Chat away. To as many girls as you like. Until you're dating someone exclusively, the world is your oyster!
I'm so relieved because at least three of them think that I want to marry them. Eventually I'll have to dump all but one but I hate hurting people's feelings. Also it's really time consuming for me to chat enough so that they all I think they have my undivided attention.

All this is contingency plans until I can get Michelle back. I don't know why but she's just so mysteriously perfect. Even her flaws are perfect. Michelle's mother was really mad at her for dumping me so when she sees her next she will attempt to bring her to her senses.

If Michelle refuses, I don't know which girl I should go with. I can't choose between the on again off again ugly 31 year old nympomanaic who acts extremely submissive and promises to to cook and clean (she claims she loves me sooo much and she will leave her 7 year old daughter to be raised by her grandparents because I didn't want to live with her child but it seems awful to take her away from her mother) or the bubbly, conservative, cute 18 year old or many others.


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PrincessPumpkin
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04 Dec 2015, 10:10 pm

Girls you just met think you want to marry them?!? I thought you were just chatting with local girls you met on okc!

Maybe stop giving girls you haven't met the wrong impression and start arranging to meet local girls in a nearby public place like Starbucks or a pub to get to know them first!



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05 Dec 2015, 12:48 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
PrincessPumpkin wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
b9 wrote:
Quote:
Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?
i am not sure that girls have an easier time "getting" dates than men, but i do think they often have more choice foisted upon them.
in most mammalian biology, males are able to copulate many times per day and so they can impregnate whatever lets them impregnate them without fear of their gene's benefactor pool being sullied by a single dud female who gave birth to one of his progeny. for this reason, there is less emphasis on considered selection, and more emphasis on casting their "seed" wide and far.

females generally have a gestation period that limits them to having much fewer offspring in the course of their lives than males can potentially have. therefore it is more important for the female to select suitable genes to fertilize her in order for her to have improved traits in her biological descendency.

i have no idea how this imperative is interwoven into all forms of life but it is. no animal is ever truly cognizant of every reason for it's attraction to something, but they all follow a plan that allows for evolution and evolution is the prevention of inevitable extinction.
That's very interesting. Maybe men still have prehistoric wiring that makes them polygamous. I find this difficult to deal with because I want to be in a monogamous relationship yet there are too many girls to choose from. A really pretty girl is the "perfect girl" yet another girl who's really pretty in a different way is also perfect. Perhaps this is a vestigial remnant from prehistoric times.

It was ok in the old days. In the paleolithic you had your tribe of ~100 people. In ancient or medieval times you had your village of ~100 people. Nowadays we have the global village, billions of people. More choices make it so much harder to choose.

How does this apply to me? I found a vein of girls on OK Cupid, several of whom want to get to know me. They're all really nice but in different ways. Who's to say if one kind of pretty is better than another type of pretty? They all have really nice personalities but in different ways. How can I say one personality is better than another?

I feel very conflicted, because even though we're just chatting on OK Cupid when I start chatting to a new girl, I feel like I'm cheating on the last girl, who I haven't yet cut ties with. I worry they'll find out about each other. It overwhelms me. It confuses me. Having too many pretty girls take interest in me makes me feel like I'm drinking from a fire hose.
Chat away. To as many girls as you like. Until you're dating someone exclusively, the world is your oyster!
I'm so relieved because at least three of them think that I want to marry them. Eventually I'll have to dump all but one but I hate hurting people's feelings. Also it's really time consuming for me to chat enough so that they all I think they have my undivided attention.

All this is contingency plans until I can get Michelle back. I don't know why but she's just so mysteriously perfect. Even her flaws are perfect. Michelle's mother was really mad at her for dumping me so when she sees her next she will attempt to bring her to her senses.

If Michelle refuses, I don't know which girl I should go with. I can't choose between the on again off again ugly 31 year old nympomanaic who acts extremely submissive and promises to to cook and clean (she claims she loves me sooo much and she will leave her 7 year old daughter to be raised by her grandparents because I didn't want to live with her child but it seems awful to take her away from her mother) or the bubbly, conservative, cute 18 year old or many others.


The way you talk about the women you date makes you sound like a really terrible person. Maybe you're not really that bad, but you are not coming off well here. You sound like you have no respect for these women as human beings and it's very sad to read. I hope--if what you have expressed here is how you really feel--that all 3 of these women get away from you because they deserve better.



Ardentmisanthrope23
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05 Dec 2015, 6:15 am

It's the way male/female ape mating works.

For male apes it makes sense to mate with as many females as possible, to maximize his offspring and outcompete rivals.

Female apes are far more heavily invested physically and in terms of caregiving, and they can only nurse a certain number of infants in their lifetime. therefore they need to pick the best mate they can get.

Hence, women(who are homo sapiens apes) logically should pick the best (homo sapiens)man they can get. :wink:

It's instinct, in other words. All the language we use to camouflage it is just B*****t. :twisted:


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hurtloam
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05 Dec 2015, 8:46 am

You have to understand that Michelle is an individual with her own will. She has the right to choose who she wants to be with. Imagine that you broke up with someone you don't feel is right for you. Then your mother tries to pressure you to get back with her. How would you feel?

It wouldn't feel good. You would feel frustrated that no one was listening to you.

You have written very nasty things about the 31 year old you've been talking to online. Can you see how unkind your words are? It doesn't matter how horrible you think she is, there is no need to be so derogatory, it only makes you look bad. If you don't like her, then don't have a relationship with her. I feel sorry for her child.

You need to be with someone you respect.

You asked why one personality is better than another. No one is really better than anyone else, but finding a girlfriend isn't just about meeting a woman who is ok with accepting the title "girlfriend". What you are looking for is someone that you like to talk to, someone who has qualities you find appealing, someone you want to be around, someone you want to make happy. It starts with conversation that you enjoy together, then you want to meet and then you find you enjoy spending time together in person and you want to spend more and more time together.

What are you looking for? What kind of person do you see yourself with?



wilburforce
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05 Dec 2015, 1:51 pm

Ardentmisanthrope23 wrote:
It's the way male/female ape mating works.

For male apes it makes sense to mate with as many females as possible, to maximize his offspring and outcompete rivals.

Female apes are far more heavily invested physically and in terms of caregiving, and they can only nurse a certain number of infants in their lifetime. therefore they need to pick the best mate they can get.

Hence, women(who are homo sapiens apes) logically should pick the best (homo sapiens)man they can get. :wink:

It's instinct, in other words. All the language we use to camouflage it is just B*****t. :twisted:


Yup, we're all just a bunch of ape animals with no sentience or free will or culture. Oh, wait a minute...



RetroGamer87
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05 Dec 2015, 6:10 pm

PrincessPumpkin wrote:
Girls you just met think you want to marry them?!? I thought you were just chatting with local girls you met on okc!
I really do want to marry them. All of them. It's so hard to choose only one.
PrincessPumpkin wrote:
Maybe stop giving girls you haven't met the wrong impression and start arranging to meet local girls in a nearby public place like Starbucks or a pub to get to know them first!
Meeting local girls is hard for me. Nearly all the time they reject me. Asking girls out in meatspace makes me really nervous. Also the good thing about chatting to girls in Asia is that Asia has a higher concentration of Asian girls than Australia and I really like Asian girls.

Not exclusively though. My half Tongan half brother, who is a good deal younger than me, has the most beautiful young girlfriend. She's tall and thin is with flawless creamy white skin. I'm so jealous of him getting a girlfriend when he's younger than I was when I had my first girlfriend earlier this year (not an internet one, a real one). If only I hadn't be really around girls when I was younger.


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Icelandcar
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05 Dec 2015, 6:24 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
PrincessPumpkin wrote:
Girls you just met think you want to marry them?!? I thought you were just chatting with local girls you met on okc!
I really do want to marry them. All of them. It's so hard to choose only one.
PrincessPumpkin wrote:
Maybe stop giving girls you haven't met the wrong impression and start arranging to meet local girls in a nearby public place like Starbucks or a pub to get to know them first!
Meeting local girls is hard for me. Nearly all the time they reject me. Asking girls out in meatspace makes me really nervous. Also the good thing about chatting to girls in Asia is that Asia has a higher concentration of Asian girls than Australia and I really like Asian girls.

Not exclusively though. My half Tongan half brother, who is a good deal younger than me, has the most beautiful young girlfriend. She's tall and thin is with flawless creamy white skin. I'm so jealous of him getting a girlfriend when he's younger than I was when I had my first girlfriend earlier this year (not an internet one, a real one). If only I hadn't be really around girls when I was younger.


Wanting to marry random women you haven't met who live thousands of miles away? Many of them? No words, no advice, that's just sad and pathetic.

Because you are too nervous to talk to actual, local, in person women in your city?

Jealousy of a younger sibling for something that isn't changeable (short of a time machine)? Keep dwelling, get really bitter, that's super helpful.



AR1500
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05 Dec 2015, 9:28 pm

wilburforce wrote:
Ardentmisanthrope23 wrote:
It's the way male/female ape mating works.

For male apes it makes sense to mate with as many females as possible, to maximize his offspring and outcompete rivals.

Female apes are far more heavily invested physically and in terms of caregiving, and they can only nurse a certain number of infants in their lifetime. therefore they need to pick the best mate they can get.

Hence, women(who are homo sapiens apes) logically should pick the best (homo sapiens)man they can get. :wink:

It's instinct, in other words. All the language we use to camouflage it is just B*****t. :twisted:


Yup, we're all just a bunch of ape animals with no sentience or free will or culture. Oh, wait a minute...



Image



The existence of free will has never been scientifically demonstrated. And there is a LOT of evidence against it! Carry on, Ayn Rand.....



wilburforce
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05 Dec 2015, 11:33 pm

Ewwwwwww, I hate Ayn Rand and people who quote her get nothing but side-eye from me.



Jacoby
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05 Dec 2015, 11:36 pm

Ayn Rand use to love to giving people the side eye :P



wilburforce
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06 Dec 2015, 12:21 am

Jacoby wrote:
Ayn Rand use to love to giving people the side eye :P


Good for her. I still think she was a useless twat and am glad she's dead and no longer writing insufferably self-involved "literature".



RetroGamer87
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06 Dec 2015, 5:38 am

Icelandcar wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
PrincessPumpkin wrote:
Girls you just met think you want to marry them?!? I thought you were just chatting with local girls you met on okc!
I really do want to marry them. All of them. It's so hard to choose only one.
PrincessPumpkin wrote:
Maybe stop giving girls you haven't met the wrong impression and start arranging to meet local girls in a nearby public place like Starbucks or a pub to get to know them first!
Meeting local girls is hard for me. Nearly all the time they reject me. Asking girls out in meatspace makes me really nervous. Also the good thing about chatting to girls in Asia is that Asia has a higher concentration of Asian girls than Australia and I really like Asian girls.

Not exclusively though. My half Tongan half brother, who is a good deal younger than me, has the most beautiful young girlfriend. She's tall and thin is with flawless creamy white skin. I'm so jealous of him getting a girlfriend when he's younger than I was when I had my first girlfriend earlier this year (not an internet one, a real one). If only I hadn't be really around girls when I was younger.
Wanting to marry random women you haven't met who live thousands of miles away? Many of them? No words, no advice, that's just sad and pathetic.Because you are too nervous to talk to actual, local, in person women in your city?

Jealousy of a younger sibling for something that isn't changeable (short of a time machine)? Keep dwelling, get really bitter, that's super helpful.
I know I'm sad and pathetic. I tell myself that everyday.

I'm in my current position for reasons that are all my fault.

Short one time machine? The only way I can go back in time is to get with a girl who's 18 or 19 or 20 or so. But the trouble is at the moment my main interest is with a girl who's 31. What's a guy to do?


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hurtloam
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06 Dec 2015, 5:48 am

You can't change where you've been, but you can change where you're going.

I feel like we've slipped into the area of male order brides. I'm not comfortable with this. I'm out.



RetroGamer87
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06 Dec 2015, 6:08 am

hurtloam wrote:
I feel like we've slipped into the area of male order brides. I'm not comfortable with this. I'm out.
Not quite but nearly. The trouble is there are so many of them to choose from and they're all so nice :?


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AR1500
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06 Dec 2015, 8:24 am

hurtloam wrote:
You can't change where you've been, but you can change where you're going.

I feel like we've slipped into the area of male order brides. I'm not comfortable with this. I'm out.



Male order brides? LoLoLoLoLoL