"Just be friendly."

Post Reply New Topic

I’ve actually been stuck in an “entry job” for years.

I was mostly what Boo described for many years, though I was independent and had relationship experience.

I was overweight through part of my adulthood, and didn’t care about clothes too much. I cared somewhat about hygiene.

I sought out eccentric, artsy sorts of women mostly. Or women who wanted somebody to talk to (like on the train).

I never complained about my lot.

It's not idealism, it's a different set of priorities. I really expected my potential boyfriends to be good at Math and mechanics, and enthusiastic about science.

Well, someone who is REALLY good at Math and Mechanics would certainly have a good career, and since he is more likely to have good career then more likely he can move out, more likely to have a car.

Back to square 1, magz.

According to the “theoreticians,” I’d still be a loveless virgin today if I didn’t seek to learn about women and understand them.

Women cater to men somewhat, and vice versa.

I’m not good at math and mechanics. Im not a “genius” in any way. I’m not “smart” enough for Mensa. I like dealing with logic over emotion, but find relying solely on logic leads to many dead ends.

I would bet that being a parent has helped Magz to have a less radical perspective when it comes to logic vs emotion.

I’m short, on the heavy side, not socially adept, clumsy. I learned how to hide my awkwardness through being something of a jokester eccentric. And listening to what other people say. Making a little small talk when needed—but not too often. People understand that I’m not “like them.”

People think I’m “nuts but not dangerous.”

Most women don’t go for classic “alpha” males. They fantasize about movie stars, but realize the man they are with now is the one they really want to be with. Some of these men really are not good-looking in the classic sense.

I don't say a man has to be <insert your expectations here> to find a woman.
Of Boo's list I had "no problem" for three points and some comments on two.
But I have my own individual taste, quite independent from the list.
Other female individual may have it differently.
The point is to seek ones compatibile with you.

It has been said that women choose alpha males for the excitement and thrills, and settle for beta males for the comfort and security. Being a man, I don't know how valid this is.

The women here are TELLING all you men that they don't choose partners according to the criteria you are so intent on attributing to them, most of you are projecting your masculine analysis on women and you are not LISTENING to the essence of what they are saying.
Maybe if you start listening and accepting what they say regardless of how illogical it is to you, you may begin to have positive relationships and learn to internalise that women need different things to men in order to be happy .

It doesn't make sense to say to a woman "no, you are wrong, you don't choose partners because of good chemistry, humour, good character etc, I know better! It's money, good looks and status that you want."

This is how men compete with each other, not how women choose partners. You are not getting the female psyche at all.