Negative attitudes in men

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Yeah, because I haven't heard this piece of advice before... (and apparently the "rolling eyes" smiley is broken...)

In all seriousness, though, it's not so much a "where do *good* women (whatever that means) congregate"... I don't even categorize women into "good" and "bad" anymore (those terms are just arbitrary modifiers when used in this situation anyway), since good/bad status doesn't affect the outcome: I get rejected...

My point is this: I'm not looking for a "good" woman, I'm looking for a woman that actually likes me... and that has been impossible to come by, since in all likelihood such a woman doesn't even exist...

Cmon TOS, you know I love ya.... That's why I keep spouting my propaganda -- I keep hoping it will stick.

You really have to discriminate, and show that you are discriminating, because otherwise you will be devalued in the eyes of pretty much every woman that you come across. If the woman knows you're up for anyone, they will take that as an insult to their own fine points of character.

Think of it as if the woman were a fine pastry chef, and some idiot redneck wanders into her restaurant and wants "some kind of twinky thingy," or some starving refugee comes in and wants "anything with calories." Kind of a waste of the chef's talent, no?

In my not so humble opinion, I think a lot of guys with girl issues have one of two problems -- they are either too discriminating (a la Jason Alexander's character in "Shallow Hal") or not discriminating enough. I totally understand that you're starving, and have been for a while, but go find something small to nibble on and work your way up to a meal. It's sounding like you're working your way there.

Final note -- Never let a woman know that you are looking for anything and anyone -- it is the nail in the coffin for your chances of dating her or her friends.

It's not like I'll take all-comers... When I say "I'm looking for a woman that likes me", what I'm really looking for is a woman that likes to spend time with me... I'm not necessarily referring to romantic time; it can be just something that friends do... but the most important thing is that she either tries to involve herself in my life or invites me to involve myself in hers...

That's part of why I don't feel attracted to strangers, no matter how attractive they are physically compared to others... that also means that if a stranger tried to hit on me, I would think she was on something... but if a friend invited me to one of her friend's birthday parties or something (assuming it wasn't some kind of all-girl thing), the idea that she is trying to involve me in her life would be really attractive to me...

In short, at least for me, friendship is the foundation for attraction... the friendship can exist without the attraction, but not the other way around... if a woman in question already has a boyfriend, my brain automatically kills the attraction to protect myself from getting into a confrontational situation, but the friendship is still there (and if she later mentions that she broke up and is now single, the attraction can rebuild itself anew)... but in any case, I need to know her before I can love her...

^^ female friends are underrated. Don't worry about the friendzone, I think there is a lot to be gained by just having some women friends in your life, even if it's only a couple.

Oh I don't worry about having a few female friends... and I agree that they're underrated...

The problem with the friend zone is this: "Once a friend, always a friend"... couple that with the fact that I cannot become attracted to strangers, and I'm pretty much at a loss to be able to do anything...

Damn, bro.

Ever see the "WARNING" screen from the beginning of the movie Fight Club?

“WARNING: If you are reading this, then this warning is for YOU. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. - Tyler”

Words of wisdom, my friend. Except for the "start a fight" part, unless it's in a sanctioned boxing match at the gym or in a martial arts dojo or something. I imagine getting knifed or shot in a street fight would never help to improve anyone's social life, heh.

But besides the "start a fight" part, the rest of it is pretty solid advice.

Just something to think about.

It's good hypothetical advise. I just don't have a way to apply it. I don't have a reason to leave my home. I don't have a means to meet people of the opposite sex. I don't shop. I rarely masturbate. I can't quit my job because I need the money, etc. It makes a good point and I probably am just a statistic.

For meeting girls - Have you tried musical concerts/art gallery openings/coffee shops/outdoor street festivals, etc.? Anything loud and social, with a lot of people, usually works well.

You got to live a little, man. Sitting home by yourself and staring at the wall night after night can't be enjoyable.

I don't go to a lot of concerts. I'm very picky about the music I listen to and it's not very common that a band I really like comes around. I also don't like going by myself. To me, it seems wrong to intrude on another group of people. I find art galleries boring so I don't go to them. I hit Starbucks every now and then for coffee, but the ones near me only seem to be populated by old people. I don't know about any kind of street festivals. The few I have gone to seem to be more focused around kids. My problem is that I don't like loud events with a lot of people. The only exception I make is going to baseball games. I love watching live games despite the thousands of people there. But again, I go to games by myself and even among thousands of people, I never see solitary women just standing around and I have no idea how to approach a group.

How about an adult ed class?

They say narrow interests is an AS trait... I think you've got narrow interests. We have that in common.

As for groups... yes, they are tough to approach. That's why meeting women through friends is best, because I think for a lot of women, friends act as a pre-screening. If you can hang in their social group, you're already 75% approved, the remaining part can be much easier to accomplish. It is tougher when you're a stranger and trying to jump from zero to 80% (getting a number and her interest) to 100% (a dating relationship).

I definitely have a narrow field of interests. Always have and probably always will. My problem is that I don't have any friends either. At least, not good friends. I have a couple acquaintances I hang out with every now and then. I don't know if they're also Aspies or not, but they're kind of loners too with no female friends.

Hrm. Then I suppose all those are out of the picture.

I was of the understanding that Seattle was a pretty large city. Ever tried one of those "speed dating" type of things? Also, what about any of the dating sites that so many people seem to use - eHarmony, Match.com, PlentyOfFish (or whatever the name was), etc. I know there's a couple of others, but I can't remember what their names are.

absolutely not true...
these qualities might be appealing at first, but get really unnerving with time .

I think silent, serious man are way more attractive because if they do smile once in a while
their face lights up light a Christmas tree, it is always such a surprise and has this "wow" factor.

Man who are always funny and smiling get boring. Nevertheless a man should be capable
of cracking up about something once in a while.