Women asking guys out?

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When you see something as an achievement, it’s usually because it’s hard to achieve. When you see “more of the risk”, it’s usually because, rather than being hard to achieve, it’s easy to find it even without looking for or wanting it. This suggests very strongly that, on average, for whatever ultimate reason (though it probably has a lot to do with the biological fact that sperm is cheap, while eggs and pregnancies are expensive), men want women an awful lot more than women want men.

Can't you just be a sperm donor then?

It may not be a “positive” experience, but it certainly proves beyond all reasonable doubt that at least someone was sexually attracted to you. Whether you care about this fact or not doesn’t in any way make it less true. Besides, by having no experiences, you don’t learn. I say bring the “negative” experiences on.



Probably some are picky—those who can afford to be.



Have you even considered that maybe some non-jerks will have sex with any woman, or at least with a big fraction of the world’s female population within a reasonable age range, just to have sex, but only with the woman’s consent given with a sound mind, with no exercise in power, control or anything of that sort, and trying to make the woman enjoy it, too? You seem to imply being desperate for sex and unable to get it necessarily means you’re a jerk and don’t respect women.





I wonder what kind of “logic” you run on. It seems to have nothing to do with the one I know. Let me try:

Some people say there’s a fancy kind of interaction they call gravitation, by which all things with mass in the Universe attract one another. In particular, since the Earth is pretty big by human everyday standards, if I’m dumped in mid-air, it’ll attract me forcefully, making me accelerate till I bump into the ground. If the Earth didn’t attract me, I’d just stay there hanging motionless without falling. This is what those weirdos say, that is.

Oh, but you know what? When I hit the ground, it hurts! If the fall is too long, I may even die. I feel violated, because I never told the Earth I wish to fall towards it. I don’t feel validated by the fall at all, and I’m offended at being told I should.

So no, it’s not necessarily logical to see the experience that I fall towards the Earth as evidence that it attracts me.

Makes perfect sense, right?



I was talking—and yes, that’s the very point you eventually came along to pretend to refute—about sexual attraction. So if men are just after sex with you, they’re very much sexually attracted to you, which proves my point, rather than refuting it.



The only thing you’ve pointed out is the same XFilesGeek did: that since the fact we were talking about doesn’t affect you, you don’t care about it and refuse to as much as acknowledge it, talking instead about your own concerns and pretending these somehow make it false. No fallacy has been uncovered, and none will be, because the fact is simple enough there’s no room for fallacies inside it.

Well, is that supposed to invalidate what I said? If so, how?

EDIT – Typo.

Last edited by Spiderpig on 22 Mar 2018, 4:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.

What? Why are you twisting my words around in your head to come up with strange "implications"? The fact that there are decent men who like to have consensual sex has no impact on the fact that there are also jerks who assault women for power/control. E.g. men who assault elderly women. Perhaps some of them are sexually attracted to the women, but I'm betting most are just going for an easy target. I don't think those women should consider their attack as evidence that they are sexually attractive.

I won't be responding any more to this line of posts even if you continue to mince my words etc. I've already had to ignore some of your responses because I don't even know where to begin to unpack them.

I’m not twisting anything; I asked you a question. You may choose to answer it or ignore it, but it seems you prefer to be offended and shut down the discussion that way. Well, I’ve never understood how that works, but it does illustrate how hard it is to find some actual debate anywhere, ever, with men or women.



I never questioned that. It’s you who listed on the one hand picky men, who won’t just have sex with any woman, and, on the other hand, jerks who will, but who will in addition abuse the woman if they can. The only demographic you failed to include in your list is men who aren’t picky about women they’d have sex with, but aren’t abusive, either, so I asked you if you were implying there are no such men.



An easy target for what? For sex. So they want to have sex with the women; in other words, they are sexually attracted to them. I wonder why you insist on denying this attraction. The men may be heinous and their motivations vile, but attraction is still attraction; it doesn’t become any kind of non-attraction.

I probably make an easy target for many kinds of assault or exercises in power or control, but noöne does it to me in a sexual way. Why? Because they’re not interested in having sex with me—because they’re not sexually attracted to me. They may be interested in other things, of course.



Yeah, because you say so, I guess. Might as well deny that the fact that objects fall is evidence for gravity. I don’t see it any more illogical than what you say.



I’m not “mincing” anything. Are you forbidding me from deriving logical conclusions from your words? If so, what value do your words have? Am I allowed to try to understand them at all? If the derivation is flawed, feel free to point out the flaws—that’s not what you’ve done so far.



No, you didn’t have to ignore them; you chose to do so, thus denying me the chance to attain any kind of understanding. Whatever—it seems pointless to continue, but certainly not for want of attempts on my part.

I've had plenty of "experience" with the "typical WP guy" telling me how I should regard my situation. It's just that myself, and other WP women, are getting tired of it.



No, it wasn't. The men here want women to admit we have it "easier" because we get more replies on dating sites. Myself and other women have repeatedly pointed out that that's not the case.



I've never stated that men complaining about lack of success "hate" women. My point is that men and women often talk past each other when it comes to their "experiences." Men and women are different, and what's "futile" is demanding women perceive their experiences the way men would if the situation was reversed (or visa-versa).

From what little I know about that, I think I’m way too old, and even when I was young enough, it’s doubtful they wouldn’t find some flaw or other to discard me—most prominently my autism, of course.

Sorry, I know this is way off topic, but I think we parted from the topic somewhere around page 2 or 3, haha.
Why is it you feel it is important (crucial even?) that your genes get passed on? Do you worry that your kids will struggle as much as you? Does that bother you?
I'm not implying anything here, I'm just interested. I have zero interest in having kids, but I do think I have worthy genes even if society doesn't play nice with them But the struggles a mini me might go through would concern me.

From what I know, sperm donation is REALLY strict.

Yeah, they only take Alpha sperm.

Okay uh... I'm looking for some honesty with this question, ladies do you really think men with autism have so much immature behavior and emotional problems that you can't stand being around them so you'd prefer they stay with their family their entire life so that you don't have a humiliating marriage experience and you would rather spend that marriage with a more upbeat and emotionally strong man? I can understand completely why as marriage and a relationship is very demanding on how you respond on each social situation and that autistics may struggle with each and every one. In fact when I compare myself to plenty of non-autistics I don't see the same quirks I have and I feel that I'm being lied to when I'm a beautiful person just to be confident about myself and not feel depressed because of mental condition reasons? I've noticed myself as being different as I tend to be scolded more and tend to be the one asking more questions while out in public than most people, and well when I attempt any form of a serious statement it is seen as silly and the response to agreement that it's silly is underestimated as well as the attempt of humor, which is looked at as a way of recovering from sadness rather than a way to connect and enjoy with. And at this moment most of my responses appear less casual and more well... Like you would see from a teacher or from a PSA lecture on believing in yourself as an autistic.

Bottom line it feels wishy and washy and sort of like living a lie and because you can't see yourself you're told you are doing fine so you can't know the depressing truth.

Last edited by ZZZTired on 23 Mar 2018, 7:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

Honestly, I notice a lot of extremely similar patterns among women of the same community. it's something that always made me climb the wall..... I can give hundreds of sameness-pattern examples.

For example, one thing I noticed about the local Muslim girls, like 99% of them , they all find the (local) term girlfriend or boyfriend offensive and I learned that the hard way, don't f**k ask me why as I don't have an idea but they prefer to refer to a non-husband partner as 'lover' or 'soulmate' or 'life's partner' - they seem to associate the boyfriend/girlfriend term to non-serious hookup it seems.
Their Christian counterparts, who live in the SAME country and speak the SAME language, and even those who even coexist in the SAME neighborhood use the term boyfriend/girlfriend with no problem.

Another same-same pattern example: I notice among East Asian girls, they always refer to themselves in their personal ad as along the lines of 'Simple girl', I don't know why but I would have become a millionaire if I get a one buck everytime I find this one on Asian girl' profile. Another pattern among them is they always think they're ugly and if you tell them they're pretty they always reply with something like 'no, I am not, i am ugly'.

1. I'm quite comfortable when surrounded by Aspie men (no much expirience with other kinds of autism IRL). But not around men (Aspie or NT) that desperately try to pick me up.
2. Are you living in the US? Compliments seem to be something required there, so you get some.

<need to go, I'm gonna finish when I'm back>

<back>
So I would interpret this "you're doing great" as a meaningless line, traditional to this culture form of encouragement.

Next issue - should autistic men marry or avoid marriage? Depends on the man. And the spouse. It's not about finding anyone, it's about finding someone for you.
By the way, men looking for anyone are repulsive to women. When she knows he doesn't care for her personally but for any relationship, she is unlikely to show interest. Unless she is an abuser. Or he can conceal the reality and make her think she is The One.

Back to autistic men attracting women: can you make your special interest into a career? My boss is very quirky and obviously Aspie but AFAIK he has romantic life. I guess being a valued specialist helps with it.
Or can you make your interests into some shared-interest based meeting people? I think this is the best way to find someone suitable, way better than online dating.

It's better than online dating, and as demeaning as this sounds directed towards myself, I have the hardest time connecting emotionally.

magz, I haven't been out in the world that much, I haven't had that much experience in life, and there is this desperate need to show that you already fit in so that you you're confident to succeed later in life. We have to know the truth of who we really are in the world. It's freaking terrible and it feels like some screwed up cinderella story, but we are trying to prevent that cinderella story from being as screwed up as possible, and while at the same time just try to be plain and ordinary as crazy and stupid as that may sound.

I like being plain and ordinary because it attracts the least amount of trouble.

I'm hoping I'm getting my point across well, and it is very frustrating and difficult to get a point across without having an eyebrow raised at me.