Sexism on L&D

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Cube's not a bad guy...he's a Socratic Diamond in the Rough.

Heheheh?funny you should ask!! !

Actually, I have a pretty big story about my music, but I'm not sure I should tell anyone here at the moment. I'm one of THOSE people who has weird stuff happen all the time and if I told it, it would come across as BS.

I'll leave it at this for now: If at all possible, watch truTV this fall season. Look for a reality show docuseries called "Local News." I have NO idea what's going to happen, but for a few weeks my life got?um?interesting.

Other than that I've got my first album in the works. Music isn't the problem. Funding the project is, so once I clear that hurdle MAYBE I'll try to get something on amazon.

Been messing around with Blender to make some abstract animated backgrounds for some ambient projects I'm tentatively planning in the next year or two. I've gleaned about all I can from the NASA/Hubble websites, and I'm looking at changing directions musically anyway. I'll keep all that posted in the Art/Music/Writing forum as that precipitates.

What kind of music do you sing Angel? If it's Gospel or Christian music I know a guy in Birmingham who knows a guy who owns a company that handles that kind of music.

I heard Birmingham's a pretty big city that used to be like Pittsburgh, in that it makes steel.

Would you be available for a buzz?

It was the Pittsburgh of the South back in the day. My grandfather worked at US Steel for most of his life and we lived not far from it when I was growing up. Red Mountain also has a huge iron ore seam but it's left alone right now. There was a lot of strip mining out in the country areas surrounding Birmingham (I grew up in the city and lived there till 01) and I remember as teenagers we would go out to the old closed down strip pits that were full of water and swim. They were extremely deep and I couldn't swim so I stayed on a tube. Then a guy I was dating drowned and I got scared of water and married his brother who was a year younger than me just to get out of my house with my mother and then divorced that piece of s**t when I found out I was bigger than him and could hit him back actually, but that took a little over a year.

I can't talk right now. I got a house full of loud kids and I'm in and out of the kitchen helping my daughter with the cake pans and washing up while she bakes. You got a FB? If so inbox me the info and I'll friend you there. I'm on there more than here and actually use the chat on it. I won't call without clearing it first lol. Don't you either lol.

Can't do FB from here. Only from home.

Nah....I'm an ask-permission type of guy, definitely.

Well at least you scored a point with the Paranoid Pair for saying that!

(Paranoid Pair, I'm only joking. Please chill and don't take it personally. Pretend you are hipsters and look for the irony of all this)

I'll holler at you online later on when it's calmer here. I can text, but keep in mind that my kids and husband use that phone too, so no humor that they wouldn't get please. I talk to several people from here on the phone, both guys and girls. That's not a problem or anything. I'm just making sure I stay swimming in the shallow end right now

You've got to, sometimes!

With my wife, the seas could be calm, or there could be a tsunami.

BTW: she gets really perturbed when I "ask permission"

i can't say i appreciate your sense of humour in this case, as i don't believe you are calling me things like "paranoid pair" and "doublemint twins" in good humour, but are actually mocking me. i would appreciate if you would stop mocking me, as i don't feel it's very polite or decent, if the person you're mocking isn't laughing along with you. if you did it with less ill will i might be able to laugh along with you.

My unofficial position....

1. This is a "moderated forum." Blatant sexist statements ("All men are potential rapists and deserve to be castrated!") will be subject to censure. If you want to express your opinions in an unfettered manner, join 4Chan.

2. HOWEVER, we also host many people here who are at different levels of functioning, and/or have various co-morbids. Therefore, as a moderator, it falls upon me to ferret out people who are being intentionally malicious verses those who just have trouble communicating what they mean verbally.

3. Ideally, I would prefer people use the L&D forum as a venue to discuses "love and dating issues" and leave the "Battle of the Sexes" crap to PPR.

I hope to serve you all well.

--XFG

That.

I don't have any ill will. If I did you would know it. The nickname thing is only in relation to this whole issue, which I so disagree with, but if you haven't had a chance to read the post yet, I did ask somebody or other arguing for it earlier to actually argue for it and present it like they are trying to sell it rather than just go "you're mean". I explained the whole thing on that post. I'm helping my daughter right this second so I'm not going to type it all out again, but if you can find it on one of the few threads about this in this L&D forum, please read what I said and see if you can see what I'm trying to get across.

I have absolutely no ill will and if I was mocking you then referring to you by different nicknames because of this sexism on WP issue wouldn't be at all how I did it. I'm not laughing at YOU either, I'm laughing at your opinion and stance on this thing. I'm only attacking the issue, not you. No reason to attack you, yourself. Just the issue I disagree strongly on and only because it's being discussed about changing policy on here that will effect everybody, not just the guys with no dates, or you and T, but everybody. It also opens the door to censoring or banning content because it's perceived a certain way, no matter how it was meant. Just like whether or not I have ill will. I have none at all toward you hon, I really don't. I'm not being smarmy either. I'm serious. That's just me. When I was writing for that paper and they wouldn't show Ellen's coming out show and I did a piece on that, I referred to the station manager Jerry Heilman as "Sig" Heilman to show my displeasure that he refused to air it because of his so called "family values". I had interviewed him about it beforehand. He was a nice guy otherwise but he wouldn't do it and I told him that while I certainly wouldn't drag him over the coals he still wouldn't be shown in a favorable light at all because I felt it was discrimination. The Sig Heilman thing was a reference to the Sig Heil that the Nazi's yelled in WWII. Before you say it, I didn't have a computer or the internet and knew nothing of the internet or Godwin's Law back then, even though I sorta went there, mainly because it was a pretty good play on words. My using those names for you and T are like that. It's to show my disdain for the issue you are raising and to show that I feel it's not at all accurate and trivial and based on personal reactions rather than sexism. It's not anything personal, I swear to God and Vin Deisel it's not. Really. I mean it. It's only about that.

Now, I want to make it clear that I support people telling mods that they are offended over posts, and I think everybody should be able to feel free to go to them about things that they are offended over, and as long as it's a "I am offended and I feel the OP is sexist/racist/classist/any of the other ists out there" then it's a personal issue between the offended party, the poster and the mods. But when a call comes out to ban things that aren't clearly discriminatory and inciting hatred, then I just have to say something. I'm speaking my mind just like you are with yours, I just speak mine in a different way. Insulting each others position and questioning the reasons for it and even sarcastic crap like nicknames is not me having ill will toward you or attacking you. Not at all. If you want to, you can most certainly do the same back to me in relation to this and even in other posts until this whole issue has been resolved by the admins. I would simply consider what you were doing as being exactly what you do when you are arguing against someone with a very different and strong opinion than you over an issue that is important to you. It's not personal, it's politics. Of course if it is personal from you about me, that's ok too. But I have nothing personal against you at all.

Then stop?



No, I think there are several people here who aren't nearly sensitive enough.



Of course. One of the weirdest forms of defensiveness on these threads is someone saying, "Wul! If we're gonna have that, we oughta have THIS, too!" As if boy howdy, you really got 'em now! They'll sure see how stupid it is and how one-sided they are! And then the people who're talking about sexism just sort of blink at you and say, "Um...yeah. It's all part of respect and treating people decently."

It's funny-peculiar how that impulse just doesn't die. Doesn't seem to matter how many times it happens and doesn't work the way the person thinks it's gonna.

i am simply asking you, if you wish to converse with me, to address me directly by my (user)name and not by a mocking epithet. i have no interest in exchanging epithets with you as i don't find that to be decent behaviour when the person on the receiving end isn't laughing along. i am trying to let you know that i'm not laughing along. so please, if you wish to address comments to me, address me by my username. i don't think that is asking too much.

Good Lord, I won't use any more nicknames then.

I would like to ask you to give cites of the exact comments and posters you had in mind over this issue, and also explain how their comments are actually harming anyone other than a few people taking personal offense at blanket statements please. Also, I'd like to know what your parameters are for sexist speech that you would like to see banned if those parameters will be based to the repercussions that the speech itself might have or on personal offense. I'd also like to know why this policy is even needed when anyone who is offended can already report the poster to the mods.

Thats a few of the things I'd like answers to please.

you have been provided, repeatedly, by myself and others, with examples of the kind of comments that are sexist rather than just venting about personal experiences--which you have responded to by scoffing at them and telling anyone who says such they are "overreacting". how many more examples do you need to be provided with before you will start to actually read/listen to them and begin to give them some real consideration as if they were really coming from actual people you care to treat with respect--50? 100? 1000? you are aware (i believe) that a colleague of tarantella's is working on a written guideline/policy for dealing with sexist comments in a forum, so if you can be patient and wait for that, we will soon have a written draft which can be posted here in the forum into be discussed by members before anything is presented to alex. until then, please listen to the other women (and men) here, not just myself, who are expressing a desire to see less sexism expressed on wrongplanet, and why they feel that way. open your mind a little to their experiences which differ from your own, and try to consider them with respect instead of disdain.

Last edited by starvingartist on 27 Jun 2014, 7:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.