Majority of autistuc men dont have a girlfriend?

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It's one thing to disagree on what's amusing. It's another to talk like people are flawed for having preferences different from your own.

^ I hope I didn’t do that. That certainly wasn’t my intention. We all like what we like. There’s nothing wrong with that.

I agree with you. Just because you don't understand someone's preference doesn't mean its automatically bad.

If you did I'd probably have called you out directly for it. I'm usually more blunt with friends and people I respect.

Instead it's just a pretty common attitude I see in threads like this. I'm lonely, why do people like what they like instead of what I like? Only idiots like what they like. It's all their fault I don't have friends, I don't want idiots for friends.

They never have the self-awareness to notice that their own attitudes are major contributors to why they struggle both romantically and in other social contexts.

Of course. That's ridiculous thinking. Instead more energy should be focused on improving yourself and uplifting others. There's a quote I saw a while ago.

This person was complaining they couldn't get butterflies to come to them. Mend a garden of your own and the butterflies will come to you. I still complain about how crazy and strange this world is. At the same time I built my own world through storytelling.

It's funny that you've commented a few times about not getting the appeal of sports and now you bring up storytelling.

Narratives are a huge part of why watching sports appeals to so many people. Every player and every team is part of multiple stories. People pay attention to the characters and the plotlines that emerge and they look forward to how those plotlines resolve (or fail to resolve) as the season progresses.

Literally, it's the same thing that makes TV shows, movies, novels, comics, etc interesting.

I like sports playoffs, championships and Olympics because of the emotions of the players and families.
I also love the bios on players when you find out how hard they've practised or sacrifices they've made.

For me it's nothing to do with narratives (stats) but I know it is for many fans like my son.
For me I could watch even with the volume off, just enjoying their faces.

Stats don't form a narrative. Narrative is roughly synonymous with story. I'd say statistics are another aspect separate from the story.

OK, I get that. I just meant that I don't follow team narratives like knowing who the coach is or what the team history is (other than the Leafs losing streak), but I do like the narratives / quick bios of individual athletes like they show during the Olympics as inspirational material. I don't even remember most people's names but I love the emotional stuff.

I've noticed this trend. They want to be accepted exactly as they are but have extremely high standards for others.

Sometimes, from some people it comes across as a disdain for others.

I prefer just being open about my own limitations.
I certainly have a lot.

If people can accept each other as they are, it usually works well.


Minor changes I wanted from my partner -

Don't wear cologne (he didn't often anyway)
Don't use scented laundry detergent
Put up some blackout curtains

I also had to explain that I process feelings really slowly.
That means I can't have important conversations without time to digest.

The question I ask myself anymore on this topic when I think about it - considering women's prime imperatives based on their unique vulnerability as far as pregnancy, child birth, risks of abandonment, whether or not her man intimidates other men or looks like a target to other men, I'm surprised any autistic guys (short of our billionaire's club like Musk and Zuckerberg or guys who just genetically look like Hell's Angels enforcers) end up with partners, at least straight autistic men.

The other problem is that if autism genes are a positive feedback loop that increases disability with quantity (it may be much more complicated though), sexuality is primarily eugenic. Think of the Queen of Hearts from Alice In Wonderland - that's nature, she's an ablist psychopath who, like the devil, you don't stop dancing with until the music stops.

Last edited by techstepgenr8tion on 21 Jul 2024, 10:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thanks, I feel the same way.

With some people on here over the years, I think it’s been more of a cop-out. If women (or whatever other demographic) are the problem, then they don’t need to try by adjusting their attitude or behavior because no amount of trying will do any good.

It seems to be easier/more convenient for folks to think of men and women as homogeneous groups rather than individuals with extremely diverse thoughts, opinions, and preferences, but it’s a very warped depiction of reality, and it’s probably not going to lead to much happiness in the long-term as far as romance goes. (I know you know that. I’m just sayin’.)

My son, my dad, and both my grandfathers were autistic (OK, not dx but definitely fit the bill) and I think they make / made outstanding partners because of their autism. It made them hardworking with keen attention to detail, very dedicated to their passions and talents, and extremely honest / loyal. They were / are down to earth people who care more about personlities than peer pressure. They were / are also homebodies who put 100% into their homes and families instead of spreading themselves thin over many superficial friends.

Not all autistic men or people are like that, but if they are I think they're a catch.

yeah, i'm in contact with one guy with autism, he says he never had a girlfriend until 32, he says, while glad he met her, he says he's not proud of the fact it took him that long, but it is what it is unfortuneately.

Those are the types of people I tend to get along with. Finding them in the mix of everything else seems like it's gotten harder these days.