But it’s all about personality >.>

Page 19 of 34 [ 538 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22 ... 34  Next

hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

11 Nov 2017, 3:58 am

I doubt anyone is telling him he’s ugly. You have to be a special type of nasty to say that.

You’re right, school kids and internet losers are the only people who have told me my appearance is revolting. 99% of adults, with the exception of any low lifes who yell things at strangers, don’t say that.

He is filling in the gaps himself with a catastrophic fantasy.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,183
Location: US

11 Nov 2017, 4:32 am

NorthWind wrote:
sly279 wrote:
My optimism died after 20 years of failure and rejection. Have you been ejected by thousands of women? Told your ugly by hundreds of women? I have. I’d like to see anyone keep optimistic after that.


Where do women tell you you're ugly? In what kind of situation did they do so? Did they outright say so, or is that your interpretation of their reaction or something else they said that might imply you're ugly?

Aside from school kids I do not see many people calling each other ugly. Sure some people are very rude about rejecting someone but, assuming that the majority of those thousands of women rejecting you were on dating sites and not in real life, were those calling you ugly also from dating sites? Did they bother to reply to you just to tell you they don't want to date you because they think you're ugly?

You don't look unusual therefore I can't imagine it's random strangers walking up to you just to insult you, unless maybe on rare occasion some teen but that happens to most.

Unattractive is ugly. Just more fancy way of saying it.

Women tell me I’m unattractive all the time,. I message them and they like sorry you’re not attractive.
Some have plain said I’m ugly.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,183
Location: US

11 Nov 2017, 4:33 am

hale_bopp wrote:
I doubt anyone is telling him he’s ugly. You have to be a special type of nasty to say that.

You’re right, school kids and internet losers are the only people who have told me my appearance is revolting. 99% of adults, with the exception of any low lifes who yell things at strangers, don’t say that.

He is filling in the gaps himself with a catastrophic fantasy.


See now your back to being cruel. You utter confuse me.
I’d never say such things about you even though we disagree. Do you not see how mean it is to say that?

Anyone who has different experiences the. Yiu isn’t living a fantasy



Closet Genious
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jan 2017
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,225
Location: Sweden

11 Nov 2017, 4:48 am

I'll quote former harvard professor of psychology.

"Optimists are idiots".

And I completely agree. If you're unhappy, the best way forward is to start trying to solve problems that will better your situation. You can't just be happy in a bad situation, that's so ridiculous to me.



NorthWind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jun 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 577

11 Nov 2017, 5:31 am

sly279 wrote:
NorthWind wrote:
sly279 wrote:
My optimism died after 20 years of failure and rejection. Have you been ejected by thousands of women? Told your ugly by hundreds of women? I have. I’d like to see anyone keep optimistic after that.


Where do women tell you you're ugly? In what kind of situation did they do so? Did they outright say so, or is that your interpretation of their reaction or something else they said that might imply you're ugly?

Aside from school kids I do not see many people calling each other ugly. Sure some people are very rude about rejecting someone but, assuming that the majority of those thousands of women rejecting you were on dating sites and not in real life, were those calling you ugly also from dating sites? Did they bother to reply to you just to tell you they don't want to date you because they think you're ugly?

You don't look unusual therefore I can't imagine it's random strangers walking up to you just to insult you, unless maybe on rare occasion some teen but that happens to most.

Unattractive is ugly. Just more fancy way of saying it.

Women tell me I’m unattractive all the time,. I message them and they like sorry you’re not attractive.
Some have plain said I’m ugly.


Unattractive may be similar to but not the same as ugly. It doesn't need to refer to looks and it's more subjective. Like, I'm usually not attracted to men a lot older than myself, but that doesn't mean I think they're all ugly. Obviously most of them look average. The reason why I'm not attracted to them is because I don't feel particularly mature (not even for my age, let alone compared to someone 15 or more years older than me) Also obviously, I shouldn't tell them they're unattractive because they won't know the reason why I'm not attracted to them is very subjective.
Obviously most of these women won't have felt not attracted to you because of age but maybe at least some of them meant it in a very subjective way due to some other subjective criterion and don't think you're ugly and most definitely not hideous. In some cases the wording might just have been clumsy rather than them being mean spirited and thinking in very negative ways about you.

The ones who directly called you ugly likely were just jerks whom the internet enables to act that way because on the internet there are usually no consequences to being a jerk. You tried with a lot of people. Naturally you also met some jerks. Some of them might be arrogant and think they're a lot better looking than they actually are.

Of course that doesn't change your reality of being single.

Honestly, if you live in an area with high obesity rates you're probably average looking (some men thinner than you, some fatter and an average face for someone your built). If you live in an area where almost all men are slim then your looks would be below average right now (or at least at the time you shared those photos) but they may go to average if you lose a little more weight.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

11 Nov 2017, 5:37 am

If Sly wears decent clothes and has good posture, he would be at least "average."

I've seen men who look similar to him knoodling with women on the subway



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,196
Location: Adelaide, Australia

11 Nov 2017, 5:39 am

If I act like a pessimist, people say it's bad. If I try to be an optimist, other people say it's bad. Which group is right? It's their word against theirs.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

11 Nov 2017, 5:47 am

Sly's student loan debt is probably forgiven, since he's on SSI.

You should look into that, Sly.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,196
Location: Adelaide, Australia

11 Nov 2017, 6:01 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
If Sly wears decent clothes and has good posture, he would be at least "average."

I've seen men who look similar to him knoodling with women on the subway

Posture is the most forgotten and most important thing. Women don't like it when a guy's head is sticking out forward like a vulture.

My kung fu teacher says to have good posture you need to squeeze your lower abs until your back is straight. Sly should try this. If your back is straight, your neck still be straight, if your belly is thrust out forward, your neck will be thrust forward.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


Closet Genious
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jan 2017
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,225
Location: Sweden

11 Nov 2017, 6:41 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
If I act like a pessimist, people say it's bad. If I try to be an optimist, other people say it's bad. Which group is right? It's their word against theirs.


Sorry, I was a bit dogmatic in my post.

Optimism can be good if you use it as a tool to solve a problem.

What I meant was people who tell you "to just be happy", as a solution in itself. Those people are idiots.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,196
Location: Adelaide, Australia

11 Nov 2017, 7:09 am

Closet Genious wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
If I act like a pessimist, people say it's bad. If I try to be an optimist, other people say it's bad. Which group is right? It's their word against theirs.


Sorry, I was a bit dogmatic in my post.

Optimism can be good if you use it as a tool to solve a problem.

What I meant was people who tell you "to just be happy", as a solution in itself. Those people are idiots.


It's ok. It's just that sometimes before I can solve a problem I have to convince myself that solving the problem is actually possible. That's my optimism.

As for "just being happy", it's complicated. I keep seeing a million things in life that should be improved. Some little things and some big things. If I tried to fix everything I'd run myself ragged. If I lived the way I "should" I'd studying full time on top of my full time job and saving every penny but then I'd be driving myself crazy. I have to balance what I need to do for my future with what I need to do to enjoy getting there.

It's weird but sometimes I feel like I can't let myself be happy for any reason. Like I don't deserve to be happy. Occasionally I just have to let go and be happy for no good reason. Anyway I think I've ventured far off topic.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


Fireblossom
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 18 Jan 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,588

11 Nov 2017, 7:28 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Posture is the most forgotten and most important thing. Women don't like it when a guy's head is sticking out forward like a vulture.


I'm pretty sure it's not just women; from what I've seen men don't like it when a woman's posture is bad, either.

Some even say that a bad posture is a sign of laziness and/or dishonesty and there are people who actually believe this... note that I'm not one of them; bad posture might be a sign of some physical problem, but the only personality trait that I might link it to is shyness... then again that might just be from what is said about shy people; it's not like I have any evidence that they tend to have a bad posture or anything.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,685
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

11 Nov 2017, 7:29 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
If Sly wears decent clothes and has good posture, he would be at least "average."

I've seen men who look similar to him knoodling with women on the subway



No, I have never seen men who look like sly are « knoodlinh » with women anywhere.

In real life I see hot men paired with hot women, average with average and ugly with ugly -or alone; in at least 80% of couples; as for the remaining the gap is usually not so shocking.
And I have never see an obese men swarmed with women.

I don’t know where you WPers see all these plentiful of exceptions; I think you are just recalling the exceptions that caught your eyes and so you delutionally think it’s common.

It is not.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

11 Nov 2017, 7:36 am

It's mostly average with average. Sly is average-looking. I sometimes find "average" women quite hot, and get turned off to "hot" women.

The other day, I saw a 250 lb woman making out with a man of average weight (in average shape). The man seemed sincerely turned on. Chubby woman find ways to satisfy men; they really work at it.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

11 Nov 2017, 8:05 am

I like women with good posture—but not “militarily perfect” posture.

It is advantageous for me to have excellent posture because of my short stature. Mine is only “decent,” though, for my age.

Tall people tend to slouch, perhaps out of respect for shorter people. They don’t want to seem to be looming over people in conversation.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,196
Location: Adelaide, Australia

11 Nov 2017, 8:29 am

Fireblossom wrote:
I'm pretty sure it's not just women; from what I've seen men don't like it when a woman's posture is bad, either.

You're right, we don't.

I don't think people with poor posture are dishonest. I think they look like dorks but most of all I think they lack self-awareness. They would stand up straight if only they knew what they looked like.

It's bad news for aspies because it takes a great deal of empathy to see yourself from someone else's point of view without the aid of a mirror.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short