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Why do you think a relationship will make you happy?

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Aspie1
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09 Aug 2017, 10:40 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Having a stable job and my own place has made me a magnet for 30 year olds :lol:

Some of them are still pretty though.
Be VERY careful with women around age 30. It may be true that they're drawn to you like a magnet. But read on!

Late 20's to mid 30's is when lots of women are looking for a stable, reliable beta male to settle down with. Because even though alpha males have excellent genes and women want to have sex with them, their ability to provide resources isn't always good. But before you smile and think "I DO have resources", remember that women are NOT attracted to beta males. The only reason they go near a beta male is to gain access to whatever makes him stable and reliable. Not because they feel attracted to him. It's similar to a popular girl in high school flirting with a dorky guy she knows. He's her best hope to pass a class they share. It's either giving him some fake romantic attention for a while, or having to repeat the class.



Last edited by Aspie1 on 09 Aug 2017, 10:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sabreclaw
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09 Aug 2017, 10:47 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Having a stable job and my own place has made me a magnet for 30 year olds :lol:

Some of them are still pretty though.
Be VERY careful with women around age 30. It may be true that they're drawn to you like a magnet. But read on!

Late 20's to mid 30's is when lots of women are looking for a stable, reliable beta male to settle down with. Because even though alpha males have excellent genes and women want to have sex with them, their ability to provide resources isn't always good. But before you smile and think "I DO have resources", remember that women are NOT attracted to beta males. The only reason they go near a beta male is to gain access to whatever makes him stable and reliable. Not because they feel attracted to him. It's similar to a popular girl in high school flirting with the dorky guy in she knows. He's her only hope to pass a class they share. It's either giving him some fake romantic attention for a while, or having to repeat the class.


Have you ever tried thinking of women as actual individuals rather than stereotypes?



Aspie1
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09 Aug 2017, 11:04 pm

Sabreclaw wrote:
Have you ever tried thinking of women as actual individuals rather than stereotypes?
Let me give it a shot.
Trying: [...........] 0%
Trying: [||.........] 20%
Trying: [||||||.....] 50%
Trying: [|||||||||..] 85%
Trying: [||||||||||.] 99%
ERROR: Insufficient "resources" (hehe) available.

Sorry, couldn't do it. :|

Seriously, women are very much individuals; I'm not denying it. But sexual selection in mammals was around for tens of millions years before humans came along. That's when the "alpha male" and "beta male" dichotomy first took root. And modern human cognition, that's barely 20,000 years old, isn't strong enough to overcome something that was around for over a thousand times longer. Concepts like "individuality" are less than 3,000 years old, which is tiny in terms of evolution. We domesticated cats 8,000 years ago, and they still possess some wild traits. Heck, America, the poster boy of individualism, didn't even exist until 1776. Which makes it, like what, 241 years old. That's nothing in terms of evolution.

So don't blame me. Blame our sorry excuse for a species.



RetroGamer87
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10 Aug 2017, 12:01 am

Why don't alpha males have resources?


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10 Aug 2017, 12:43 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Speaking of which, I've felt elated the whole day. Last night I asked out a charming Korean girl and she said yes. Who says girls can't make me happy :)

I tend to be happy when messagenging with a woman. Doesn't last as they always end it sayin I'm unattractive but they liked my personality



Aspie1
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10 Aug 2017, 7:18 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Why don't alpha males have resources?
The correlation between alpha/beta genes and a man's socioeconomic status is quite small. Alpha/beta is about strength, status, and power (or lack thereof). Some alpha males are very rich, like Chef Ramsey. Others are street thugs, gangsters, etc. Both possess a great deal of power over people around them, be it via respect, fear, loathing, or all three. The latter types, however, can't give a 30-something woman the stable lifestyle she wants, emotionally or financially. Their genes are still excellent, and women know this subconsciously.

Beta males can also be rich or poor. But their main traits are security and stability, not sex appeal or power. Which makes women want to marry them after a certain age, because by then, wanting to give their future kids a good life takes priority. Sexual attraction toward those men is still not there. Why else would most marriages be as unhappy and sexless as media sources say they are? And why else would divorce rates be so high?

I'm sure The_Face_of_Boo will agree with me on this one. I look forward to his comments on my post.



rdos
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10 Aug 2017, 7:28 am

Aspie1 wrote:
Seriously, women are very much individuals; I'm not denying it. But sexual selection in mammals was around for tens of millions years before humans came along. That's when the "alpha male" and "beta male" dichotomy first took root. And modern human cognition, that's barely 20,000 years old, isn't strong enough to overcome something that was around for over a thousand times longer. Concepts like "individuality" are less than 3,000 years old, which is tiny in terms of evolution. We domesticated cats 8,000 years ago, and they still possess some wild traits. Heck, America, the poster boy of individualism, didn't even exist until 1776. Which makes it, like what, 241 years old. That's nothing in terms of evolution.


Aren't you mixing up a lot of unrelated things here? Sure, sexual selection has been around for a long time, but it is not selecting for fixed traits like power or status. In fact, power, resources and status are mostly human concepts, so are not millions of years old. Rather, the traits connected to alpha status in humans are not the same traits that are connected to alpha status in bonobo or other mammals. Instead, the desirable traits are species-typical, and not universal.



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10 Aug 2017, 7:42 am

rdos wrote:
Aspie1 wrote:
Seriously, women are very much individuals; I'm not denying it. But sexual selection in mammals was around for tens of millions years before humans came along. That's when the "alpha male" and "beta male" dichotomy first took root. And modern human cognition, that's barely 20,000 years old, isn't strong enough to overcome something that was around for over a thousand times longer. Concepts like "individuality" are less than 3,000 years old, which is tiny in terms of evolution. We domesticated cats 8,000 years ago, and they still possess some wild traits. Heck, America, the poster boy of individualism, didn't even exist until 1776. Which makes it, like what, 241 years old. That's nothing in terms of evolution.


Aren't you mixing up a lot of unrelated things here? Sure, sexual selection has been around for a long time, but it is not selecting for fixed traits like power or status. In fact, power, resources and status are mostly human concepts, so are not millions of years old. Rather, the traits connected to alpha status in humans are not the same traits that are connected to alpha status in bonobo or other mammals. Instead, the desirable traits are species-typical, and not universal.

Indeed. For all practical purposes, the alpha/beta thing in humans is mostly imagined at this point.

The divorce rate was mentioned. Thing with divorce is people who get divorced and remarry often fail to correct their own behaviors leading up to the failure of the first marriage, thus that 50% rate is influenced by repeat offenders. It's reasonable to conclude there are many happy, long-lived, healthy marriages out there.



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10 Aug 2017, 7:50 am

Closet Genious wrote:
What makes you believe that a relationship will fulfill you?


Love and sex
Cuddling in front of a movie
Hiking, mountainbiking and travelling to other countries
Two people who pay rent
Doing new things & getting new perspectives
Waking up next to someone
Spooning
Kissing
Talking about the future and making plans
Cooking in the kitchen
Getting/sending "i love you" messages.
Getting/giving hugs
Bingewatch series together
Visit museums you both like, or follow anyway and learn something new
Shop together or visit fleamarkets
Do home improvements together
Massaging her feet or giving her a neckmassage
Shower together (may lead to sex)

The alternative is - none of the above.

But i guess it's only obvious if one has had a relationship, then one may find that Aspergers does not turn off ones emotions.


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RetroGamer87
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10 Aug 2017, 8:09 am

rdos wrote:
Aspie1 wrote:
Seriously, women are very much individuals; I'm not denying it. But sexual selection in mammals was around for tens of millions years before humans came along. That's when the "alpha male" and "beta male" dichotomy first took root. And modern human cognition, that's barely 20,000 years old, isn't strong enough to overcome something that was around for over a thousand times longer. Concepts like "individuality" are less than 3,000 years old, which is tiny in terms of evolution. We domesticated cats 8,000 years ago, and they still possess some wild traits. Heck, America, the poster boy of individualism, didn't even exist until 1776. Which makes it, like what, 241 years old. That's nothing in terms of evolution.


Aren't you mixing up a lot of unrelated things here? Sure, sexual selection has been around for a long time, but it is not selecting for fixed traits like power or status. In fact, power, resources and status are mostly human concepts, so are not millions of years old. Rather, the traits connected to alpha status in humans are not the same traits that are connected to alpha status in bonobo or other mammals. Instead, the desirable traits are species-typical, and not universal.


Speaking of natural selection, an important trait is survival. If these beta males live dangerous lifestyles they might not live long enough to procreate. Evolution won't select for that.


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10 Aug 2017, 8:48 am

I don't care whether I'm a beta, alpha, or omega male. I don't think about that stuff too much when I flirt.



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10 Aug 2017, 10:39 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't care whether I'm a beta, alpha, or omega male. I don't think about that stuff too much when I flirt.


I think that Aspie1 is trying to say that this girl doesn't really fancy Retrogamer.
He doesn't think he's being mean. He thinks he's being factual and helpful. (Im giving him the benefit of the doubt even though I think it's mean).

How do we counteract that? I'm not clever enough. I don't think my, just go for it is good enough. I hope it is. Just enjoy yourself Retrogamer.



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10 Aug 2017, 10:56 am

hurtloam wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't care whether I'm a beta, alpha, or omega male. I don't think about that stuff too much when I flirt.


I think that Aspie1 is trying to say that this girl doesn't really fancy Retrogamer.
He doesn't think he's being mean. He thinks he's being factual and helpful. (Im giving him the benefit of the doubt even though I think it's mean).

How do we counteract that? I'm not clever enough. I don't think my, just go for it is good enough. I hope it is. Just enjoy yourself Retrogamer.

Hurtloam is right. QFT.



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10 Aug 2017, 11:12 am

Ichinin wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
What makes you believe that a relationship will fulfill you?


Love and sex
Cuddling in front of a movie
Hiking, mountainbiking and travelling to other countries
Two people who pay rent
Doing new things & getting new perspectives
Waking up next to someone
Spooning
Kissing
Talking about the future and making plans
Cooking in the kitchen
Getting/sending "i love you" messages.
Getting/giving hugs
Bingewatch series together
Visit museums you both like, or follow anyway and learn something new
Shop together or visit fleamarkets
Do home improvements together
Massaging her feet or giving her a neckmassage
Shower together (may lead to sex)

The alternative is - none of the above.

But i guess it's only obvious if one has had a relationship, then one may find that Aspergers does not turn off ones emotions.


I've had 3, it's still not obvious to me how it makes one happy. It sounds really good on paper, but in the real world all the negatives cancel out the positives for me.



Aspie1
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10 Aug 2017, 9:01 pm

hurtloam wrote:
I think that Aspie1 is trying to say that this girl doesn't really fancy Retrogamer.
He doesn't think he's being mean. He thinks he's being factual and helpful. (Im giving him the benefit of the doubt even though I think it's mean).

How do we counteract that? I'm not clever enough. I don't think my, just go for it is good enough. I hope it is. Just enjoy yourself Retrogamer.
Nowhere in my post did I intent to be mean. I was just warning RetroGamer87 that things aren't always what they seem. Namely, that a woman's interest in a beta male is sometimes not genuine. And since most aspie men are beta males, the warning isn't without merit. Especially considering that 80% of all men are betas.

Oh, and I subscribe to the Red Pill forum. It's a very rough-and-tumble place, far, far meaner than this forum will ever get. The information there is very helpful, though. I do try to "sanitize" the material a little bit when talking about it (like how Brothers Grimm fairy tales were sanitized over time), but some of the original tone leaks through, it seems.



Last edited by Aspie1 on 10 Aug 2017, 9:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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10 Aug 2017, 9:17 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I think that Aspie1 is trying to say that this girl doesn't really fancy Retrogamer.
He doesn't think he's being mean. He thinks he's being factual and helpful. (Im giving him the benefit of the doubt even though I think it's mean).

How do we counteract that? I'm not clever enough. I don't think my, just go for it is good enough. I hope it is. Just enjoy yourself Retrogamer.
Nowhere in my post did I intent to be mean. I was just warning RetroGamer87 that things aren't always what they seem. Namely, that a woman's interest in a beta male is sometimes not genuine. And since most aspie men are beta males, the warning isn't without merit. Especially considering that 80% of all men are betas.

Oh, and I subscribe to the Red Pill forum. It's a very rough-and-tumble place, far, far meaner than this forum will ever get. The information there is very helpful, though.


Hasn't Alex made comments and come out and said that he thinks PUA and red pill stuff is dangerous for aspies (because it is sexist and rapey) and he doesn't want to see it promoted here? I could swear I remember seeing him post something like that.