The PUA community

Post Reply New Topic

How specificity is autism literature wrong? Which specificity books are wrong? Whom specificity says that autism literature is wrong? What specifically happened to you last year?

Stop making subconscious indirect personal attacks on my friend

Don't know what that's called in PUA land, but here in reality we call it an 'ad hominem'

You're stepping dangerously close to the kind of personal attacks that will get you warned and then banned here.

Can I say none of the above? The problem we run into I think most often is that everything from the way we piece together reality, the way we approach problems, and the way we have to 'grow' up are entirely different from most of what's around us. For us social skills simply aren't social skills as no matter how good your bottom line skills are or how much you intend to exercise them the problem is that you have two strikes against you that mean significantly more than knowing what to say or do at the right time; 1) fragmented body language, 2) alternate fundamental instincts. Fragmented body language means that people already don't trust you and will often react differently to you doing something than if someone else said and did the same exact thing. Alternate instincts means that you rarely be able to react on the fly, everything will be thought out, measure, reserved - this is another big red flag to NT's that you're hiding something.

I'm frankly amazed that anyone still calls AS or anything related to autism fundamentally a 'social skill' issue, 'social skill' issues are a symptom, the actuality of what autism is and how it effects people - that's much bigger.

That said, people get into situations in life where what they're doing doesn't work, the going definitions of maturity and their fitting that role aren't enough, they try to figure it out and often the only thing that makes sense is - when the same thing day in and day out doesn't work - that they need to try something new. The trouble is, with all communication, is that its essentially manipulative. Ideally you're using language, communication, and behavior to communicate to the world and assert who you really are. Not only that, communication is often used for people to assert who they are as well as push the boundaries of their bargaining power with the world around them so that they can get what they believe is a fair deal from their environment. What the PUA's are often insinuating - in the area where they're helpful to some extent - is that there are a lot of hazards, cultural markers, and areas where people will judge you on things that you may never be taught about. Its one thing when people want to just find anything they can hit and quit and go on like that, its another when someone means to assert their identity rather than have it filled in by random strangers and while this will always happen you find yourself in a better place when communication is accurate and they're judging you or taking interest based on what's there. Ideally the people you run into will either like or hate you for reasons that you're proud of, when its not like that and its often not like that, it can be quite uncomfortable. I wouldn't recommend at all taking their advice all the way and going out to try and land one-nighters, its very thin gruel in terms of gratification, just that I wouldn't advise against reading them either. Particularly for aspies - we don't inherently think the way NT's do, its not through any fault of our own, our motivational cores trickle through a different coffee filter altogether and what we end up with, left to our own devices, is great for us if we all lived on our own planets by ourselves however it would destroy us living in a society where we don't necessarily make the rules, set the trends, and where those who do are this different from us.

heeheehee i am actually 3 thirteen-year-olds! not just 1, silly.

you can label my thinking however you like - i am not bothered about it. what i am bothered about is a person trying to take advantage of the vulnerability of aspies by selling them the "98 pound weakling" cure-all. your theories are not field tested or scientifically sound - this is the way of your brand of sales technique. it utilizes "personal success stories" to convince a mark that they can be just as successful against all odds. thank goodness that the people on this board are not as naive as you think!

you seem so certain that no other aspies have been successful with any other technique or approach, but you are incorrect, and your ideas do not stand as some kind of oasis in a sea of failure. many of us have had much success and we offer ideas that work quite well - without having the same negative effects or ethical dilemmae as the ideas you propose.

in addition, some users on the board have tried PUA techniques, and from the massive amount of reading i've done on the boards, the results were as follows:

1. success in picking up women (but the PUA stuff was later discarded as it is empty at its core, or unethical, or fake, or caused an inability to truly connect with other people anymore, etc.)
2. success in picking up women, and the member continued to use PUA stuff and advocated it for others
3. no success in picking up women

these options are not generally concerned with emotional growth, except for the people who rejected the PUA stuff as they outgrew the idea that it is a positive idea to manipulate others for their own gain.

oh, and... just because you SAY you have experienced emotional maturity does not mean it is actually true. i am not seeing any particular evidence of such growth in the examples you have provided so far. and your idea that emotional maturity follows social skills maturity is unbased in any factual evidence.

oh, and by the way... i see what you did there:

start off with a veiled insult that's supposed to shame me, followed by an attempt to cajole me to your side.

i haven't read any books about this, but the approach is a little obvious. i'm as old as you say and i've seen a thing or two. if you want to play, you need to sharpen your tools.

^ *nods*

no, not at all. i was saying exactly what i think. i can answer the more detailed message tomorrow, but just a quick response here -- what you've done is analyzed my message and extrapolated the core from it. you're right, even though i hadn't planned it. my message was just what i thought.

and that is why PUA is powerful - because its just written expression of how humans connect. they've done what you just did, extrapolating the core message of everything related to dating -- except it was a community of thousands collaborating over the internet so it got pretty advanced. the coincidence is that it also helps aspies tremendously.

now we're going to take it to the next level and apply the same material to help all aspies. i would be honored if you could give honest feedback once i've written this up more clearly, because the only way i'm going to get this to work is if i can find the way to make it so blindly obvious that even my biggest critics admit it looks right.

^ I think that is evidence of the worst of the PUA mindset. Pure mind games, at their very worst. It makes me nauseous to think that vulnerable men are being peddled this crap, not to mention the damage that is done to women through this.

no thank you. honestly, it doesn't work to try to flatter or fluff most aspies in this way. i disagree with the premise itself, so i would rather not be involved in the process. also, you do not have permission to utilize or publish any of my responses. just in case you were planning to.

This all feels like the George Sodini thread revisited.

For real. Apparently it's too hard to be honest these days. :/

You're avoiding the detail, just like you avoiding going toe to toe with me. ROFL So thats the masterplan then? Are you just a simple foot soldier, well I never! Feedback please choice what I should give you my feedback with then, right foot, left foot, right fist or left fist?

Oh please do carry on behaving like you are now as your end getting banded from this site.
Its perfectly clear about the majority of people around hear about they view of PUA, and its very clearly this
PUA CAN JOG ON, ITS UNWELCOME HERE!!

You might wish to leave us alone under your own steam before you receive an assisted exit out of here!!

you didn't ever answer this question.

intentionally. i answered it earlier on but you haven't been reading some of my posts which has been frustrating.

but i'll answer again:

YES. and to be crystal clear: we had sex. the difference was that the girls really, really fell in love with me-- and i started to build an amazing connection with them, something i'd not experienced at that level before in my life.

this is with 2 different girls in the last 18 months. those didn't work long term due to circumstances in my life, but i am optimistic i will find the perfect girl to spend the rest of my life with before too long.

well, the reason i asked is because you stated that you didn't learn the techniques for the purpose of actually picking women up, but that was not true... you did, indeed, use the techniques for that purpose.

you may have been lucky (or unlucky depending on the perspective), and actually gotten something more out of it that one single night, but that is not the aim of the PUA teachings. if it were actually useful in the way of building solid relationships, then people would be using it for that. but generally... it isn't, because PUA stuff is built on false premises and emptiness.

These PUA communities are a joke.

A bunch of a low life losers trying to perfect the art of manipulating women or hunting them like wolves.