Aspires and NT relationship issues

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About what, specifically? In your mind you have an idea what you are concerned about. Please say what that is.

ImHere, I think I’m being messed with. Everybody is being cryptic and when I ask them not to be, they are continuing to be anyway. Would you mind reading through the last several messages and explain what you think might of happened?

I have no idea. I thought it was weird too, after a big discussion about saying what you mean and mean what you say. I'm confused.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a famous saying, “Hasta la vista, baby!” I asked a simple question, couldn’t get a simple answer (I’m referring to shygirl and Britte). So I’m bailing on this thread. Good bye and good luck!

^ That seems sensible.
I just read what happened and I'm getting very bad vibes too.

That was entertaining.

Good morning! To all concerned about the comments I made about wanting to be that "special girl" who "breaks through" to a guy and "wins him over..."

First, my intention is not to exploit anyone in friendship or romance on this forum or in real life. Second, Britte and ShyGirl misinterpreted my intentions but not necessarily the negative nature of the past feelings and actions I described. I am human just like you and so as humans we have a wide spectrum of intentions, emotions, and actions.

What I was describing was no ill or exploitive INTENT but rather actions that can result from unchecked feelings of infatuation. When our feelings are unchecked and we let our emotions drive our actions many times negative consequences can occur. I think this is what Britte is referencing when she says she's experienced this a few times in her past. When NTs (or really any human) let emotions alone dictate what we do without tempering with logical thinking, we can get in trouble and cause negative consequences for ourselves and other people.

The context in which I used the example was from my past...and it was a very specific comment to @imhere in reference to the same NT behaviors she was describing in herself. So, it was a conversation from one NT to another NT as a warning about letting emotions take control to the point of causing negative consequences for people you care about.

I hope that helps clear things up a bit for everyone. If not, feel free to ask me and I will tell you directly. I see only good intentions on Britte and ShyGirl's part and I'm not offended by the misunderstanding as it's difficult to know intent from a message board post alone. We don't know each other personally.

It seems I missed a lot while I was writing the below, but hopefully it is helpful anyway.

Britte, I've been thinking that about the alexithymia issue for quite a while. This hit home when I asked him if he wanted me to go to a performance of his, he honestly could not answer about if he wanted me there or not, and I really don't think he knew if he did or did not, and this happened on two separate occasions. The first time I went--he was surprised but not angry or anything. The second time, I was frustrated that he couldn't just tell me (I did not know then what I know now), so I didn't go...would you believe the next day he was grumpy and I can't help but to wonder if it was because I was not there.

Interestingly, he asked me on multiple occasions what I thought of HIM. I'm guess this was because he could not analyze that for himself, totally understandable for an aspie. I answered his question in context each time (once it was about his work but once it was personal). But what he probably didn't understand was that I have no idea how he felt about me, and when asked directly the way he asked me, he can't answer. If alexithymia is an issue for him, I suspect he has no idea what that is.

I've tried to learn what I can, but what I really need is to know how HE feels. Not what the research says he may feel or what he may fear. Like I keep feeling: there is a distinct possibility that he just can't stand me. Or it's the Asperger's. Two very different things, but there is no way for me to know, and like you said, I've suspected for some time that he does not know. It seems like an impossible situation. Everyone else around us knew we were close...everyone except for him.

Also, I do love him for all of who he is, I just have no idea how he feels about me.