Women asking guys out?

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and at this moment I feel like editing my comment, because I feel it may still look too personal.

The sempiternal conundrum again. Before he gets to know her, he can't possibly care for her personally. If this is enough to make him repulsive, then no man can ever get close to a woman other than family members, ever. In fact, she might actually turn out to be The One if she hadn't rejected him on principle, without knowing anything about him, other than that he wasn't specifically looking for her personally. No need to conceal reality.



Yep. In order to succeed, you'd better succeed.

You're talking like women existed on a different planet. There are lots of activities people of both genders can do together to get to know each other before starting courting or dating.

That's exactly why I recommend shared interests.

So you are not from Venus? I am shocked.

Shhhh... I can breathe only with 100 atm 450 Celsius degree acid atmosphere.

I absolutely think women should ask men out!

I woman has to be proactive, otherwise her choice of man will be limited to only the ones who were courageous enough to put themselves out there and ask her out. However, I think some of the loveliest men are quite shy and would struggle to ask a woman out. Its a tricky business though isn't it? as a feminist I'm of the opinion that a woman can and should be in charge of her own love life - be the subject not the object (as Ms de Beauvoir would say), but society, in practice, seems to still hold that a woman should sit fanning herself demurely, and wait for men to approach her.

Well, that's my two cents worth, hope it is of use

I thought that was a feature, not a bug.

Spiderpig do you mean that its a way of 'weeding out' less aggressive males from a woman's potential suitors?

aggressiveness does not make a man more worthwhile.

No way. I prefer shyness to confidence. I often have to pursue someone cos they are not likely to do the pursuing. Or at least, make it mutual. Sitting back doesn't get me far at all.

I like feigning confidence in spite of my shyness; it comes across as unbelievably goofy but gets to the point.

Courage is always a good thing by definition, if not the definition itself of what makes something good. Therefore, it can only be a good thing to weed out those who lack it. Truth fears no trial.

Confidence can manifest itself in different ways. A man may not be confident with women, but he may be confident about his abilities in other things - his job, interests, etc., and sometimes that confidence can be very appealing and make a lack of confidence with women seem less obvious/unappealing. I really like shy men. I quite like being a little bit more in control. Also, a man may not be confident, but be a good listener, good friend, father to his children/provider for his family and this can make a lack of confidence seem pretty inconsequential. Oohh and being funny is great!

Yes, well put. And wouldn't someone who is confident in all aspects of their life and self be kinda dull? Well no, that's just my opinion, I'm sure there are people who love that in a partner. Which goes back to the point that we all look for different things (with trends, of course). I'd only recommend that a man work on improving his confidence with approaching women if it's something he personally wants to work on for himself, not because he thinks it's "what women want". No matter what the quality is or how appealing that pop psych article made it sound, not all women want it.

Also I just want to add my two cents about being "funny". If someone puts in their dating profile that they are "funny" (rather than showing me their sense of humour), I'll immediately have doubts. Humour is subjective, so again, if you like your type of humour, don't try to change it just to be "more funny" to women. You won't know what type of funniness to work on.

Most women it seems, mean relationship confidence ie asking her out, picking the date time and location, paying for it all, planning future dates etc. having the general idea the woman’s dating him already and just doesn’t know it, provided they find him attractive otherwise it’s creepy.

I have zero confidence with women I’ve never had a 2nd date never had a relationship that’s how confidence is built by having successful experiences if you’ve had nothing but failure and rejection you won’t have confidence. That’s why professionals have internships so people build their confidence in their field.

My funny or humor is in things I do and say not in scripted comedy and thus can’t be said on profiles. I dont know how people come up with witty jokes to put on their profiles maybe the google them?

OkC has a similar sense of humour to me, so it basically holds out the platter for me to throw my lines onto. Other sites are more serious and don't provide prompts for humour, so it's harder. I also describe my humour in my profile, rather than claiming to be funny. Then readers can decide if they think they'd enjoy my type of humour.